The weight of the world
     is love.
Under the burden
     of solitude,
under the burden
     of dissatisfaction

     the weight,
the weight we carry
     is love.

Who can deny?
     In dreams
it touches
     the body,
in thought
     constructs
a miracle,
     in imagination
anguishes
     till born
in human--
looks out of the heart
     burning with purity--
for the burden of life
     is love,

but we carry the weight
     wearily,
and so must rest
in the arms of love
     at last,
must rest in the arms
     of love.

No rest
     without love,
no sleep
     without dreams
of love--
     be mad or chill
obsessed with angels
     or machines,
the final wish
     is love
--cannot be bitter,
     cannot deny,
cannot withhold
     if denied:

the weight is too heavy

     --must give
for no return
     as thought
is given
     in solitude
in all the excellence
     of its excess.

The warm bodies
     shine together
in the darkness,
     the hand moves
to the center
     of the flesh,
the skin trembles
     in happiness
and the soul comes
     joyful to the eye--

yes, yes,
     that's what
I wanted,
     I always wanted,
I always wanted,
     to return
to the body
     where I was born.

                         San Jose, 1954

You could say i was weak for telling the truth,
Or naive for letting myself love you.
You could say i was silly to not play it cool,
Or completely pathetic for admitting my weakness was you.

But in the age where being heartless is romanticised,
I wont let my vulnerable honesty be capsized.
For it is exactly what this world needs,
Understanding that unrequited love doesnt have to bring you to your knees.

Don't become calculated like the ones who hurt you before,
For in love it will never last if you have to keep score.
Dont let heartbreak rob you of your openness,  
Here lies youre upmost innocence.

Broken walls and cracked beams,
remind me of the cracks in the trees.
Everyday is just another game,
but nothing is the same.

Silhouettes dance in the clouds,
crashing into each other, so loud.
They shine down on me with shame,
but nothing is the same.

Blisters and tears in my skin,
invite the Devil to come in,
blood and dirt both look the same.

Every word is another temptation,
I'm just trying to find salvation,
some things never change.

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

Is it love or is it lies?
Perhaps both, or neither,
Inflamed by need,
Quenched by self,
Swollen with desire.
Imagination fans the fire
Until the floorboards creak outside my door
- Then I brink for her no more.

Hometown
  Heartbreak
    You wonder how much you can take
         Couldn't fathom what you do
     He left you to start anew
The dishes pile up
   Even though you haven't been hungry
You wait for the call
   To fly out and make money
LA for a week
You live day to day like the rest of us
I see past your concealer
You go back and its mixed love

There's a tenderness you've known
You know it best when its fading
You just wanna feel at home
But there's no escaping

     You've gotten used to the names and how mean they can be
    They take who you are in scenes too seriously
  But there's some things you can't help
You've loved and you've lost and protected yourself
       And through it all you've stayed who you began as
   And you still will if it doesn't pan out

       Looking for that one unbreakable connection
  You just want to feel true love
You still believe with every wrong step and misdirection
*Even pornstars fall in love

Maybe my idea of beauty
            is different
    than yours
  Maybe my idea of perfection
            is not about what's less
       but about what's more
  Maybe my eyes can see through skin
     into the heart, soul and mind
              that's deep within
     Maybe, just maybe
             looking at what's inside
      is where we should all begin

When I was small
I walked on fairy dust and
my dreams were as tall
as skyscrapers towering
above the universe
inside of me, was the galaxy.
I was born of the cosmos,
full of light and love
passionate in my quest to
give this to others.
But as I grew my star began to fade,
stars need love and light to survive
and deprived of both my blazing fire
transformed into weak candlelight.
At school I had learnt it was easier
to hide your light
than to stand out as different
and be extinguished in an instant.
So I kept myself to myself
at the back of the class,
knowing the answers but not
shouting them out.
I daydreamed, and doodled
stars on the corners
of my books, all the while
I could hear the universe
calling out to me to trust,
that we are all born of this
cosmic stardust.