they say that they want

S I M P L I C I T Y

but all they want is the

D R A M A

they tell me that they're

R E A L

but quite honestly I know they're

F A K E

i know its too late by now
mainly because of the clock and how i feel
i know i have wasted away
i have wasted away everything i once had
and now i'm stuck
reading over that script in my head
the script on how i was going to win you over
and yet you didn't say the right words
so i kept playing by the rules
and you kept playing by yours
oh, what kind of fool am i?
i am falling in love with someone who loves another
yet when he looks at me
i question whether or not he even cares for the other
i leave this thought in my hands
pondering at it till its mush and nonsense
this is why i am awake
because he is on my mind and i cant help it
all i want to do is think about him
and so i have to pull back
i know better than this
and he probably does too
but he still compliments me
and smiles brightly
every single time he walks in the room my heart stops
he sends shivers down my spine
he gives me goosebumps
he makes my heart skip a beat
everything about him is magic and i don't know why
so here we are again
with me blabbering on about some forsaken love
while he's probably sleeping with a girl he loves
and i cant help it
i think to myself
maybe this is all a mistake...what am i even doing?


then all he has to do is walk in the door again
my heart skips its beat

the sudden shiver of emotions, thoughts, words, pictures, actions
      its all so
overwhelming
I
cant
take
it
!
it's too much for anyone to ever understand
it's too much for me to understand
not even friends understand what it feels like to walk into an unfamiliar room and almost lose your breath as you try to remain calm without screaming and running out in a sudden burst to try and collect the pieces you left sitting outside that doorway
so please, i ask you just to listen
I don't know your sympathy
i just need your compliance

for DeAtra

my dear
dont you see? people chase things
hoping their grasp is long enough
to reach the stars floating above their heads
and they all keep looking up
missing the real adventure right in front of them
dont loose yourself catching stars
loose yourself and become a star