There'd be no need to bleed
a pen of its ink
if only I had the ability 
to decipher what I think.

Stop blaming yourself
When life did you wrong.

I'm entertained by the thought of talking to myself
I haven't yet met a mind as perfect for me
as, well, me
and maybe an imaginary friend wouldn't go amiss
in this whirlwind of loneliness and
mindless stimuli.
I'm busy constantly, on my phone,
studying,
sleeping,
playing an instrument,
'quiet time' is only when I'm with other people
because I can go on autopilot
and alone is when I think too fast for speaking or writing
alone is when my mind fades into white noise
alone is when the walls don't feel like walls.
I'm entertained by the thought of talking to myself
because I need someone with me,
especially when there's no one there,
because that's the worst time for proper thinking;
-I'm always distracted, never-focused-
other people focus me.
other people are the magnifying lens, the bounce-off,
alone is terrifying so I avoid it by stimulating my mind
with pointless ****,
while talking to myself would
probably be more productive.
I'm entertained by the thought of talking to myself,
because that way,
I'd never have to be alone.

Every night I'm here in this place. This house makes me feel scared, alone, afraid. What am I afraid of? Why do I feel alone? Who am I scared of? Questioned myself all of these questions that appear in my thoughts, sometimes I think someone else can hear my thoughts. I can feel someone in my thoughts, and I can feel their thoughts. We can hear eachother thoughts in this strange way. I will be OK. Someone told me that I'm OK and that I will be OK. Am I OK? I am in this room. I'm trapped, walked myself right into it and I didn't know it till now. Its just something I see. Complicating writing, or talking about whatever, haven't really spoken to anyone.

My mind is ******....

The raised skin of the scars on her wrist catches your eye. You say that you’re sad for her. But how can you be? All you do is make fun of her. You have your entire life. Followed her with insults and hurt. Suddenly you’re sorry? After making her feel like a freak all of her life? After telling her to **** herself? Now that she is taking your advice you’re sorry? How can you be sorry of your own work? Admire you’re work, dear friend. Admire your sick work.

Can't i **** ....your ....Mind?
I promise to go deeper than anybody that came before me. If I give you the gift of mental stimulation , only thing I ask in return is your loyalty.
It's been a minute since you met somebody that wanted to get in your head before they wanted to feel the rest of you
It's been even longer since you fell in love with somebody before they fell in love with having *** with you. I want to see what you look like when you're naked . I want to be so deep and wide that you're willing to testify before god that with everybody else you let inside your walls , you must have been faking it.
When is the last time you had a conversational ******?
The kind that has you redecorating my place while you're at  work, picking out color schemes and floor patterns
Can we eat each other?
I want to swallow your dreams and quench your thirst for greatness with my motivation of your ambitions.
I want to feed your fears with my consistency. All I ask in return is that on your way home from work you stop and pick up some new positions.

i sleep with a bomb under my bed

cut the blue wire
cut the red

(tick tock)

i can't live with this bomb anymore

i'm so hurt
i'm so sore


i cut my red veins
i cut the blue


it was going to end like this

i always knew

Baby now don't you stare at me
Than I've to rip open your lovely brown eyes
That's good 'cause you won't be able to see
The sharp blade that will kiss you goodbye


Now go and fetch me an axe
Give it to me behind the flowers where i hide
I will cut open and i will slash
Scream your name until the moment you die


You're so beautiful but i think you need some scars
So the old mirror won't feel so pretty
Let me rip open your soul and pull out your heart
So i can rid you of only part that's ugly


I think I'm in love with you
I don't think i can take this moment anymore
I know what i want to do
To stab you a thousand times and than some more


Now baby come here don't you cry
I'll drink your tears when they're mixed in your blood
I will smile and tell you my every lie
While the ceiling drips with red while you hang above


Why do you always have to hate
Every broken bone that i try to show to you
I know it's too sudden but i can't wait
Let me strangle you in your early morning blues

I will impale your corpse on the wall
So i would never ever forget your beautiful face
I'll dress you in the finest of them all
And make you wear a collar which will have your name


I really want to cut you open inside and out
So i can see for myself if the beauty was only skin deep
You'll be dead no matter how much you shout
Don't worry about the rest of us no one will weep


There is not much on my mind
All i can think about are the ways to gift you pain
hope it hurts less when you're blind
I'm not a monster but maybe i think I'm deranged