just another day
where people walk out of my life.
I'm sad but I'm numb.
I'm a t peace but I'm devastated.
I hope things got better someday.

As days passed by
kissing death seems like a great escape
as my soul is too weary to carry on
too lonely to live.

When you walked away
you took half of me
my strength,
my confident,
my laughter,
my colours,
now i'm as dim as i was before
you whisper the word love.
How can I not love someone
who made me kiss myself in the night.

She stares at a big framed picture hanging on the wall,
in awe and disbelieve of the beauty of the lady.
Words of praise flooding her mind;
She has perfect ivory skin.
She has red blood lips.
She has a beautiful body.
She has diamond hair.
She then looks at her living vessel,
comparing her haggard self to the lady in the picture; alive.
Wishing she is the lady in the picture when
a guy came and said, "I liked your picture miss." and smile.

The sweet taste of life,
the taste of cloud nine,
conjure on my psyche
when you're smiling, laughing and looking at me.

This longing is toxicating
I’m high of emotions
Bad ones, sad, anger
I long for that soft touch
Of your hands on my skin
And your velvet voice to whisper
On my ears
I long to know you
Your skin, hair and lips.
I want to hold you.

The day you gave me the red roses
are the day you're about to **** me.

Santa Claus is coming
delivering sun
on this cold winter day.

The sun that change sour face
into cotton candy sweet,
happy face into rays of sun.

Santa Claus is coming
bringing love
to warm our cold bodies.

Santa Claus is coming
wishing merry Christmas!

I adore the moon,
I adore the stars,
The galaxy is gorgeous,
And mysterious,
But the day I met you,
I looked into your eyes,
I saw a reflection,
Of moon,
Stars and galaxy,
Mysterious and mesmerizing,
Since then I stopped
Looked up and adoring,
Instead keeping my head ahead,
Looking into your eyes.

Sees the colour purple
in my poor soul
i'm begging
to leave the edge of the cliff
and carry on with new baggage
of memories and life.

The sunshine and storm

are the package he came with.

I felt in love

hoplessly and unconciously with him.

Because of him

I unwillingly tasted

the true heart break

and the sorrow of falling in love, being in love and falling out of love.

My first love, him.

Now i'm scared of falling in love...

You said my words are magic
and I smiled while I cried
because my words come from
shattered heart
and bleeding soul.

Sinking to the endless sea bed,
with orange roses you gave me.
That's how it feels like with you.
Hands chained to an anchor.
Suffocating, no one could hear
my scream.

I painted a world full of happiness
In my mind
I painted it with words
Of rainbow and fairytale (poetry)
Because the reality is dark and poisonous.
The world is my paradise.

Poetry is Mona Lisa,
timeless,
alive,
beautiful, mysterious and sometimes chaotic,

Poetry is the garden of secret,
full of craved trees with memories
of yesterday, today or tomorrow,
memories of dancing to the joyous melody in the living room
or memories of weeping due to sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

Poetry is the purple hand
touching the haggard and joyous souls,
towering hearts on cold dark night and sunny loud night,

Poetry is a diary
to souls impotent to pour the spectrum
of colors in the heart and mind
onto blank paper.

The cold December night wind reminds me of your voice,
reminds me of the baggage of polaroids of bitter sweet,
of velvet and grey,
of sleeping pill and happy pill.
I hope the night is kind to you.
i'm here wishing on 11.11 for
the bitter sweet polaroids are eternity.

Your face is a question mark
so does is your words.
you smiled and laughed
but all I could see is questions.
I tried and touched your heart
and mind,
but still your fences are towering.
You're the riddle
of missing pieces.

it's 3 am
all I could think of is the green of the other side
the faded darkness in my mind.

it's 3 am
all I could think of what ifs
what ifs I write a new book.

it's 3 am
all I could think of is God
and cloud nine taste.

