Why have you given in to the call of another lover?

Slam your head on a piece of white paper
Until blank ink spills out of your forehead.
Until the ink forms words, phrases, sentences, prose,
Something that will perfectly justify how it feels like to have swallowed
a rock, a planet, a universe.

Find a friend who tells the truth.
Tell her everything and listen to her as she rips out your soul and crush your heart into grains
While she speak of things you already know but you were too stupid not to believe.
Truth heals another truth,
Let it devour you.

Get a rich old man to like you and spend most of your time thinking of the smartest way to stay away from him.
Channel all your energy to your new found fear and disgust.
New problems patch another problem.
Distraction is the key to stop the living from haunting you.

Force yourself to get out of your bed
the moment you first lift your eyelids to check the time on your phone.
Do not nail yourself in there.
Your bed is one of the most dangerous places at this stage,
It is a VCR for mental flashbacks.
Get yourself out of the dark.

Not the bitter kind, no.
Far from it actually.
Maybe it is the eye of the storm
Or the silence after the closing credits rolled up,
I will never really know.
In this vortex of mixed signals and miscalculated worst-case scenarios,
I know I am supposed to find a way out of your world
And force myself to walk on desserts
Or swim through rivers just to be safe from your shadow.
But strange as it may seem,
I have just managed to run away a little and now I stop.
The ignition on my feet is not responding, the chords were cut from my brain.
It did not consume me enough.
I could not taste the blood from my punctured lips.

Somehow the snow did
On the day you said goodbye.
Turn a ****** red.