These are not the flowers I thought I would be buying,
These are not roses for the girl I wed.
These flowers bear a message of condolence
Who knew I would be buying these instead?

The time was short from your first diagnosis
until the morning when you met your end.
Now comes the tears of selfishness and mourning;
the pain that comes with losing a true friend.

Februaries in New York are bleak
when winter lingers on without an end.
“It’s a great life if you never weaken.”
I recall that’s what you always said.

We stand on frozen ground at Calvary
after three days spent on folding chairs.
Each of us drop a flower of remembrance
as the Padre mutters solemn prayers.

You never had a child of your own body
or devoted spouse to mourn your final breath.
Your nieces and your nephews now surround you.
Of your generation now none are left.

Water filled eyes
Tear stricken face
Mascara running all over the place

Trembling hands
Vermilion drained heart
Shriveled up soul, ripped apart.

Solid enough, a single tug
Unravels each strand
As a woven rug.

Weakened and empty
Failed once again
Never enough to fight through the end.

Prickling fear
Climbs down the spine
Paralyzing each victim that it can find.

Locked in a ruthless, icy cold clutch
Struggling for air, but the suffering is too much.

That boy has got rhythm...
                            *'cause he hums every-time he is blue

When you crash into the depths of hell
It's only natural that
You scream, you cry, you hurt,
You burn.

And it's only natural
That it takes you awhile
To get used to the flames licking
Around your feet,
As you finally admit defeat.
It's only natural
That it take you a while,
To learn how to smile,
As you burn around the edges
And sometimes your very core.
It's only natural
That you cannot walk before you crawl
And that you cannot fly
Unless you risk the fall
Risk it all.

It's only natural that
As much as it scolds, eventually
You'll learn how to handle the heat
That you'll adjust and trust
Eventually you'll get used to the pain
And learn how to sustain and attain
Normality again,
As you take one step and then another
As you learn to
Place one foot in front of the other
Walking with the scars
You thought would never heal.
It's only natural, to hurt, to feel,
That's what makes us human,
What makes us real.

Sober thoughts crowd my mind
Happiness I cannot find
Gloomy weather, gloomy mind

Black bile, one of the archaic humours
Rhyming aptly with tumours
Cancerous thoughts within my mind

Pensively I look for salvation
Maybe a cheery salutation
But my melancholic mind keeps me as a brooder

I vent my spleen, searching for the vaccine
Annoyance acting as a screen for the truth
That all I want to do is scream and scream and scream.