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454 · Jan 2015
Pressure
Caitlin Jan 2015
Don't you know that I know what pressure I'm under?
I don't need your nagging too.
448 · Nov 2016
I hate this feeling
Caitlin Nov 2016
The funny thing is,
You don't know what you did to make me react this way.
And I don't know how to tell you.

How can I tell you that my heart throbs when I look at you?
That the physical pain of avoiding you, even though it was your idea, Hurts so much I can't stand it.
How can I tell you, that I'm afraid of losing you?
That I'm afraid of being used by you, and then just thrown away...

I can't tell you that.
Ever
442 · Jan 2015
Ask.
Caitlin Jan 2015
How many of you actually care?
I really want to know.
439 · May 2014
For her
Caitlin May 2014
The talk that I'd like to have with you
If I have the courage..

To her:
I hate you.
I can say that honsetly.

It kinda started when you lied to me-
I was just asking a question-
But even then he was manipulating you.

I thought you were better than that.
I looked up to you.
Why'd you go and do that to me?

But then you  tried to hide the fact that you were dating him from me.
Did you think of me as a threat?

And then he left.
And impacted us both-
You weren't the only one in pain.
I loved him too!!!

But then you went and changed.
You became a b---h
I'm sorry it's the truth.

And then at footloose when you asked me if I'd seen him-
And I  gave you a sarcastic answer:
"He's doing what he does best- sitting"
You got all defensive,
And I warned you..

And you said- he thinks he's in love with me-
I wanted to yell-
What about you?
Do you love him?
Because I know what my feeling are.

You just never saw them.
Get out of your own world.
Look at the one around you.
And to think you'll be leading the band in a few months...

You are a sad sob story.
Too bad no one wants to listen
Personal thing- might aply to life as well, depends on how you look at it.
433 · Jul 2014
Blank pages
Caitlin Jul 2014
I stare at the blank page in front of me.
Thoughts flee my mind,
The moment I need them.

I stare at the blank page.
Willing it to give me some idea,
Some clue as to why I am writing.

I stare at the blank page.
I stare at it, blank, lifeless and
Incomplete without ink running down its page.

I stare at the empty, white page.
It's powerless without, me, it's writer.
Utterly and completely

I stare at the blank page.
My power flows through my pen
And onto the paper.

I have completed
A masterpiece.
430 · May 2014
Dark-Side (10w)
Caitlin May 2014
If you knew
What really
goes on in my mind....
Would you still stay?
428 · Feb 2015
Damn you.
Caitlin Feb 2015
**** you.
You said you liked me,
But now you say you don't?
Not the way that I do.

**** you.
I finally put my heart on the line again,
And you crush it?
I thought you were better than that.

**** you.
I can't even look at you in the eyes anymore...
I feel like you broke my trust.

**** you.
**** you.
And I still like you,
Hell I even love you still.

**** you.
**** you.
424 · Jan 2017
Minimizing
Caitlin Jan 2017
So, I learned today that I minimize my own pain and hurt for someone else's
Not to belittle myself, but to be more compassionate of the other person
And that little tidbit of info, really changed my perspective of a lot of things..
422 · Jan 2017
Fear
Caitlin Jan 2017
Fear
Is what drives us most of the time.
That feeling in the pit of your stomach
Right before you take a jump.
The flutter of your heart
When you take a risk.
The gasp that you breathe in
When you realize that you can’t go back.
Its when you realize that conquering that fear is the goal.
Then what?
What happens then?
Does fear still drive us?
418 · Jan 2014
Music
Caitlin Jan 2014
Music is my life.
I know I've said that a million times
But it is. All of me is music
You will never catch me in a moment
when I'm not humming lyrics or singing or playing my horn.
Music is also, my escape.
The thing I turn to when I'm falling apart inside.
It's also one of my biggest problems.
414 · Feb 2015
Feelings
Caitlin Feb 2015
Feelings,
That's all I m zeroing in on now..
Feelings.

Loneliness
Fear
Pain
Unimportantance
Unworthy
Un­loved
Not noticed
Nothing

I wish I didn't feel like this,
I wish someone cared,
Someone loved me...

