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 Sep 2014
Towela Kams
Would you listen to me if I said I've once been deceived to believe
That I was born to be chained and never freed ?
Born to be
A laughing stock to my haters
A stepping stone for my oppressors
A naïve girl to my betrayers

What if I told you that at the age of 5,
I wanted to die ?
That because of my past, I wanted to commit suicide ?
I remember being in the kitchen, holding tight a knife
Then I heard a voice within me scream, "It's not your time!"

Would you take my advice if I asked you to pray ?
And if you do it with a contrite spirit,
Angels will come your way ?
And if you do it with consistency,
Your blessings won't delay ?
And if you do it with humility,
Your soul will be saved ?
I've had my fair share of dissapointments, setbacks, betrayals, back-stabbing, manipulation, oppression and deception. I found my way, and it's only right that I help others find theirs.
 Sep 2014
SøułSurvivør
This scripture was taken from the chapter
of the Bible where Jesus was dealing with
the greatest hypocrites to ever walk the
earth. This is from Matthew Chapter 23.

Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that
which is within the cup and platter,
that the outside of them may be clean also.
Matthew 23:26 KJV


I was an alcoholic.
I drank 'till I was blue.
I liked the feeling of *******,
I was an addict, too.

I was raised an atheist
Disallowed from church
So my spirituality
Was really in the lurch.

I knew there was an answer
that wasn't in the buzz
I just really didn't know
what that answer WAS.

I tried to do TM.
I went overboard, you see.
I even tried the SRF
and Scientology.

I went to many programs
Treatments and AA.
Rehabs by the score
the pain did not go away.

Finally I found one day
a precious little book.
Someone left it on a bike stand
I went to have a look.

It was a LITTLE BIBLE!
Just the book of John
I went to read the scripture
of the page that it was on.

Someone opened it on purpose
to what I read right then,
how Jesus took some deckhands
to be fishers of men.

I had a funny feeling
like someone touched my arms
I broke out in goose flesh
though the day was warm!

I decided to try Jesus.
Church two times a week.
I guess it was just a prelim
for what I was to seek.

I never did find Jesus
in the sanctuary there.
Some had base hypocrisy -
I was in despair!!!

But I did recieve
something of great worth
I learned to read the Bible
the greatest book on earth.

So one day I was writing
a poem... imagine that!
I found what I'd been missing
right there as I sat!

In this poem I spoke about
how an addict came apart
cried out to our Savior
and
ASKED HIM IN HER HEART!

That time there weren't just goose bumps
I knew I wasn't saved!
It was like an elephant
had walked across my grave!

I went outside to smoke.
I was 3 months clean.
But I still smoked cigarettes
If you know what I mean.

A nagging voice buzzed in my ear
you're just a stupid joke.
You still drink your filthy beer
and on top of that you smoke!


Well. I was sure considering that
and other things as well.
I figured if I used again
I could end the hell.

I would go there anyway!
Wasn't that a cinch?
But another voice came to me
it's power made me flinch!

It said, yes, you smoke your cigarettes
and that isn't good,
but the ******* makes you do evil
is that understood?

So break those filthy cigarettes
I'll show you. You'll break free.
Flush them down the toilet
then come talk to me.

Well, I didn't argue.
I did just as He said.
Then I asked Him

in     my
HEART
and
v

prepared myself for bed.

But as I did lie there
I felt like, I don't know,
like things were hanging onto me
and did not want to go!


But I fell deeply asleep.
Because go they did
they were things demonic.
Inside me they had hid.

When I rose the next morning
I felt so rested... GOOD!
I wanted just to sing!
Wake the neighborhood!

I went outside to see
if I had not thrown away
all of the long cigarette butts
for a puff or two that day.

I found out something else.
It was really wierd!
All cravings for those cigarettes
HAD JUST DISAPPEARED!!!

And there were a lot of things
quite different about me.
I had been delivered.

JESUS SET ME FREE!!!


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 18, 2014
I was delivered from all my
addictions that night.

But, more importantly,
Jesus Christ was in my heart.
And I have never been the same.

I cried for fifteen minuets
after I realized what had happened.

TEARS OF PURE JOY!!!
 Sep 2014
SøułSurvivør
Where is the wraith of
inspiration?
Where does the flow
Consciousness abide?
Where is the fulsome fire
of thought?
Where in the human mind
does it reside?

Words, like motes of dust,
float free in air,
but how does one get
the ideas, poet's
flare?

Ah! The motes hid from light!
It is not odd,
They are the
      *unconsciousness
                          the light of

                                            GOD
This is the best way I can describe
The inspiration of the word.
They float in the light of our
Conscious mind, but there are
Others not exposed to that light
Yet we use them. I believe these
Are the ideas divinely inspired.
 Sep 2014
SøułSurvivør
Roots ain't pretty
But without them
there would be no flowers



SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 27, 2014
If I hadn't been through all I did
I wouldn't have the compassionate
insight that I have now.
I'm glad my past had some dirt.
A plant needs soil to grow.
 Sep 2014
eunsung aka Silas
still awake
yet my body
longs for sleep

thoughts are
rushing in and
not slowing down

the more I try
to sleep I
am more awake

I am sleepless
not because I
am full of fear

I can't sleep
because my heart
is brimming with love

I am filled
with anticipation of
love yet to come
 Sep 2014
rained-on parade
It was not in the road
that took me there
but the way my heart
always remained the same
rushing through college corridors,
open dissection tables,
woodwork poetry breathren.

