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 Dec 2018 Ceida Uilyc
Justin
I'm not going back
Just to take your parts
I'm not going back
Only to fix myself

I'm back here
To help tend your parts
I'm back here
To help fix the damage

I'm not here to take
I'm here to help
I don't know about a reset button, but I'm here to face demons
Look not down the road hoping that I will come

I am placing down the final words and then I will be done

I will board the ship and it's sails will be unflung ,

as I follow my destiny into the last rays of the sun

With much more than reluctance I turn now to go

Chuckling to myself , I did put on a good show

As all good things will come to an end,

win , lose or draw I will miss most of all

all of my dear friends
I knew I was in "purgatory"
I couldn't make up  all the grade/s
Didn't really matter much
My pocketknife had a  broken blade

The "I's" are ever on you
No one hears or cares to understand
The questions put before them
Are lost to time by sand

So fling the words before me
My pearls before the swine
The path placed as pure adjectively
While you sit and mull your time

There was my life before me
In the parking lot of life
A beat up old "63" Rambler
With the "Club" attached  to the steering wheel of strife
The sun sets,
But I lay awake,
Thinking about the last few days...
I wonder what it means?
Is it all in my head?

Replaying our conversations,
Thinking about your smile.
So many questions,
Not enough answers.

I wait for tomorrow,
Hoping to see you soon.
Waiting for another chance,
To be besides you.

The simple things you do
Mean the world to me.
Most people would overlook them,
But not me.

Hopefully you'll notice,
See how similar we are.
Notice our connection,
And give it a try.

Stop being oblivious,
Realize the signs...
I know you feel it too,
You don't need to compromise.

We can talk for hours,
From the simple to complex.
We don't have to do anything,
And be together all night.

You're so confusing,
Give me a sign.
Tell me there's something ..
Or if im waisting my time...
Let's take a minute,
Look at yourself in the mirror.
Look at your eyes,
do they shine?
Does your smile look straight?
Are your ears too wide?
Is your nose too big?

Move down a bit.
Your neck to thick?
Too many sunspots?
Adequate chest size?

Now look at your body.
Do I have enough curves?
Big enough hips?
Tiny waist?

No matter what I see,
Someone will find a flaw.
It doesn't matter how much weight I gain
Or how much I lose...
How much plastic surgery I have,
They are never satisfied.

Does it matter what they think?
Can you live your life without them?
Why not love yourself,
And see how that goes.

Self love is important,
You are all you got.
Before you can love someone else,
You must love yourself.

Someday someone will love you,
For your quirks and kinks.
They'll call you beautiful,
And forget about your flaws.

You deserve more than a second glance.
Someone will come your way.
Be patient and love yourself
You don't know who will come your way.
This fire inside,
Burns deep within my soul.
It leaves ashes behind,
Of the love we once knew.
The memories that once were,
Fade like a dream..
As if it had never happened...
Just like you never existed.

But you were once here.
I laid in your arms,
Kissed those lips,
And fell for your heart.
What is left is not enough,
I'll keep begging for more.

I know there's no use,
You'll never return.
My soul will keep searching,
Missing the other half that was you.
Wishing you'd have stayed,
Or loved me once more.

I can't remember you're face,
Can't picture your smile.
Imagine your kisses,
Or remember your laughter.

You walked away much sooner
Than you came,
I don't blame you at all.
Next time I think of you,
I'll just see stars.

Your face is fading,
Your hold on my heart too,
However, my love for you burns on,
Even as ash hits the floor.
The ash eventually piles up,
Comes together as one.
Builds itself up, and return once more.

I loved you once,
And still continue to do.
But I'll continue to burn,
If I get to close to you.
The fire will live,
Like a somber candlelight.
As long as I don't feel or touch
Everything will be alright.
 Apr 2018 Ceida Uilyc
Anastasia
If I were a scientist
I’d build a time machine
So I could stop time and not have to wake up with the weight of our memories on my chest in the morning.
I’d build a time machine
So that I could go back to the day we met and take a different way home.
I’d build a time machine
So I could go back to the day you wanted to leave, and I’d let you walk away instead.
I’d build a time machine
So that I could kiss you one last time
So that I could wake up to you one last time
So that I could feel your love one last time
I’d build a time a machine
So that I could skip ahead to the day that you are just a memory. The day that I won’t remember the taste of your lips, and what color your bedroom walls were. I’d skip to the day that I don’t love you anymore, and it doesn't hurt to wake up in the morning.
I wish I never met you
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