Feelings,
They are the one thing holding me back,
And the one thing keeping my sane.
Feelings....
412 · Jan 2015
Rant
Caitlin Jan 2015
So today, I realized that I was depressed, based on the poem "my fear" that is evident. so I told some people. Like my English teacher, who has been very supportive of me this past year. He quite possibly understands me better than my parents do. But what He said after I showed him "My Fear", shocked me. He said I needed therapy, to get someone else's opinion on my life, which is true. So I decided to get a second opinion, from my band director. I love my band director, He gets me. So I told him that I was depressed about family and stress and school. and He started talking to me about this, and how it effects my playing and ect. But one thing He said was that I need to use this pressure, for that was what it boiled down to was pressure, and use it as motivation. And so I left, feeling a little better. But what really got me was that when I enter the band room afterschool, to grab some music to copy at home, my folder is missing. Now folders rarely go missing, because we have our own spot for them. And I did eventually locate my folder, but the thing was that 4 pieces of my music were missing. a exercise book, a chorale and 2 festival music. Now I know that when I put my music away after class, which was 6th period, we only had one class left. but I KNOW that  I had my music in that folder. So sometime within 50 min, someone took my folder out and took my music. Now that, that is out, the fact that I was depressed than this incident with my music made me paranoid, it was not a good combination. I almost started to cry.... it was terrible.
407 · Oct 2015
Gasping
Caitlin Oct 2015
I am gasping for air.
My eyes see nothing but blues, greens, and blacks.
My arms tangle with waves and my legs are pumping, treading water.
This ravenous sea has taken me captive and isn't letting go
It pulls me under and I silently scream.
I cannot let this win me over.
I propels legs and will my body to go above the waves.
I am gasping for air as my head breaks the waves.
I see my savior, a ships light.
I scream and wave my arms as best I could with the waves still fighting to keep their captive.
A search lights starts swaying; they've heard me!
I am gasping for air,
Sitting huddled in a blanket aboard the ship.
I am saved.
400 · Feb 2015
The Last Text
Caitlin Feb 2015
The last text I sent you was on Friday.
You still haven't replied.
"I'm head over heels falling for you. That's the problem. And it hurts me both mentally and emotionally."
That was the text.
And when I saw you today,
I wanted to curl up in to a ball and die.
I'm avoiding you,
And it hurts.
397 · Dec 2014
Fix me?? (10w)
Caitlin Dec 2014
Why do I feel so..
So broken?
So broken inside???
Just what I've been feeling.... a lot lately.
390 · May 2014
My devil....
Caitlin May 2014
You know how in the cartoons
The main character has,
When making a decision.
A devil and an angel
On either shoulder

Well, lately
I think that I have one
But my story has to go back..

I've always had my angel
Since I was little.
But it wasn't until high school
Where I met my devil

He impacted my life hugely.
Then my angel started to fall
for this devil.

I know it sounds cheesy
But my angel knew
that he was a devil
But she chose to sit back
And see where he leads

Angel eventually fell in love.
With what she knew about the devil
And she didn't question it.

Then our story takes an interesting turn-
The devil left.
Abruptly, without a word
The angel was devastated

She didn't know what to do.
She was stuck

She sat and tried to figure
Out what she had to do.
She picked herself up
And simply moved on.

But it's not as it was that simple.
She still though of the devil
Every single day.
Whether it be intentional
Or not.
She still cringed at the thought
Of him doing the same thing to someone else.
Someone else falling to his charms
She still wept.
She still fell apart.

*But my angel is still there
387 · Jan 2015
Hearts (10w)
Caitlin Jan 2015
Mine is broken
Yours is whole.

Where is the fairness?
387 · Jan 2015
Step up..
Caitlin Jan 2015
Stop depending on me so much.

