The Room of Dancing Shadows,
undulating across the wall,
like ****** Persian ballerinas,
making no sound at all.
Reaching, retreating, a mosaic form,
eternally shifting the dark shade.
Pictures of no light in a flux,
remain fragmented, cold, unmade.
Hypnotising, random shapes in black,
swim serenely, start to slide.
The Room of Dancing Shadows
holds its fear deep, deep inside.


© Pagan Paul (03/10/16)

I was trying to show that I'm not like rest,
but I think I only succeeded in boring you to death,
As I can see the lint from you picking at your pockets,
And the burn marks on the same fingertips from sticking them in sockets.

Flowers on headstones.
Vivid colours amongst grey
To brighten the grief.

Everyone seems to be in a dying mood lately
Fragile love stories
And how your hearts were broken

I get it
You want a different kind of love
A different story
Your own fairy-tale
A different happy ending
But

You chose to drown in miser
Suffocate in unspeakable pain
Craving for hate

Then what?

It felt like it was just yesterday
Remember what we used to play?
It was called "Hide and seek"
You always hid as I seek
As we ran all over the place
Sweat covered our entire face
Kids filled with glee
A feeling like you're about to flee

But... But why? *
As time went by
My role stayed the same
But yours didn't and it drove me insane
It seemed harder than before
I couldn't find you in any floor
Although when I do
To all my sadness I say "shoo"
We converse just like before
And end up in a laughing galore

But still... why?
Tell me the reason why now I cry
Again, I remained the same
Oh, what a shame
I'm ok with it as long as it's you
I'm certain, as always, that I'll find you
No matter where you go
No matter how far you go
No matter how skilled you are
No matter how wise you are
I'm sure
Oh, I'm really sure
I'm going to find you
Yes... I am going to find you...
Y-yes...

But where are you now?
I have no idea how
How am I going to find you?
You left with not a single clue
It was indeed gradual
Yet I can't tell if it was intentional
I can't understand your reason
Was this an act of treason?
I wish to find you soon
Are you hiding behind the moon?
Where are you, dear?
Speak up, your voice isn't clear
Or perhaps it is mine
**Because since that day, I've never been fine

As a writer, I learned to dance with
my demons at the typewriter,
and poetry is the song
of the struggle that ended
in an entwined embrace.

To understand,
the different dimensions
that tortures one's soul;
is the reason why I write.
That is the reason for my existence.
That is what freedom means to me.

i am struggling
my sense-seeking mind, reasons
with my confused, but forgiving heart...
to go, or not to go,
to do...or not to do,
go with traditions...or start a change,
to abstain...to be absent,
.............and...be ******

this battle exhausts me...though,
i know...at any time, whatever i do,
especially, this lenten season
God is everywhere, i so feel Him,
He is near me.....as i think of Him...

it doesn't make me less of a Christian
i just have less things to do
this thursday, friday and saturday...
for, i opted for something else:

in my solitude, i would have---

M-ORE time...........to reflect.....to
E-NGAGE in contemplative thoughts...to be strong, to
A-VOID all kinds of meat i so hunger for....to not be
T-ROUBLED, when tremors of the soul, seek to destabilize...

I know myself...i've come this far,
traditions may change, things may falter,
but, never...my Faith in Him.....


Sally


Copyright April 14, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

and i feel myself breaking everytime i talk to you
wake up crying, go to sleep crying, mad at myself
for trying to believe im something to you or a factor
that influences your fleeting thoughts and actions during the day
are you sleeping on me? sky goes colossal over my head
and the sun exposes the long lost footprints trekking
to the wrong places i strayed to, and you can map them all out