I still remember that day,
that one day we met,
it keeps on haunting me,
till this day.
I still remember that day,
when your eyes pierce into mine,
deep warm sensation embrace me,
I felt welcomed.
I still remember that day,
when I looked into your eyes,
I found home,
I found acceptance.
But until this day,
you're just a memory,
a day to remember,
an ephemeral hot chocolate.
To the person who I thought I have a crush on.
void heart is dangerous
works like a drug; hallucination
that every man are fond of the owner.
apparition of fairy tale
unbearable from day to day.
counting times to meet the other half
it's ludicrous, unbearable, embarrassing.
it's a part of fulling the void; unloved.
Mystery attraction between human
electric attraction felt on the body
is it the neuron interacts
or the star dust found it's complement particles?
Only the physical form
triggers the longing
chemical and eternity bond.
How is this possible?
How is face triggers love?
These linger in my mind until now.
once was my sun
now is my dark cloud.
maybe we're not meant to be,
you're meant to be my semantic memories;
bitter and sweet.
I was there, when no one was there,
but you liked clown
and i'm the sad soul.
The last thing I send to the moon,
I miss you. I hope you miss me.
I painted a world full of happiness
In my mind
I painted it with words
Of rainbow and fairytale (poetry)
Because the reality is dark and poisonous.
The world is my paradise.
Here's a story.
I saw him standing on the hallway
and I caught myself being a Cheshire cat.
what a Greek God he is.
Gravity just pulled my heart and my soul into the earth core,
I admired his pretty face,
and my mind clouded by lust.
The second time I saw him,
I still caught myself being a Cheshire cat.
I'm paralysed on a field of wilted roses and sunflowers.
weeping.. on the cold ground.
Have you painted my skies winter solstice.
merciless and intentionally..
gasping for air, I'm cold...
When you got played so hard by the one you loved... turns out i'm just a toy he played when he's bored.
The word men used
to describe pretty woman
with art on her face.
He loved her face
but not her heart
which is also an art.
Now he's full of rage
when she wiped the art
from her face.
For it should be beautiful
because she's naked; vulnerable
She loved her art
for that is her nature
and men, remember to
See the art on her heart too.
Some guys claimed guys should not trust woman with make up because it's a lie that some of them thought of breaking up with their girlfriend after seeing them with no makeup.
Pool of tears on her blue eyes
Reflecting the abuse from society.
Her velvet soul is bruised.
She screams and yelps
But no one hugs her.
For all she does this while was planting sunflowers to others.
She is left alone
On cold nights.
And no one offers a cup of hot chocolate.
And for that her eyes are no longer blue
No place for soft heart in the big bad world
The azure skies are her day,
Katrina Tornado is her companion,
She saw rainbow in people,
Sometimes she saw blue in people,
red, grey even rainbow,
but she knew only grey and black in her.
She sees the world as a warm desolated place constantly.
People see the world as a warm place,
sometimes a cold place.
She has eyes of black coffee; empty.
She yearns for rainbow internally,
but she has walked the abyss,
so her heart is devoid of colours.
She's the ****** up ones.
When you view the world differently due to pass experience.
because of the oxygen
and the thoughts
I'm lost and i'm alone
crying and screaming to the sky
asking when will my time come
to not be alone in this forest of despair.
I'm just a human
and the person that I cared,
pushed me away
and one reaction
produce another chain reactions.
I'm so tired, my tears are almost blood
of being alone, crying alone,
bottling my emotions and feelings
OH GOD PLEASE,
GIVE ME A BREAK.
You're a sunflower.
I'm the crestfallen.
All I can see are colours
when I'm looking at you.
Unalike me, i'm all grey and black.
You remind me of
the missing part of me.
The me I was looking for
all this while.
I saw you,
closer yet far.
You're like the missing puzzle
i'm yearning for,
that I can't possessed
that I wanted to trace with my fingers,
but I can't.
your infatuation are on others,
that I can't compare.
Out of my league crush.
Darling, I liked you,
You've done nothing but,
Unexpected, my soul is drawn to you,
I'm sorry I liked you,
I'm sorry I hurt me.
You're flawed but you're flawless,
You are a piece of eccentric art,
I liked it.
I'd keep you.
About having a crush on someone.
I adore the moon,
I adore the stars,
The galaxy is gorgeous,
But the day I met you,
I looked into your eyes,
I saw a reflection,
Stars and galaxy,
Mysterious and mesmerizing,
Since then I stopped
Looked up and adoring,
Instead keeping my head ahead,
Looking into your eyes.