Indestructible construction
of these cerebral plates
left me the mind of a surgeon
and the heart of a poet.

In the cold operating room
they cut open his chest-
blood gushing out and I could
see why sometimes a little hurt
could cause a lot of noise.
Ventricle, atrium.
A nick that ricocheted,
a word that spelled
goodbye.

There was a rhythm in his heart
and for once I could feel
synchronicity was never so beautiful;
almost teary-eyed
I could find those verses
lost between the veins,
quietude pumping out slowly.

Lost in the mistranslation
of his chest
till the nurse said

"Doctor, your patient's dying"
My mistranslated life.
 Sep 2014
ryn
Doom train hurtling along
Through the fog in my mind
Towing freight, rectangular and oblong
Dim headlights, you're travelling blind

Five carriages long, excluding engine and caboose
Metal against metal, spitting sparks on steel
Undetermined path, rails will choose
Chugging along on dirt covered wheels

In the cabin, I see the light
Emanating from your furnace
Swallowing up coals in your gaping bite
Tongues of flames licking the surface

Fire breathing, spewing thick black smoke
Almost unseen, against the dark of night
A long plumy arm as if extending to choke
And plug the remaining sources of light

Meandering precariously on tracks that weave
Over uncharted, unfathomable terrain
Your store, so reliably you heave
Worming your way through my brain

What's in that cargo of yours?
What lies within those boxcars?
What drives you to diligently run your course?
What fuels you to travel near and far?

Loads of self pity, self loathing and self reproach
Snaking your way to an unknown destination
Screeching brakes as if a stop you approach
Herald the train of dubious intentions

Light is upon you, dark will dissipate
Your plumes starting to lessen from your stack
The dawn breaking horizon you didn't anticipate
To see another charging towards you on this very same track...
See "Light Train"
See "Collision Course"
 Sep 2014
SøułSurvivør
Give me a
scathing frown
anytime
over an
insincere compliment!


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 27, 2014
I'm not the one to practice
your backhand on.
I don't play.
Not saying anyone here.
You all are awesome!
I'm just sayin'
 Sep 2014
Towela Kams
This is for the girl who saw the stars in the darkness
She took a mid-night walk to gaze at the beauty behind the dark skies,
She embraced this particular time of day
While we pay too much attention.. To the time..
It's time that limits our dreams, and makes us focus on our fears..
It's the time that brings out the best in our weaknesses and forces us into panic mode, no hope for the best.
There is no hope in a mind that finds comfort in time-consciousness
Because you see.. While we're pacing up and down and round and round
Going about our lives, meeting deadlines,  making ends meet..
This girl is gazing at the beauty of the stars
She doesn't focus on the darkness that is of majority around that bright star she centres her eyes on
The negativity is present but she can't see it
She doesn't see anything else
She has her mind set on one thing
She has her gaze fixed directly before her
She spends winter nights, summer nights looking at the stars
She sees hope
She sees favour
She sees grace
And the only reason she's able to put her worries aside is because she has a sound mind
She has her problems, of course, but her meditation has had her manipulated into peace
She's happy
She used to dream happiness
Now she lives peace
Unaware of the surroundings of this star she has her mind on, she begins to look at herself much as she looks at the star
She's alone
She's shinning bright
But nobody takes notice
She digs deeper
She's shinning bright
Even when no one takes notice
She says to herself, "I shine bright like the stars, I shine bright like the beautiful stars. Let these people go about their busy lives, making ends meet, depending on their strengths and having their weaknesses get the better of them. Their afraid because they can't trust in God. Their fears reveal where they trust God the least. But this is who I am, this is what I'm born for. This is God's plan for me."
I think, people think negatively about so many things. There's also a majority of people around that usually put pressure on us do do certain things e.g get married before you're ready and so on. Sometimes we live for people and feel like if we don't live up to their standards and don't achieve certain things at the time that they want us to [due to lack of resources] then we're failures. But that's hardly the case. God's time is the best. And just like a star, shinning, despite the dark, quite skies that surround it, we will shine. In this dark world, we will shine.
 Sep 2014
Muggle Ginger
If my life is just
The dream of some god
I hope he remembers
            me
When he wakes up
 Sep 2014
Ashleigh Black
I wrote you a letter
with tears and spilled ink
saying how I felt
writing all my fears;
that piece of parchment
holds all my secrets
it knows all my hiding places
and I was willing to show you
in hopes that you'd stay.
 Sep 2014
Wordsmith
Words do not get attention
But the feelings behind them do
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