it had taken bones,
reshuffled and pounded to pieces
fingertips,
scorched
from molding cast irons,
worn, from unsewing and re-sewing heartbeats
and wrists,
white from scarring,
for me not to break
at the slightest touch.

I tried not to cry
When you cut your wrist.

I recognised well,
What had happened,
When I walked through your door.

Your eyes,
Agony,
Bloodshot.

You ******:
Wounded,
Savaged.

The bandage-
Hurried.
Medic alert!

White on red
Solemn colours,
All a child’s eyes can see.

How I tremble
As that child’s mind-
Helpless.

All my strength,
My smarts
And I can’t move you

Out of that state,
Out of this place,
This Hell.

Please don’t die,
I can’t live
Without you.

I guess I'll go make a cup of tea
Because sometimes it feels like
You have time for all of them, but not for me

I would like you to stay.
Stay where you've always been-
Where I once was. I would like you to stay
Here
With me. And I know that it is wrong and
Selfish
to even express
How still I long for you to stay- but I cannot bare the bruise
Of another milestone
Whipped at my head
though they're not even mine.

I never thought I would become all that I now am. I never thought I was this capable of hurting myself. I never thought I would be this alone surrounded by all the things I love and understand. I never thought this would happen so early on;
The great distance left bearing only heavier weights.

So I'll take whatever milestones I can
And abuse their theoretical beauty

The sleep

and breaking of my bones-

My last and final duty.

i believe,
even the stars
get tired.

when the night sky
had folded them away
back into the darkness

and the moon,
that lonesome thing,
has doused itself in shadows.

so will you too, my friend
shy away from the light
as if it would burn
if it reached you.

maybe you feel,
you just are not strong enough
to face the day.

that the midnight hour
is a broken thing

and oh, the silence
is deafening.

and you and i know, even the stars
are tired.

you mourn for them
as their light expires.

The night is dark.
The path is long.
The monsters are out.
In the shadows, they lurk.

Take my hand.
Let us find our way home.
No matter what comes tonight,
I promise to never leave you alone.

Miles upon miles,
Riddled with beds.
Tissues and soft hands,
To wipe my tears.
Piles upon piles,
Of blankets and food.
A nice, big bowl
Of serotonin.

Put the gun to your head
Listen to the silence
Don't care for heaven or hell
Have a smile on your face
Keep your tongue in its place
And have a tale to tell
Of the burning of your soul
So that the heavens shake
For time has come to make
The departure to the other side

© Ali Ashraf