'I don't want to go to your funeral'
I still can hear perfectly
Your voice
As it cracked
It sounded as if you had choked
When I'm anywhere alone
And the world wants me gone
I'd disappear into the ground's nothing
Your words pull me back up
I love you so,
I cannot bear to hurt you
To make you cry
You don't know anymore
About this or these hopeless nights
Where your choked voice replays in my head
Over and over as a broken record
I love you endlessly
You have become my strength to go on
I carry you always

which is perfect for what you did.
(what you are)
(what you always will be)
when you told me about sunflowers being your favorite
and I immediately wanted to buy all of them in the store for you –
then, and only then, I noticed how deep I was
in the storm you poured down on my world.
I was
(am)
drowning in your words,
(barbed and sarcastic)
your smile,
(mischievous)
your laugh
(oh, how it curved your face into a masterpiece).
I wanted to bottle it all up, keep it to myself;
a dragon with his hoard.
(not gold, but echoes of you)
I took all of you in,
and it nearly killed me.
(so sweetly)
but now, I know how to swim.
and you are the only sea
(storm)
I want to swim in.

but, it’s over now.
and you have moved on.
and the sea is drying up.
so, what to do now?
now
it’s
my
turn
to
rain.
(for you)

letting loose old chains
you and your wry laughter
defeated by the day old machines
of life and their constant clogging

time's hands tear into spring
nail first, peeling off the light constricting canopy
twisting barbwire off delicate skin
strangling you on a couch from hell

wake up to the smell of bourbon
and dead roses - so pretty
your lashes creating the shadows
on your gaunt cheekbones, and your name is Soul