It shone so brightly when you first left.
I took it as a sign, a sign that you are fine.
I guess it still makes me think of you.
It's completely irrational, I know.
Maybe that's just my way of trying to let you go.
Let you go into your new eternity.
Sometimes, when there's a rainbow,
The brightness suggests how you feel.
In fact, I think I'm looking right at you now.
And you see me, all that I am doing.
I'm making more of it than science would suggest,
But this irrational comfort is exactly that - a comfort.
A coping mechanism for life. For hope. For love.

As the waves rattle
Into tomorrow's likeness
I know we'll be fine

I knew I didn't fit in.
I knew I wouldn't.
But I never though it could be like this.
I'm not me.
I find myself singing songs without their meaning.
Hearing but not listening.
Understanding but not applying.
Seeking but not feeling.
And I don't like it.
You've changed me and I have no control.
Nothing makes the same sense it once did.
How can I go back?
This change within me is confusing
Although, I guess it's slightly satisfying.
Knowing that there's nothing I can do.
Rebelling without a motive.
Following the crowd, trying to fit in.
Seeing a normality I could strive towards.
Maybe it'll become easier, I won't have to think anymore.
I'll put my faith into something bigger.
Something better.
Knowing I have something to put my faults on.
To remove my guilt and impose a new hope.
Hope for a better life.
A life where I can simply exist and be.
A life where I can escape the pain of thoughts.

Lightning strikes silently strobe
Until the raindrops rave on the rooftops
And the thunder produces it's thick deep rumble.
The size of the world increases and suddenly you're left, a new perspective developing.
You've survived the lifetime of a million tears and clouds.
A thousand worlds, starting and ending in your presence.
The world shrinks again.
Back to a human reality with questions beyond knowing.
Goodbye storm, til tomorrow's darkness where you'll strike again.

I'll start from the beginning, where I first heard of you.
I could dream of meeting, but I didn't think it would come true.
Happily we arranged, but sadly you declined,
And now I don't know what to do.

I used to write you letters, and hope you would reply.
Sometimes in life it's not as we expect, I didn't think it would be like this.
I imagined myself calling, smiling at the thought with cold aspirations,
But now I don't know what to do.

And as you lay there, still as can be,
I knew we could never truly meet.
Maybe in another life I could keep you safe.
But just for now I'll watch from here and hold on to the idea of hope.

Moving further on with life is sometimes harder than it seems,
Especially when you start to question "what does life really mean?"
I'll tell you now, from my experience, you never really know.
What you have is meaningless until you have to let it go.

Right now I am living. I am doing what I love.
I know people that make me feel things. Hatred. Love. Anxiety. Calmness.
With every moment that occurs I know I am alive. I am.
My heart is beating.
I can think.
I can breathe.
I can live.
I do.

The difference is dying.
Right now I am dying. Still, I am doing what I love.
I am spending time with the people who make me feel. Love. Hatred. Calmness. Anxiety.
With every minute that passes I know it cannot be repeated. Because I am dying.
My heart is beating.
I can think.
I can breathe.
I can live.
For now.

But I will die.
The world is not made of my time.
Life is made of lots of smaller times, all different sizes.
My time is uncertain, as uncertain as yours.
I cannot change this. You cannot change this.
Only time will ever know.

Without a set pace you spin around and again.
Drawing a staggered wave on the floor as you go.
Generating the power to live
And to breathe
And to move
And to be.
The power so needed long ago, make the most of it now.
Generate the love you wanted to feel.

Your pace is quickening, the world becomes a haze, darting before your eyes.
Pale fingertips reaching out to touch the thin air, slicing straight through.
Intricate patterns being formed in your hair as it struggles to keep time with your mind.
Faster still, life is a blur, trying to live with you as you leave it behind.
Falling slowly to the ground.
Heart beating faster yet not at all in one moment.
An excitement you cannot relive.
A life too lived it cannot be returned.