To the world they left Behind, they sadly bid adieu
To the nights that were kind, they wept away like tears
For the night that swallowed them whole, their thoughts are gone
And with them, their dreams

Socks off, shoes thrown away.
No more days away from my kingdom
That where I lay my head may you take
That where I lay my head pray you take
The king has come to tire.
I tire of peasant with swollen foot
Landlord troubles
Beggars of sought
I wish to make kings from the low
I wish to christen each a man of himself
Now please, leave your servant to rest

I look out its nice out. But the sun. The sun shines in my lightless room
reminding me of everything I own which is sad, so I frown. But I forget when it leaves, My room goes black, right when the demons come back.

I split my hand open just to watch the anger in me grow.
I tore myself deep inside to watch the boy inside suffer.
I took the time to call you just so that I would cry.
I stood in the doorway to show you how little I wanted to be there.
I could have tried harder, I admit it.
No, that's a honest lie, I couldn't have.

In my eyes, i've seen the sun rise
the son die
then the sun set.

Without you who am I
A king
A God
I find myself without er
I could kiss the heavens and laugh
But none of that would be as great
to think
I'm happy with who I am,
A peasant
My weary head on your lap
Thank you

I don't have any more words to say.
I don't have anything wise enough to teach you something new.
I look back at the last three years and I consider what that looks like.
Is it merely two strangers that have savagely danced around our egg shells?
Merely two poker players with an understanding of each other who have no reason to hold face.
Was I merely just a tinder date you got too attached to or am I someone you recognize when you fall back on good times?
Am I merely a convenience like your disastrous inheritance.
Am I a grace and relief like your disastrous inheritance.
Either way I am the one that is disastrously here.
My value is that of a red ball to a dog who desires a single ball.
But,
forgets about it every time its thrown.
That was cold.
But you have been too.

drawtext(the cold dark)
I'm glitching.
there are parts of me where the code runs but nothing prints.
why cant I remember what I wrote.
Overlap,
Unknown variables,
variable emotions.love undefined
variable emotions.trust undefined
variable thoughts.doyoucare undefined
variable thoughts.selfworth does not exist could not be launched


scrthoughts.thecold_dark
if Object(self) = true,
{{
I feel like a faulty copy ripped from someone else's script.
I have a function that lets me scream.
But it wont start.
I have a function that lets me dream.
But it wont start.
My cpu has gone cold while the processor over heats.
I don't know how to get past this last line of code.
I don't know how this code to line get past.
past know to I don't get how..
...
I fear its killing me.
}
if alone  =  true
repeat
}

Sometimes the most simplistic poems are beautiful.

I eat apples because i'm sad, and I like coke too much;

My gums hurt when I bite into the skin of it.
Reminding me that sometimes, the Pleasures of the things that are simple,
are sublimely painful.
like apples, coke in mouthfuls.
It hurts because my gums bleed from chemical burns of stimulates that are lacking opalescence experiances
Jacking my sails  that left me high and dry.
in all odible sensible seriousness,
I'm ready to cry,
hopeing by the end
that I beg
like the children forced to manufacture it,
Hopeing to die.

But I beckon for that pain
Not out of self destructive gain.
But out of recognition for what i've lost.
The identity of the man drowning in Desolate porcelein desserts and tossed into oceans named after the many emotions i'm swayed by.
Sadness leaves me floating,
Anxiety leaves me floundering, Depression has me drowning.
Not a matter of difference but for the sake of juxtaposition.
When Thoughtfulness is chosen.
Happiness lets me see my position.
Then Confidence puts my gears in motion.
Because i've seen bouys floating,
men in yahts gloating,
Survivers floating,
Kids in rags
Not clothing
But like a light house
Your smile
Glowing

I can't think right now because my teeth hurt. From eating apples and likeing coke too much.
But at least I feel alive

In a moment
without  rational momentum
you declared,
you didn't care
and that's fair
but in regards to actuality
and physicality.
I'm sorry I've been damaged
Rearranged  to fit implementation than rationality.
I'm sorry i'm not ******
I'm sorry i'm not wanting
I'm sorry for being me.
I'm sorry for me.
I'm sorry for being me and you having to deal with it.
In perspective.
I only acted as you demanded
As I was reprimanded for my performance I saw a moment to repent.


