Learn to love the flaws,

And just take a look and pause,

For your body is beauty,

Even if only you see.



You may not see it now,

But you must take a bow,

For your body is music,

And you play it acoustic.



Run you hands across your thighs,

And listen to the sighs,

For your body is a work of art,

And you know it by heart.



Take the breaths you need,

For self-hate is just the seed.

Let go of the doubt you feel,

So  you can finally heal.

my pills smell like a hospital
this bookstore smells like my grandma
the faint reminiscence of old memories
cloud the only five senses I own.
I start to wonder if this life is becoming idle
if this IV lining my arms is broken again.
If I have enough will to stay.
These pills smell like a hospital-
and I'm worried you will find me there someday
withered from this world I can't tolerate enough to stay.
But these pills seem to help me stay.
Remind me why I'm alive-
this smell reminds me to stay away.
When the blade calls my name I don't listen anymore
when you call my name I don't listen anymore
I've been seeing your face too often
and not hearing my own voice enough.
I start to think nostalgia and you share the same interests
like you both started a google drive document
and shared the file with me and now it's all I see.
You can edit my life for me
and no matter what I continue to write
you change the font
and reformulate my sentences.
I wish I didn't exist.
Then I smell my grandma in this empty bookstore
and feel the pages against my fingers again.
I'm here whether I like it or not.
You were here whether I like or not.
Paying too much attention to madness
and not enough to bliss
I take up too much time thinking
and not enough doing.
25mg isn't enough anymore
and each time the clock strikes 9
my mind likes to contemplate quitting you.
But I smell the hospital again
convince myself to stay away from that place.
The pill hits my tongue and travels down my throat.
I don't think anymore.
I don't want to know.
I am home-
here in this bookstore
with the smell faintly touching my nostril
with the pills lining my nose
with you writing me apology notes
that sound too **** familiar.
I wish to erase you from my retinas.
I don't want to see you anymore.
I hoped these pills would help-
but they make things more clear for me.
You're face has been all I see
now I seem to be losing me
where did I go?
where am I again?
why are you the only face I recognize?

Eyes like emeralds, shine in the light,
Sad green eyes, but a smile so bright.
Long dark hair, she was so fare, but they didn't see what was really there.

At night she cries, eyes filled with tears as bitter as your lies.
Now She cuts her skin with your  silables of slaughter that made the words "you are my light".

You made her feel so special, now her skin is cold once more. Soon she will be lifeless, dead on the bathroom floor.

this was never a fair game, but you knew just how to play, she didn't know of your wicked tricks and ways.

but she loved you all the same.

The day is still young,
and forgetful;
Forgiving your first attempts
Forgetting the morning's hiccups,
Now is the time for you to do the same

The day has so much to offer,
as do you.
So hold your breathe and count to ten,
Pick back up and try again

The day is still young,
has so much to offer,
and so do you

Dear Momma,
The monster got me.
He dug his nails
Into my bones.
I swear every
Time I cried
He rejoiced
My tortured groans.

I fought hard,
Momma. I swear I did.
I gave up everything
Ive ever had to give.
He took my hair;
My piece of mind.
Yet still he wouldn't
Let me live.

But there's one thing
He'll never have, momma
No matter the pain
Or immeasurable weight
Of this hellish trauma.
He'll never have my soul
For your love for me
Is far too great.

They said I was special
Called me brave and strong.
Claimed me a warrior;
They've never been more wrong.
For I was but a child
Too afraid to turn around.
They'll never know that truth
For my heartbeat's 'ever gone.

-ARI