For I would like to say sorry to strangers
as they only glance on my physique
not a glimpse on my soul, mind and heart
for that I am possessed by Lady Black
born from the ashes of broken psychic.
For I would like to say sorry too to my beloved
as they have met Lady Black
shape shifting into my figure sometimes
switching off my conscious
and covered the innocent me.
For she is crazy;
I am too crazy.
For people hate her;me
but I liked her as much as I despised her
for she made me a warrior
for she is me, as I am her.
We are one,
smirking in the corner
after we have succeed.
Lady Black - The demon
All this while I watered
the flowers you gave me
tho they have wilted.
But one day you came
and you broke the vase
and you asked,
"why did you watered the roses?"
then from that day I let you go
And I hope
you find what you're looking for.
When you made effort for people and they didn't do anything and then they asked why did we made effort for them at the first place.
Despite the cold of my heart
you're going to be my sunflower.
Tho you hate that person, she/he will always tattooed in your heart.
I want it to be like in the movies,
love at the first sight.
Like how Augustus saw Hazel Grace,
like how Adam saw Mia.
I want you to keen me for my beauty.
The beauty only you can see.
I want you to keen me for my passion.
The passion some people hard to understand.
I want it to be dinner in romantic restaurants,
I want you to give me your jacket when it's cold,
I want you to walk me home.
I want you to talk with me bout life,
about how the world was created,
gazing the stars together,
singing with me,
and hold me in your arms all night,
so I can listen to your heartbeat.
I know it's too much,
but I want it just like the movies.
just a sappy wish.
Sinking to the endless sea bed,
with orange roses you gave me.
That's how it feels like with you.
Hands chained to an anchor.
Suffocating, no one could hear
I let you kiss my heart
and ignite the fire within,
with only 3 seconds eyes stare.
But I dive in to deep
and now i'm burnt by the fire
while you're staring at me in the car
you made out to me with your charming smile.
Now i'm haunted by the fire
and the scent you left on my body
after we made out,
after our summer vacations.
2 months my heart is in the darkest place
shattered by him
I can grow sunflowers in my garden
and burn the wilted roses he gave
and floats with waves of fate.
comparison of superficial beauty
from the society.
Made her sing melancholic songs
and howl at the stars at night; crying and wishing she could
being compare to other girls is hard especially the pretty girls
I'd be yours,
past, present and future,
I'm bound to you.
Is this love?
I still remember that night
when you're in despair
I came to you
to be your pill.
I'd be there,
I'd wipe your tears,
I'd cuddle your pain away.
In your 4 walls,
we shared laughs,
we shared tears,
we shared stories.
by your child like laughter,
your deep blue eyes,
your chestnut hair,
tho your heart is not mine.
We used to sit,
gazing the stars,
and I realized,
your face luminous the most.
I'll be yours,
tho she kept your heart.
By life you're altered,
bit by bit molded by fate's hand
and someday maybe tomorrow,
you'll come face to face with your own reflection
and you'll be surprised or terrified,
because the beast has conquered your angel
your angel has consumed your beast.
Life molded us into who we are
the way you played my heart string
send me to the abyss
shattering my heart into pieces.
you're killing me slowly
with your beautiful deathly diseased mind
and i'm your slave.
you're making me high in ecstasy
with your red rose words
and i'm addicted to your.
The strawberry I stole
from the Mr and Mrs Einstein
is what I have regretted.
For the sin that I have made
seems to haunt me everyday.
I pray everyday to ****
these impure thoughts.
and everytime I meet him,
I remember the strawberry
I'm the devil.
strawberry - lust
is when you don't feel happy;
you can't smile under the azure sky.
is when you see all the skies are forever grey;
you can't taste the sweet in your favorite chocolate.
is when you look into the mirror
and you can see
your eyes are empty.
I see a ghost in my room.
It started a month ago.
He appears everytime i'm alone.
with it comes sadness and longing and regret.
in absence of sight
I can also feel his presence in every smell in the room
and living room.
In every songs and movies.
In every void mind of mine.
I curse myself
for consuming and
for surrendering myself
to your toxic words.
I drank your rosie sea of words,
treacherous yet tempting
and now i'm drown
and dehydrated as my soul
and mind and heart
are shattered and devastated.
the danger of falling in love with words.
He loves watching her dancing
in her red dress
with champagne in his hand.
People said he's no good for her
because he loves rock songs
and she loves pop songs.
He is her soul.
She is his trophy.
She loves him on her lonely cold nights
where daddy dancing with other girls.