I don't care to.

If given the chance;
Should we not be better than our parents?
These people who live like the earth is theirs;
Like tyrants.

Patricide beneath us,
Grace taught from our disgrace
Peace made from grief,
Strength bonded through the clench in our teeth.

I thought us a different breed,
As childish as it may be to hear or read,

But I thought us different
A bloodline of heroes forgotten to times passing.
People who's sole reason was to bring out the soul in others.
That honor was doing the right thing when no one else was watching.

I know god has pried his eyes away when we needed him most.
But should we be so willing to do the same and give way to suffering and pain and just raise a glass and toast?

It was a child's dreams,
Borrowed from books on our grandmothers shelves with loose seams.
A book about us,

That we would rise above our parents and be the things they couldn't.
That we could stop history from going to the future where it shouldn't.

I thought we were different
but maybe you're right,
life is indifferent.

I think, for a matter of fact.
I feel, I project, I confide, and of all things I hope.

With that in my mind, I reflect and coincide with these aspects so covalent.

But what about what I reject?
The matter of the individual is the gradual unequivocal repression and growth of that individual

It is required for the soul

Nothing is required.

Nothing is required beyond what existence requires.
"good" or "bad"

And just as people exist so too does existence.
We demand so much and request so much.

Existence can only provide what we provide for existence.

This is my semblance to actuality, not minimalism.

I reject what could be, for a future that's beyond me.

It was that night we slept over at your friends house, when we had a room to ourselves, It was probably the best night I will ever have. A lot of things awoke inside of me. Passion, little lionheart, Curiosity of my self, and feelings I couldn't explain for you. I was still little lionheart, to be honest.  I was scared, I could only take baby steps, afraid of where strides would land. Because At that moment, when you woke up at the dead of night. You grabbed my head from being on your stomach and pulled me up to your heart. You said, "I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me." I replied after a grin, "I still feel your touch in my dreams". We both grinned. "forgive me my weakness but i don't know why, Without you its hard to survive" . belting the last sound at a low moan of tiredness. We laughed,When it went silent, then you lifted my head and kissed me. At the same moment I passed out, I'm pretty sure I wanted to be perfect for you. That's the best I can explain it.

That moment, That realization
That all they say are pretty words
Ego boosters in forms of compliments
Reasons and excuses, realizing its not real
That all they're trying to do?
is make me feel better

it appears to be a sickness of the soul
in truth,
it is human to be a fool.
I hope to cultivate something that grows beyond me.
I hope to see something that towers me.
like an intensity enticed by agony but it's weight lifted of its immensity on the value of its words and the promise that continuously grows.

My dreams are enshrouded in a silk of death and destruction erupting into a curtain fire that blocks off a room of its single entry.
When awake I stand as sentry, bags on my eyes heavier than my body.

And those dreams that bare no nightmare.
All I can see is open skies and full seas.
untouched forests and no one else.
I just take in the moment and stare.
I brush my hands along the bark of every tree.
I take the time to reconcile with my self.

I've written love letters, suicide notes, inspirational essays, stories,
and most of all I've written poems.

Even so the feelings come and go.
and that's what I do,
I just go.
You see Taoism has taught me some things.
Go with the flow.
I am most useful when my mind is clear.
The things I hope to keep become my fear.
so I let it go.

