It has been ten dreamlike days,
And nine sleepless nights,
Since I found my father,
So still, his eyes void of light.

Even when my head is foggy,
Whether it be ***** or dope this time,
I find I cannot sleep,
I see you lying there behind my eyes.

Dad I just want to die,
It hurts so ******* much,
And no one understands,
Even the most potent narcotics cannot heal me.

They all expect me to be fine,
But it's been so long since I knew what that word meant.
Now with you gone I'm afraid,
Mom might have to bury me next.

I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep,
Like you did that night all alone.
I wish I'd found you sooner,
I wish I had ******* known.

I know I can't go any time soon,
I promised I'd take care of Elijah.
He's so young he doesn't understand,
Lucky him, he's not the one forced to be a man.

Can't you just come back,
And hug me one last time,
Dad I know I promised,
But there's no way Ill be ******* fine.

With my eyes closed I'd let my hands roam across your skin, reading all your goosebumps like braille.
I'd listen to your body telling me how to respond, speaking with my hands in case my tongue and lips fail.

Nonverbal conversations because actions speak louder, and conversations getting crazy in these late hours.
Speaking yet not speaking. Kisses are breathtaking. Touching. Squeezing. Holding a conversation.

Nervous? I'm searching but i'm still uncertain. Think you can make this heart fulfill its purpose?
Beneath the surface I'm imperfect. Yet on the surface still imperfect. It makes no difference if we pull these curtains.

Let's leave them closed then and stay here. Lay here. Say we're in a race here, but i'm not tryna finish first...

Pillow talk and under covers with these conversations. Before I hit a home run i cover all my bases. ;)

I'm only trying to love myself to make up for me hating me.
I hate the way I hate myself but i just cant escape from me.
Tell myself I'll get it right and I just gotta wait for me,
but me is getting tired, meanwhile I'm just waiting patiently.

Trying to give myself a vision, I'm just trying to make me see,
That happiness is bread and life could really be a bakery.
Got a sweet tooth and negativity is cake to me.
Everybody watching, they just copying and pasting me.

Take the key, I'm trying to lock my thoughts inside a safe with me.
Looking in a mirror just to let myself debate with me.
I just wanna love my life, living, learning gracefully
But how can I uplift myself when all my thoughts are weight to me?

Racing through infinity I'm standing with the Trinity.
Me, Myself, and I, that's a triangle full of enemies.
Me, Myself, and I, in me so tell me where would you hide?
You wanna hear some painful irony? I have to choose sides.

Because I stay fighting myself and hurting me like am I serious?
There ain't enough room in this one body for the three of us.
No we cannot comfort us. Yes it makes us furious.
Screaming to ourselves like, "is anybody hearing us?"

Self inflicted pain. On this shelf I sit in vain.
Telling me about myself cause no one else would think its sane.

When you are not around, I'll look for you
And when you are found I'll snuggle close to you
I'll peck your pouting lips
I'll hold you tight like this
I'll carry you around my back
When your feet's hurting bad
When you are feeling sick, I will tend to you
And when you're feeling cold, I'll be the blanket just for you
I'll bring you water to obey your thirst
I'll be the best among the rest
I'll be the fill when you're feeling lack
Turn your frown around when you're feeling sad

Listen to the lyrics,
Feel the beat,
As it ignites your heart,
And moves your feet.

Listen to the lyrics,
Watch it move your soul,
the sentences you hear,
Give you shivers
Like you've never had before.

Listen to the lyrics,
Let them take you for a ride,
A rollercoaster of emotions,
Run through your mind.

Listen to the lyrics,
And you will see,
It's more than a song with a beat,
It's poetry that can melt your heart,
It's memories and scars,
It's inspiration from deep within,
it's music filled with sin,

Listen to the lyrics,
And you will see,
It's more than a song with a beat.

Your scent circles me
Draining my sanity
Drawing me in with a sirens song
But these urges could never be more wrong

If I were to take one nip
Of your luscious soul
Within but a click
I'd engulf you whole

I hate you, no
That is a lie
I hate that you don't know
You're going to taunt me until the day I die

You're within but a fingers reach
Hidden inside forbidden
The fruit of pure sweet, forever untouched

Fourteen years ago when I held you in my arms, it seemed surreal. So fragile you were and like a tiny doll. Only God knows how much I miss being able to pick you up and hug you tightly close to my heart whenever I feel depressed.
And yet I love you now all the more. You are so special to me and always shall be. Our family has shared so many joys and so much heartbreak through the swiftly passing years.
You are sunshine and daybreak and iridescent rainbow hues.
The baby has been replaced with a very special friend.


Happy Birthday Sweet Daughter!


Much Love,
From Your Mother

My heart she owns that, my everything she has it all, my mind may stray but you know what they say about how home is where the heart is, the gravitational pull towards her, my ****, I cannot stay away, I will not stay away. Nirvanainabottle, my supposed heaven, correctly worded my nirvana, I love you. I ******* love you.

Don't approach a dog unknown to you
Holding out your hand, making eye contact
You may frighten him
Let him come to you

Don't write a poem uninspired
It won't work out
In good time
Let it come to you

Don't go out there seeking love
Like a child with a butterfly net
Live your life
Let it come to you