*I'm afraid I'll let you down
Just me right now.. Thinking of band.. And my leadership..
386 · Dec 2014
Insecure (10w)
Caitlin Dec 2014
How can I be so IMPORTANT
Yet still be *invisible…
385 · Feb 2015
Happy
Caitlin Feb 2015
I feel like for the first time in my life I am happy.
And I'm happy because of you.
To John.. <3
383 · Feb 2016
Past
Caitlin Feb 2016
My past is not simply my past.
For a while it haunted me, like a ghost.
But now, it is a reminder;
Of my mistakes,
Of where I've come from
Of who I don't want to become
Of what I want to escape from
But my past is just that.
Mine.
Nothing can change that.
I've accepted it.
My past is my history.
I've got to look forward now.
381 · Nov 2014
Me
Caitlin Nov 2014
Me
Creative
Awesome
Imaginative
Touching
Loving
Inquisitive
Normal

­Moody
Open to new ideas
Ordinary
Daring
Y-why not
379 · Aug 2014
FEARS
Caitlin Aug 2014
I am afraid of failing, that's what stopped me from taking the solo last year.
I am afraid of letting people down.
I am afraid of letting myself down, that's why I don't take risks.
I fear what people think if I showed them who I really am.
I am afraid.
373 · Apr 2014
Train
Caitlin Apr 2014
Even when I'm not sure if you can hear me, I know my words will get through
When you're going 100 miles a hour- my idea is recognized
If I'm close to tears and no words can be said, you simply hold me close
I know that nothing I say will be told to someone else
You are my train

I think- that sometimes..
I am yours.
Your train.

We yell
We cry
We write
We relate.
*Trains
This is a reference to footloose.. You should see it.
368 · Jul 2015
Broke??
Caitlin Jul 2015
I need to be broken,
In order to build myself back up again.
368 · Feb 2014
........
Caitlin Feb 2014
Choices is what it all boils down too.
He choses to do certain things to see my reaction.
I have to choose.
This or that.

That will be the choice.
What do I chose?
Against my heart or for him?
For the excitement or for the dull?
For what I love or who I love?

How far am I willing to go,
Down this black hole that I've dug myself?
That is the choice.
That I have to make.
HAVE to make....
365 · Sep 2014
Shadows
Caitlin Sep 2014
For so long
I was stuck between your shadow
And you.

No longer.
363 · May 2014
I never
Caitlin May 2014
If you saw me now..
I never knew that I could..

I never knew I could fly,
Until you showed me my wings

I never knew that I could that the leap
Until you showed me the cliff

I never knew..
Why didn't you tell me?
363 · Jan 2015
My Life...
Caitlin Jan 2015
I hate my life.
I can say that honestly.
Nothing goes right for me..
Not love, Not family,
Nothing.

I hate it.
I'm avoiding my family right now.. They just don't get it.
359 · Feb 2015
2/19/15
Caitlin Feb 2015
Its about 50 degrees outside today.
I was outside for an hour, waiting for my dad.
That was between 4 and 5.
Its 6:47, and I still haven't warmed up.
*I love  my parents!!
This is true- my dad was at a meeting and didn't have his phone....
356 · Jul 2015
Connections
Caitlin Jul 2015
I'm looking for a connection,
That I can't seem to find anywhere.
Help.....
356 · Nov 2015
Butterflies
Caitlin Nov 2015
I got butterflies with you.
When I was anticipating me seeing you.
When you showed me card tricks.
When you mentioned the ten of hearts

I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.
But I can't have you, not now.
You have someone else.
356 · Jul 2015
Change
Caitlin Jul 2015
So this past weekend, my band went to Washington D.C
to perform in the national Fourth of July parade.
Yay!!
But I was totally out of my comfort zone, and I changed a lot.
Good change...
So yeah....
355 · Dec 2014
My shattered heart
Caitlin Dec 2014
Because of what we shared
      You will always have
               *A piece of my heart
354 · May 2014
Years
Caitlin May 2014
Born- my parents hadn't planned me.. I wonder why?
One- life is good- no worries except if I should drop this bowl on the floor- I think I will.
Two- same old, same old- I'm beginning to talk..
Three- learning all about the interesting things in the house- is that a stove?
Four- pre-K, I'm learning that my brother is a little weird...
Five- kindergarten- I don't really enjoy school at this time..
Six-school starts- I'm weary at first but then I start to love it. I also get my first look at love- his name was Jonathan- but then he moved
Seven-I get to see my first taste of snow, breathtaking
Eight- I begin helping the special kids at my school- I think one if them falls in love with me.. I was the only one who could calms him down.
Nine- I begin my journey of my obsession with books. Ms Newman helped with that.
Ten- I enter fifth grade- my last year- I loved my teachers- they were preparing us for the middle school changing of classes
Eleven- middle school- I'm in band, playing french horn- it was exciting. I loved it. I also learning about real friends during this time...
Twelve - in band again- I play a solo- and I did good. I form a club at my school first priority. My brother has an open heart surgery- I realize how precious life is.
Thirteen-eighth grade- I cried at the end of it- mainly about band.. I made a lasting relationship with my director, Mr. Williams and Mrs. Larson- I loved being with the band.
Fourteen- high-school- I wasn't prepared for the drama and problems that would arise- I meet my largest problem- my section leader in band- let me tell you that I loved marching band it was(and still is) the best.
Fifteen-I was still having problems with my section leader- now turned drum major.. But I think that we are good now..I also fall for him as well. So..
Sixteen
I haven't gotten that far yet- only two weeks and I'll be 16, but let's hope that my life has taught me well.
354 · Sep 2015
Nervous
Caitlin Sep 2015
I'm singing on Sunday,
I'm a nervous wreck.
It's bad....
353 · Jan 2015
Ramblings
Caitlin Jan 2015
Have you ever thought about love, like as much as I've thought about love?
Do you know that I think of you more often than not?
Do you ever think of me?

