There will be a morning
Like all the rest
When you turn over and open heavy lids
As you exit slumber you are startled
Because you are alone

You fell asleep alone
Yet you will be surprised
You call out, remembering the lives that once mingled with yours
They can be heard calling back
But they are not calling back to you

You lay in your nest
Wondering how all the birds flew away
When you've barely hatched

I choke and I panic
Because you can't love me
I claw at the windows of my soul hoping to break one
This stagnant air is suffocating
My prayers are that you aren't the tornado I fear you to be
******* up the remaining parts of me
Spin me around and spit me out
This is what attention is about
No validation
Only violation
Imploding expectations of the girl advertised
She is not the same as the prisoner inside
You can't love me, self
You never will

Dark eyes make me melt

Light eyes pull me in

Brown eyes are my weakness

Blue eyes are my sin

Take it
where I cannot go
Take it
where I cannot follow
Bury it
in the ground,
far below
where it can't be found

Burn it, Lord
all to ash
Pick me up
like shattered glass
Find the pieces
here in me
Take me, now
and crucify me

Because I can't do this
on my own
You know that
You've seen that
You see this
You see me now
in the ground,
dying,
not breathing,
lying far beneath,
and grasping
just for air to breathe

Well this dirt on me
has made me see
exactly what I need

So take it, Lord,
all away
Wake me up
to a brand new day
I'm holding up
a yoke of shame
Replace it, God
Don't leave me the same

This load's too much
for me to bear
You see the Truth
in every tear
But I can't turn,
so please come here
And take me to a place
where I can look You in the face
And feel the comfort of your Grace
Because

I long to crucify this sin
I hope that You will take me in
I want to take it
to the grave,
throw it down,
and be remade
(I've tried, I've tried, I've tried)
But I can't do it,
not alone

So I ask You now,
please,
once and for all,
to intercede
for me
I’m asking You, Lord,
please,
just *take it

We
  Are star dust
You
   And I
Amidst
The bliss
Of this
Endless
Sky
Entities
Of energy
Striving
To survive
Truly
We are blessed
At best
To be alive
   We
Are star dust
   You
And I
Amidst
The bliss
Of this
Endless
Sky


I'm ever greatful
& Oh so thankful
That you
And I'd collide

I exhale
  & watch
As you go
  The essence of me
Caught on the window
   A constellation
      Of condensation
       & I trace your name
    Bleeding the meaning
Of true window pane

i've spoken and i've lost them
the words that tied me together are fraying
i've been asked to stand up straight
to perform onstage
to forget my fears, even though these years
have been so tough,
i've always felt like i'm never enough
and you seem to urge me on so you can
badmouth me all night long

i have not yet found a book that called it something other than cutting ties;

but in my head it is simply removing the paper band aids that connect me to other people, what i do best.

the city lights blink at me with the intensity of one looking to the person that abandoned them
in the face of these people, all I'm able to do is bow my head
and
surrender.