is life even worth living?
because i can’t name a single reason to live
but I can name a thousand reasons to die

My words aren't so deep
They only reach a river's depth

Yet when you write
It's like I'm out by the sea
Your words are layers
Under the earth's soil

I only achieve to describe a tree's leaf
You'll write out the roots

I'm your porcelain doll
Hoping I won't fall

Being with you is like
Dreaming in a dream

You couldn't get any better to me

I don't want to come down from your love

Heart stops

Let me fall

It's warm, and happy, and it's so bright
It makes you feel with your whole body
and brings only the light

When it's there you feel happy, young, and brand new
you want it to last forever, but even forever is too soon
It's this intense feeling that you never ever knew
and it's shown through people, wanting to spoon

And everyone around you has it and everything is so great
you're so happy for them , they've all taken the bait

Because now they're all ready to feed into lies
and they'll **** and they'll ****** till everyone dies
they'll watch as the blood drip drip drips out their eyes
like tears, but heavier, and filled with their crimes                              

But don't worry, this is what they wanted, and this is what they deserve
they left you there to rot and didn't care about your serve
So why does it hurt so bad, watching them all fall apart?
Like dominoes, stacked together, that were not ready to part              
                                              ­                                      

I don't understand this awful feeling, deep in my chest
Why am i hurting, when I wanted this?

And i know now, but by now it's too late
I'M the one, that fed them the bait
They were all so happy, and everything was so fine
but i couldn't stand to see all of them shine                            
                               ­                             
So instead I let the devil fill me with hate
and thus let my jealousy put my heart through the stake.

We are two together.
Your touch. My voice. Our scent.
You run your hands up my hip, my side, the edge of my breast, and finally they land, and tighten on my neck.
And my pulse thrills and quickens.
You move within me and my body comes alive.
Lightening fills my veins when I feel the sting of the pull of your hand at my hair.
And my heart beats within my chest. Molten flows from my body.
And all that escapes from my lips is a light moan. A gasp. A whisper of a breath.
Sweetness.

How can I tell you
That if it weren't for the distance
That I'd want to try again?
How can I tell you
That I still love you and I miss you
When I know you deserve better?
How do I sit with this feeling
Loving you so much but hurting still
Because I can't think of how it could work out?
You could do so much better
Without my complications in your life
Because part of me wants to try again
But the rest is afraid to know it could fail
I don't know how to tell you these things
Because I know it could make it worse
You're working on moving on
And I don't know what a poly future looks like
I can't make any promises
And I can't think of how we would be
Because distance is hard
And poly is hard
Love is hard
But is it worth it?

Lost and out of place
Fueled by my feelings
Not sure of my purpose
But I feel for you

I want to write you something
But these words are never enough
Your perfect smile
And your complex eyes
The immense connection existing in
The space between us

I am limited by this language
And as a writer
That's frustrating as hell

I saw it in her eyes
She was going to leave
*But she didn’t know it yet