I let it go,
Not like rocks in a river only to be dredged up by passing currents
But like the words I've committed to parchment
that happiness and sadness are life's concurrence

Let me regal you with a tale. About brave adventurer's from long ago, That would seize the day as their own. At night they sat by a grotto, it's waters light was on their face shown. Looking up to the night sky. Stars began to fall around them, some. Until they swallowed one whole. Up they awoke to find themselves whole. Never being able to remember the tale

One to describe the light and how it illuminates the room
Two to capture the desperation to change a flickering bulb
Three to show the torment lived by the first three
Four who debated the philosophy of light
But in the end?
In the end no one cared to change the flickering light

This ones to you whose mind is fierce and body timid
Here's to the one I call Lion heart may your days never be numbered. Heres to the victories over broken hearts and conquered realms. Heres to the one I call lion heart. A girl who doesn't know when to sleep and has had too much caffeine

We must use words in the same tone we handle weapons
hoping never to hurt the wrong person
To protect those we love
To entertain friends
To master its blade is impossible
Thats not true though
No ones took the time to.

A knight in shining armor where none no a shine brighter
That one that King Arthur had to make another seat for
Lux was her name, She stole the crowd with her laugh
She stole their hearts with her determination
Lux my angel, It's time to sleep, no more stories
You have preschool in the morning....
Maybe just one more

I wont play your games I wont
Your Ideology to me is barbearish
Who could follow this Idea
This one we call
Marketing

I've burnt my bridge,
I've delved my dives
I broke my word
I died so many times.

I hoped you'd see
I thought you'd think
I wrought my self
I scared myself.

There's no need
thesis fed
broken found
thoughtfulness made bound.

I'm scared to care for others
I'm aware of fair play
at least I thought about your heart
But we were better off from finish to start.

Remembering the death of yourself is as important as your birthday.
Do not forget the moments you spent devouring yourself for the contentment of others.
In remembrance, give memory to the times you've destroyed yourself for others.
what is more than you?
the others who've devoured themselves for you.
We've all got a cost; whether it's our plasma, body or emotions.
With this notion in mind, keeping in mind,
we ourselves are for sale.
Every transaction is not without gain and undoubtly with loss.
uncourtly as it may be. we find value in our transactions.
when we partake in putting weights on scales who's value only exists based on realities distorted by histories written by victors who don't care nor dare trace scars at two a.m.  and say.
...
...
...
I love you.
Because eight letter sentences don't make happy endings. actions speak louder than words so what the hell are we saying? who are we portraying  when we betray ourselves thinking eight letters can build a castle.

Memento mori  to the being who dies every day.

This is reality
It's not without burden and its not without wounds.
But the burden of living gives way to boons so flavorful and delightful.
I might die every day
Just to live once.

Today, I killed a man at the cinema. I exhaled softly watching the smoke catch itself on my words. He sits there in his chair. It's a shame it came to this. I guess I didn't have much of a choice. The end of my smoke ignites as I give life to the embers. I exhale softly. The movie continues to play. In honesty if god needed a reason for taking this mans life it was for his taste in movies. A smile escapes my lips at the thought. I pat him on the shoulder, confused he peers behind him and looks at me. I lean in close and reply...
This is the good part. lean back and finish the job. Smoke sticks to the air as I put my cig out in his hair.

Come tomorow or the day after
If it be tomorow then pick up the pen and repeat
Come tomorow or the day after

You tease me when I want you
You ask for more when I deny you
The feeling that you have your own agenda
is all the more reason I adore you

Your eyes so gossamer I'm already entranced
Your skin so smooth no stone smoother could I rest hands upon
I know not where you are or where you stand But I know this
That someday you will Be found