I hate this feeling inside when I think that you could come back.
It's a mixture of fear and anxiety and joy.
I want to show you that you no longer effect me, but at the same time I fear that I actually do...
Him. That's all I can say...
351 · Dec 2014
Still.. (10w)
Caitlin Dec 2014
Do
     you realize
            the effect you
                    still have on me?
To him
349 · Nov 2016
Always
Caitlin Nov 2016
I want to say something loud and clear tonight.
I am me.
I am Caitlin Moody.
Born and raised Floridian,
Singer, French Horn player
Poet.
Roommate, Friend.
I often care too much,
I love too much.
I get hurt,
I fall.
But see the thing is,
I always get up.
Always.
345 · Apr 2016
Lost
Caitlin Apr 2016
I'm so lost without you.
Come back to me?
344 · Sep 2015
Panic
Caitlin Sep 2015
I'm afraid I'm gonna have a panic attack,
Or a mental break down and start crying....
344 · Mar 2015
Me
Caitlin Mar 2015
Me
I'm the one what dishes out advice like money from a billionaire.
Yet I am broke..
343 · Jul 2015
Desires...
Caitlin Jul 2015
What do I want most in life?
I have no idea.
342 · Feb 2016
Preparation
Caitlin Feb 2016
It's funny how you can prepare for something,
Then all of a sudden be pushed to your knees
With crippling anxiety.
And I know I'm not all that prepared,
And I'm stressing the little things,
But my future hangs in the balance.
If I don't pas this audition with soaring colors ,
I don't know what I'm going to do.
340 · Aug 2015
Blue
Caitlin Aug 2015
Blue, blue.
Nothing but blue.
As far as I can see. 
I feel so alone; 
Standing next to it,
It's so big, and so important,
And what am I?
Nothing, and nobody.
Blue, blue.
Nothing but blue.
339 · Apr 2015
Can't you see?
Caitlin Apr 2015
Can't you see how much pain you are causing me?
I can't breathe..
You make me so weak,
To the point that I can't talk to you anymore.
We used to be close..
Now what do I do?
I love you,
Can't you see???
339 · Nov 2014
Confused
Caitlin Nov 2014
I hate that I'm invisible.
How do I play such a big part in everyone's life..
Yet no one notices me??
339 · May 2014
Fall in Love
Caitlin May 2014
I want to fall I love
I want to love  someone's quirkiness
For someone to love mine
I want to be able to hug him all the time
Him to hug me- and never let go
I want to adore his smile
And him mine
To have him give me that look
that melts my insides
I want to melt his,with my gaze

I want a fairytale.
I long for a happy ending

*Can someone give that to me?
338 · Jul 2015
Compare
Caitlin Jul 2015
When I saw you with her,
I know I'll never add up in your eyes..
You still like her, I can tell.
I hate being jealous of her.
She's pretty, skinny, has friends who care,
She's had both guys that I've liked..
And then there's me.
Poor, ugly, fat me.
What do you see in me?
I like you and you don't see it..
336 · Jan 2016
Lifted
Caitlin Jan 2016
A weight has been lifted off my shoulders
I can finally breath again.
No more stressing about the little things,
I'ts time to focus on the bigger picture
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