When you loved someone
it feels like you're laying down
on a lavender field
gazing at the stars;
thousands of them
When you loved someone
it feels like the wind
and the sun are unison;
just enough to caress
your delicate skins
and make you feel warm inside.
When you loved someone
it feels like you're venturing
into the wilderness
at the back of your hometown's house;
treacherous but exhilarating.
When you loved someone
it feels like you're dancing
to your favourite songs
in the rain
and the thunder is rumbling;
fearsome but thrilling.
The feeling you have when you loved someone.
I found myself draw
a scene of perhaps my future.
my deepest desire
a scene of two bodies and souls colliding.
the smell of the rain
and the grey skies
were my definition of happiness
for me yesterday.
A moment captured,
as a semantic memory.
For once I feel contained
and the grey skies were
my cotton candy.
when you touch her do you think of me? because every silent night I think of you honey.
why is missing someone so hurt?
the faucet is always turned on.
that the sky is always dark on sunny day.
that night is the worst.
i'm missing my housemate :(
There's somehow a hole,
a void deep inside,
maybe it's fated,
maybe there's reasons.
We roam the road,
some with purposes,
some just go along.
either way we're incomplete.
We crave the other half,
looking for the missing pieces
of the puzzle,
to feel every spectrum,
of colors existed.
Maybe it's meant to be
that we're only half,
because if we're whole,
we're not living.
your deep blue eyes caught me in the crowd
locked my heart from afar.
My soul drawn to that purple mask you wore.
you came closer and whisper Lana Del Rey's songs.
I was pulled harder by the gravity,
falling from cloud 9 to the earth.
But you were just the wind; lasts only for the night.
the crush you're having on someone who you meet only for awhile.
I glimpse at you
And you spread glitter on my heart
I can't help but to write you
Because you're a masterpiece
The shade of purple
Is beautiful as poetry.
I hope you're looking at the moon too,
the same stars
and dream of me tonight
because I dream of you all day
have been waiting for you all these while
To stop the rumbling thunders in my mind
take a thousand year
or maybe eternity.
Until I close my eyes
maybe then i'll found paradise.
Pure paradise not crystal white
or sipping bottles.
Oh God shelter me,
I need a break.
stuck in this cage
I thought I've touched the lights
but then the light dimmed and i'm back
in the dark.
To be the daughter of sadness
My soul is worn out
Everytimea my tears drop.
And the worst part
it's eternity. For now.
I don't know when will this melancholic feeling disappear.
what is love?
I don't know what love is
but when I saw you
I'm attracted to your mysterious words,
your swift gaze on the night sky,
your luminous sincere smile,
I wanted to feel your world
but you're the moon and i'm the wolf.
If you want to taste the color grey,
I'd shower you poems
and offer you warm chocolate everyday.
I'd color you grey
and you'd devoid me with color.
Your face is a question mark
so does is your words.
you smiled and laughed
but all I could see is questions.
I tried and touched your heart
but still your fences are towering.
You're the riddle
of missing pieces.
some people won't let you in no matter how hard you try
Cold midnight air nudging me
With memories of a room
Painted and built
With bitter sweet memories
Where our bodies and souls collided.
I was in the past that night
Echoed by your laughs
And the smell of the room; smell of you
Vividly fills my lungs
And I'm cried
Because that was 2 years ago
And I knew
you're someone else's now.
made of adrenaline
high on 420 in front of policemen.
you dragged me along your backyard
you threw my body 6 feet under
after you stabbed my heart.
you gave up
and didn't put up a fight.
you buried me
with black roses
and no headstone.
you left me there
betrayal by the loved one.
My mind is clogged
and my hand is locked
by the thoughts of wanting to be pretty.
I can't pour anything else on the paper
but the words of misery
and bleeding heart,
pleading for beauty.
I'm sitting for weeks
and all I could write on the papers are
I wanted to be pretty.
I'm having writer's block at the moment.
I had Daisy in my hand
but I let her wilt.
because I was too busy searching.
now that she's gone,
she might be the one I'm looking for.
Daisy - friend
Poetry is Mona Lisa,
beautiful, mysterious and sometimes chaotic,
Poetry is the garden of secret,
full of craved trees with memories
of yesterday, today or tomorrow,
memories of dancing to the joyous melody in the living room
or memories of weeping due to sinking to the bottom of the ocean.
Poetry is the purple hand
touching the haggard and joyous souls,
towering hearts on cold dark night and sunny loud night,
Poetry is a diary
to souls impotent to pour the spectrum
of colors in the heart and mind
onto blank paper.
this is what poetry means to me