You are a puzzle
A conundrum
An unsolvable enigma
I cannot figure you out
Cannot understand you
And I love that
My lovely enigma

Pain etched in the lines around my eyes
Hot tears washed my face weary
The whites of your eyes still scare me
Every crease of your brow stung
As if you've already swung
Open palm and whistling through the air

I let you do this to me
That was my mistake
I won't make it again

Every fist that bangs on a wall
Slams a door
Punches a hole
Jolts my body
Your face floods behind closed shut eyes
As fear racks my insides
I should have fought back
Now I'm fighting everyone else

I can't tell the difference
Between hands outstretched to help
Between hands reaching to hurt
Good touch, bad touch
Soft or harsh

The lines you've blurred
The edges of my hips
My inner thighs
They burn when I think of you

There's not enough locks to keep you out
You break down all my walls
Punch holes through all my closed doors
You demolished my safe space
Did I let you?

Words hammer behind my teeth
They are cracking

I yearn for your love
But you leave me lacking

I crave soft touch
Only I can't find the right one

Good and evil
waged war in my soul
I can't decide which won

I can't lie like you always have
I'll admit it- I'll tell you true

You hurt me
Deceived me
But still,
I want you

Gather my pieces
Piece me back together

I guess that was another lie,
When you said "forever"

I am your dog on your leash
Go ahead, drag me around

I'm sniffing for my dignity
It can't be found