I don't know what to write about anymore
because you haven't held my hands to stop them from shaking in almost 2 months.
You used to ask "whats wrong?" when you saw that my nails were getting short and now you don't even call.
You say, "Everything I've ever known has left me." as if I was never there in the first place.
I know you won't say it, but I know she borrows your clothes
and I think its messed up that I saw her wearing the shirt I bought you last Christmas.
You told me to move on because it would help me but you already know I break everything I touch so I'm scared to move anything because I might touch someone's heart.
I remember when you denied everything we ever had because it's hard to own up to having feeling for someone nobody wants.
They told you in your calculus class to solve the problems but I promise you they weren't talking about me.

How am I supposed to understand
the demons that trail your shadow
when I can't even quiet mine?

There I was,
smiling with out you,
breathing regular,
a good size,
in my eyes.
I was effortlessly exuding
my freedom,
with my two close friends,
Will and Power.

Not even the next hour,
there you were,
poisoning my flow,
with words,
I didn't think you would even know.

What a good hook,
that must have been,
because if you look,
I am back in your nook.
Back in the  position.
Back in your lap,
turning back the pages,
to this dramatic book.

If only I didn't have these memories.

One day,
They are gonna hurt you in such a beautiful way.
After that happens,
You'll get my sadness.

Then you'll understand,
Why hurricanes
Are named after people
And why you are still my favorite storm.

How is it,
That a mere thought
Cuts deeper
Than the sharpest blade?

And how is it,
That the sight of you
Hurts more
Than the deepest cut?

I dig a hole in myself
and fill it with words