In this black void space,
I could hear voices and laughter.
They tell the stories of yesterday.
They remind me of the swirling emotions
and the white chocolate you gave.
They keep on haunting
until I drift to dreamland
or maybe until dawn.

I curse myself
for consuming and
for surrendering myself
to your toxic words.
I drank your rosie sea of words,
treacherous yet tempting
and now i'm drown
and dehydrated as my soul
and mind and heart
are shattered and devastated.

Pool of tears on her blue eyes
Reflecting the abuse from society.
Her velvet soul is bruised.
She screams and yelps
But no one hugs her.
For all she does this while was planting sunflowers to others.
She is left alone
On cold nights.
And no one offers a cup of hot chocolate.
And for that her eyes are no longer blue
But black.

I still remember the day you walked into my life that you told me I was your soul mate, that I'm a good person. you told me I was the one who has ever seen your dark side and still love you. time flies, the last time I met you, you told me I'm a bad person that I'm a toxic and you gave the last embrace; emotionless.

The strawberry I stole
from the Mr and Mrs Einstein
is what I have regretted.
For the sin that I have made
seems to haunt me everyday.
I pray everyday to ****
these impure thoughts.
and everytime I meet him,
I remember the strawberry
I'm the devil.

stupid girl
you're different, complex
stupid girl
you're not a princess, flawed
no one will love you baby girl
she's your only friend,
you yourself.,
stop believing you'll ever be loved.

Despite the cold of my heart
towards you,
you're going to be my sunflower.
Forever.

Young blood
narrowed mind
made of adrenaline
high on 420 in front of policemen.

The day I met you
Is the day when i started to read love poetry
Is the day when I started to write some
The day I met you
Was the day I cried
Watching romantic movies
Was the day I dance to
Love songs.
The day I met you
Was the day I knew
I'll be ruined
But you're the flame
And I'm a moth
You're beautiful and I'm
Drawn yo you

The notes I play on my guitar
sings the perfect flaws that you have,
the perfect scars you have on your skins
the perfect nose that you hated
the butterfly bat of your eyelashes
the perfect weird ways you laugh
the perfect riddled words you said.

The melody capture
the yearn of my heart
to be one with yours,
that is owned by her.

The lyrics I wrote
are the memories that we had,
the way you open your arms
to hug me
when I'm cold and distant
and the way you offer me the dance
when I was as bitter as the coffee
and made me dance like a child.

You're the lyrics that I wrote
coloured by my blue vibe,
splashed with my tears
while you're dancing with her
and kiss her pain away.

your deep blue eyes caught me in the crowd
locked my heart from afar.
My soul drawn to that purple mask you wore.
you came closer and whisper Lana Del Rey's songs.
I was pulled harder by the gravity,
falling from cloud 9 to the earth.
But you were just the wind; lasts only for the night.

to ask a girl like me,
a deranged sad girl
of what rainbow is to her
is being pretty
being rich
being curvy skinny.
to ask a girl like me,
an insecure indigent girl
of what sunshine is to her
is being loved
being pretty
being pretty.
they said she's the ugly girl with a brain.

Today,
The sound of your velvet voice
Send warm to my psyche,
The sound of your warm laughs
Send me back to the past.
To the happy times we had,
To the time I trusted you,
To the time you said you'd never leave me.
But,
You also trigger the chaos in my mind,
Sorrow that will haunt me for life.
Today I realized I hate you but I also love you.

One month and a half
my heart was aching
but i'm watering my soul
so it turns from black to yellow.

One month and a half
I swallowed your black pills
you gave me when you walked away
and i'm a few pills away to recovering.

One month and a half
our minds and souls were disconnected
and the flame in heart was fading
when you knocked on my door one night
begging, kissing me with the word "I still loved you"
a hundred times.
Travesty..

the smell of the rain
and the grey skies
were my definition of happiness
for me yesterday.
A moment captured,
as a semantic memory.
For once I feel contained
and the grey skies were
my cotton candy.