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once, my mum and dad told me to stop writing
writing is not something to stop, or cause to be discontinued, it still happens, whether or not the hands are working
apologies for rebellion are futile, since words and meaning circle me, leaving no reason to preserve the lack

it only stops when you're dead
and then, it speeds up

-c.j.
Inside the heart of a predator
Lives a little boy
Who once had Dreams
And Hopes
And Laughter
And
Love?

Someone once announced his birth,
Someone once threw a
Party in honor of his life, someone  
Once told him good job!
Someone once must have
Cared?
(of course, I'm only assuming)

At what point did
The sweet, glowing, iridescent
Boy transform into the
Dark, murky, violent
Monster?

What childhood
Nightmare haunted
Him so terribly that it
Had the strength to
Relentlessly push him
Across the
Delicate threshold
From innocent to
Sociopath?

Or....was it just
Always
There?

We’ve all been
Dealt some unsavory
Cards in life.

Some of us use our
Unlucky hands as
Weapons of
Destruction.

Some of us use our
Unlucky hands as
Torches, lighting a
Path of Courage and Rebirth
For others to
Follow.

The predator uses his
Bad luck as a group
Of thugs protecting
His heart.

Yet, within his past
Lives the
Remedy for his
Darkest demons.

All he needs
Is the courage
To face it.

But, predators
Would rather stay
Hidden in the
Dark.
- erika anne
 Nov 2015 Kill me slowly
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 Nov 2015 Kill me slowly
l
I want to speak your language. The language of warfare. Intellectual fornication. Lewd romance.

I want your socio. Your mad scientist. I want your hot breath and the touch of your whip.

I want your contradictions and your lies. Your formulas and numbers. I want your cold, cold hands upon mine.
first posted June 19, 2011. title is Japanese wordplay for "killing the heart"
 Nov 2015 Kill me slowly
a
I once was so much socio
I had a list and ratio
My mind did swarm
With ****** mass
Of who could be
The first to pass.
A lover,
A cheater,
A drunk old wife beater;
Oh,
Only then
Did I realize
I was first on
my list to die.
I wish I missed people.
I feel like by never missing anyone
I demean the relationships I have.
I just can't help it.
Sometimes I wish someone in particular was with me
But those feelings are always short
And fleeting.
By never needing anyone
When I know how much the other person misses me
I feel like I'm not as committed to them as they are to me.
It's not on purpose.
I tell them I miss them when they say it first
but it's always a lie.

Maybe I'm just a sociopath.
 Nov 2015 Kill me slowly
pin
2+2=4
 Nov 2015 Kill me slowly
pin
Always stand against my hurt
Ghost lips on the thigh bite
Always tie my spindle veins wafer thin
Thoughts zoom sync auto pictographs
Words can't lisp sweetly
robotussin giggle about it
Upon my ghost
Always stand against my hurt
Ghost eyes
Ghost spit
Ghost thighs
Always stand against my hurt
Attrition life sustenance
Nutrition
Always stand against my heart
He was Daniel Kingery to the police.

Daniel Overstreet to his friends.

He was Dollar Dan on the streets.

He was Daniel,
he was wet rough kisses and anger and lust to me.

He found me one day,
18 years to his 37,
he found me when i was still a question mark trying to bleed red.
From behind a lens pointed at my naked flesh
he became a man of mystery,
he became the object of my desires.

I was a young, naive girl who got caught up in
how his pockets were always full- he flaunted it.
The flowers and the exotic dinners and the alcohol and the touch...
oh god, the way we fell into bed,
onto chairs,
into walls.

Then i fell in love on a broken sidewalk.

I was blind to the empty shadows in his eyes,
to the lines he had recited,
to the webs on his face.

I made a god out of a sociopath and i called him "love".

I was his ******, his baby blue.

I became wild under his touch,
manic when he gave me his attention,
suicidal at his leaving.

I was a flower that once was his favorite,
but he left me on the windowsill at a slow, burning wilt
and forgot to water me most days.

Why water a flower when you could have a garden?

Have you ever hated what you loved
until even their existence ate at you?

I have.
 Nov 2015 Kill me slowly
Molly
She loves every one of her victims.
From the bottom of her cold well of a heart,
she loves them.

She would never ****
an innocent creature;
they all deserve it.

She stalks her prey,
she gets in close,
they begin to whisper

their evil little secrets.
No one is blameless.
She knows this.

Dig deep enough,
find the truth.
It is soiled.

She slits their throats.
You are released
from your sins,


she ensures them.
Through hot blood,
they promise they love her, too.
My life has been left to puzzle pieces.
until my memory finally ceases.
Wonderful sunsets, and the horrid sunrise.
The shining reflection of hope in her eyes.
You loved him once, you can love him again,
It does not matter how, why or the when.
You took his hope into your hands.
Holding so tightly, he could not stand,
etching your fingers into the strands.
You can't hurt somebody you do not love.
You can hurt somebody who did not know.
I've seen the way she looks at him. Fluttering eye contact that's ever so guilty.
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