Innocence is the days when
I thought that monsters
lived under the bed rather
than slept right beside me.

It was the times I feared
heights almost as much as
I now fear brooding stares.

Back when I thought
passionate love was the
only kind worth having
— that I now wish for a
lover who loves quietly.

Innocence was thinking
danger was an ill-advised
adventure, not a man.

It was admiring a tornado
heart and not realizing the
damage it would cause.

Falling in love with a stranger is painless
Effortless to adore their smile

It is simple to wish the very best,
For wanting nothing more but their happiness

He is my stranger
But we weren't this distant before

I continue to cherish his smile
Fall again for those soft eyes

He was my lover -
Hands warm and lips warmer

Presently, we are each other's ghosts
Haunting the halls

Disturbing my memories
Troubling his thoughts

I am in love with a stranger
But not any ordinary outsider

He was my best friend
My ghost knows me better than I know myself

Loving a stranger is undemanding
But difficult when that stranger is also your ghost

I'm sorry I could not love you
through all of your endless metaphors
or in all the ways you handed me words
of what your heart had in store.

I'm sorry I could not love you
when you loved me with so much magic.
I'm sorry somehow I made you realize
that fairy tales did not happen.

I'm sorry I could not love you
for your hands or for your eyes,
for the way you kept me laughing
or for the way you loved my smile.

I'm sorry I could not love you
and you decided to say goodbye.
But now here I sit and write
remembering your lullabies.

I'm sorry now for telling the truth-
but this has become a tragedy.
I'm sorry I only learned to love you
when you had stopped loving me.

I got a letter from the government
A week back, Tuesday morning
It came in a grey envelope
It was stamped with a red warning

The envelope was tattered
And the words were inked in red
To be opened by recipient
That was all it said

I checked the name typed on there
It was mine, so I could see
John Augustus Reed
Beale Street, Unit 43

I opened it and sat right down
I had been drafted so it said
I had to report on Thursday
I heard a ringing in my head

I didn't understand it all
To me it made no sense
This plain grey mottled envelope
Sent from my government

I followed the instructions
And showed up promptly at the place
Something was asunder
I could tell from the man's face

I showed him my draft letter
Explained, I didn't understand
He looked at it and laughed a bit
This wasn't what I'd planned

He said son, is this you
Are you John Augustus Reed
I told him I'm John Junior
He said that's all the news I need

This letter is a glitch, boy
It wasn't meant for you
It was sent out to your father
Back in nineteen seventy two

Somehow it was mangled
Got lost along the way
Until somebody found it
And you got it on that day

I'm glad you chose to come here
Showed up exactly when it said
But, I think you now can go on home
I think it's best, instead

It's amazing how one letter
And you can take this to the bank
Can fill a man with honor
For that I must give thanks.

To wear a mask
an avatar
we're insecure
and it's quite bizarre
that we lie to folks
both near and far
in hopes they'll see
our rising star
while scared of that question
of who we are

I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. For years I have done what others wanted. I have been something I am not. Well today that all ends, I will no longer conform. I am tired of being hungry so I can fit into clothes that I do not like. I will no longer walk in shoes that are uncomfortable to me. I will eat until I am satisfied and wear my hear how I please. I will gains some weight if I want to and feel good in my own skin. I will voice my opinion even if others do not agree. Today I am reinventing myself, today I will finally be me.