Mystery attraction between human
electric attraction felt on the body
is it the neuron interacts
or the star dust found it's complement particles?
Only the physical form
triggers the longing
and then
chemical and eternity bond.
How is this possible?
How is face triggers love?
These linger in my mind until now.

By life you're altered,
bit by bit molded by fate's hand
and someday maybe tomorrow,
you'll come face to face with your own reflection
and you'll be surprised or terrified,
because the beast has conquered your angel
or
your angel has consumed your beast.

void heart is dangerous
works like a drug; hallucination
that every man are fond of the owner.
apparition of fairy tale
unbearable from day to day.
counting times to meet the other half
it's ludicrous, unbearable, embarrassing.
it's a part of fulling the void; unloved.

Dear him.

I want it to be like in the movies,
love at the first sight.

Like how Augustus saw Hazel Grace,
like how Adam saw Mia.
I want you to keen me for my beauty.
The beauty only you can see.
I want you to keen me for my passion.
The passion some people hard to understand.

I want it to be dinner in romantic restaurants,
I want you to give me your jacket when it's cold,
I want you to walk me home.

I want you to talk with me bout life,
about how the world was created,
gazing the stars together,
singing with me,
and hold me in your arms all night,
so I can listen to your heartbeat.

I know it's too much,
but I want it just like the movies.

When you loved someone
it feels like you're laying down
on a lavender field
gazing at the stars;
thousands of them
everyday.

When you loved someone
it feels like the wind
and the sun are unison;
just enough to caress
your delicate skins
and make you feel warm inside.

When you loved someone
it feels like you're venturing
into the wilderness
at the back of your hometown's house;
treacherous but exhilarating.

When you loved someone
it feels like you're dancing
to your favourite songs
in the rain
and the thunder is rumbling;
fearsome but thrilling.

I found myself draw
a scene of perhaps my future.
my deepest desire
my subconscious.
a scene of two bodies and souls colliding.

I see a ghost in my room.
It started a month ago.
He appears everytime i'm alone.
with it comes sadness and longing and regret.
in absence of sight
I can also feel his presence in every smell in the room
and living room.
In every songs and movies.
In every void mind of mine.

I hope you're looking at the moon too,
the same stars
and dream of me tonight
because I dream of you all day
all night.

If you want to taste the color grey,
date me.
I'd shower you poems
and offer you warm chocolate everyday.
I'd color you grey
and you'd devoid me with color.

Help...
I fell deep into my mind again.
suffocating,
as I  listen to the whispers of the red eyed.
Help...
I hated myself again; face and body.
suffocating,
when is this going to end.
Help...
I need help
I'm sad again.

My mind is clogged
and my hand is locked
by the thoughts of wanting to be pretty.
I can't pour anything else on the paper
but the words of misery
and bleeding heart,
pleading for beauty.
I'm sitting for weeks
and all I could write on the papers are
I wanted to be pretty.