Standing in between two bodies. One is the same and the other I'm not too impressed with. What gives me this lump in my throat is knowing that I may never see either of these two again if I don't choose. I hold each individually. A warm tear rolls down my cheek onto the boy that lay in my arms dying. His red and black jacket that hid his worst fears. His torn jeans I couldn't ever find the time to sew for him. Never finding time to listen to his stupid insecurities.  His breath slowly reaching the point of no more, The feeling of holding back what I need to say to him burns almost as bad as the heart break he faced the day he was left alone.
I hold him close. If only I could have explained to him how stupid he was being. I sat there, I could hear the footsteps. I can feel Myself begin to walk away. And so he lay bloodied and bruised. Alive, but very much dead. I turn to Myself who is already halfway out the door? "Will he be alright?" I ask Myself. Taking a longing look at the boy on the floor.
I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I walked over, my eyes became solid,  no more blue and green with a sense of instability in my nature. Just a solid cold blue. I put my hand on my shoulder with a half ***'d grin. "No,but he's better off dead anyway." I look at the buzzing flies crawling on the boy, the supposed man holding him close. I know i'm only wasting words on a soon to be dead idiot.

I can only hope that I'm as **** as my Soul
That all my scars show through
That my wounds are shown in the best of light
That I am battered and bruised
But never ready to admit defeat
Never ready to die
as a soul
Just imagine it, Thats ****

My skin moves with the ageing of society.
That my bones know the song of lovers distant and near
Tapping fingers upon stones and earth alike
My voice rumbles the mountains echo of old

I am the dark forest and within me is the secret of life
Within me is the primordial soul
The extinction of each being placed upon grave stones
I will rise up again to claim humans from themselves

I will rise up
my dynasty never ending
I am the forest here my call

If I could spin myself into words
I would describe myself with as much detail as possible

Rewrite my entire frame
Detail myself with messy  handwriting at every edge
Take my rough edges and show the true grit of my feet
Pour my body into the shape of the page to become whole

But for now I'll just say it and hope you get my meaning

Welcome back. the tent is raised.
our town is razed,
our eyes go unfazed
Unable to escape a dream come true
Unable to expect to be left with so few.
A calculated loss, given attrition
given munition, and a lack of nutrition.
It wasn't war that we asked for, we just wanted peace.
It wasn't you that we die for, the dignity belongs to ourselves.
When you play that melody on your piano,
In your private home,
Remember me.

I'd dare not say it
I mustn't I wont
That stars cant shine brighter
I said it, sorry i jest.

You owe me a shower
If you thought you could deny this from me
I understand what it's like to go without
But if it never existed in the first place
I'd kick your *** for a sorry excuse of a  "creator"

I could bare a thousand screams, A thousand wounds, scars and burns.

I could **** a thousand men for a moment in the eyes of god.

What I wouldn't do just to carve a crevice out of the world

Just to show the mark of a mad man craving truth.

Put a knife straight to gods eye if it meant the blood I shed made one less person cry.

I've beg for forgiveness and broken every bond looking for an out.

I've come again trading my soul for a chance for others to hear my shout.

You'll be ok.

My intrinsic value lays waste upon the world
Sweat dripping from my brow
The pen scribbles words that tell truth and lies
That silver tongues are born with hints of gold
That hearts crumble in ash and born again in flame
Using love sparingly upon my prey
Hands begin to bleed with anticipation
The next word could be my last
So I try my best to make it my best
Teaching generations of the thoughts we had
The troubles we faced
Hoping someone comes,
And takes the pen
Dripping ink
Please,
Write.

Poems used to be about the blood spilled
to etch words of heroes of old
The victories made in defeats face
When the dawn was after its darkest
But as time went on
I couldn't remember the things I wrote
But I never let go of the pen knowing
What it was for

Wisdom does not come with age
It ripens the same way a peach does
Wisdom can be plucked in the same way
one would a peach
with both experience
bitterness in hand

lightning blazes its trails in the sky
I wonder where its going.
so soon so fast.
I wonder when you'll get there.
knocking down trees in your path.
I guess you're a lot like us

People blazing a trail on this earth.
I wonder where we'll go
so soon so fast
I wonder when we'll get there.
Knocking down challenges in our path
I guess you're not much like us

When we take the moment and see
That out of the corner of every eye
the image of those who dine on our hearts
Those who swallow our souls
Those thoughts of.
Maybe they're lying
They don't care
No one cares
That's that.