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Muggle Ginger Mar 2018
Depression means
I don’t swim in the ocean anymore
Because I’ve spent days drowning
In my own bed

Depression means
I don’t hug people anymore
Because every time I let go
I feel guilty for letting go
Too soon
Or too late

Depression means
I am difficult to love
Because I need you to be with me
But not too close or too long
But don’t stay away
Because I get lonely but also
Need isolation because I’m an introvert
Because my love language
Says I like receiving gifts
But whenever I get a gift
I feel like a burden
And I’m not worth whatever you paid for this
Because I have put a cost on myself
On my happiness
On my mind
Because anything more than $75 an hour
Won’t get me a return on my therapy investment
Because I sometimes see myself in the mirror
And wish I could disappear

Depression means
Life and death don’t feel all that different
Because they’re both ******* terrible options
Muggle Ginger Feb 2018
I am not a Phoenix waiting for rebirth
I am a silly boy dressed in feathers
thinking that Mardi Gras could bring me joy
I am not trying to disguise a part of me
I am trying to become something new entirely
Muggle Ginger Jan 2018
You will find no cross
There will be no stone
On the side of the road
On your way back home
Muggle Ginger Jan 2018
The blurry world in my eyes
My flimsy knees like grain of rye
Open mouth and silly yawn
Snap my fingers and I’m gone
Muggle Ginger Nov 2017
The the night stars
Spin around the sky
Like thoughts of you

You can have the poems
And the taco
Don’t you deserve them both?

Like knowing you are a queen
Forever and tonight in my eyes
I hold my hands in prayer
To be able to see you

Poems are words and emotions too
Please see them together
I need to say these things to you

I don’t have the word
For how cute i think you are
You smile is something in my heart

Please don’t cry because
I’m not there to dry your tears
Grab the blanket and be happy
Don’t cry
I want to feel your skin again
Muggle Ginger Aug 2017
It's okay to close your eyes
I will see you through the night
And the world will come crawling
But I am here; you will be alright

So lay your soul into bed
I know your days have felt so long
Like the weight of worlds is yours to hold
I hope your dreams come with this song

It's okay to be afraid
I know the world is ****** up for you
But baby you have angels
My God and these angels, we will get you through
Muggle Ginger Feb 2017
stories can be poems
and this is a story
but when i call it a story
i mean i hope it has an ending
because when i found out i might have cancer
all i could think about was that end
the post-****** descent into
nothing
final full stop
no more pages
no more breath
because they say beauty is
in the eye of the beholder
and my eyes are
magnificent
malignant
my detriment
pop a piece of spearmint
because when you think you'll die
but you don't want people
to feel bad for you
you tell them only the good news
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