"You aren't supposed to step on the cracks, I'll tell on you," I stick my tongue out at his comment and he laughs. I saunter closer to him on the street as we close in on our destination and he wraps his arm around me. We are just about to the pet store when Peter pulls on my hand and stops on the sidewalk. I turn around confused, "What's wrong? Having doubts?"
"No, I just want to make sure you aren't."
"I'm fine, I want to do this. I'm ready, I promise."
"Do you think we're going to fast?"
I laugh and he smiles sheepishly, "I don't want you to get scared again, I don't want to rush you."
"Trust me, Peter, I'm ready for this. Let's get engaged."

We walk hand in hand into the pet store and pick out our little puppy, our ring, and our promise to each other. He's more playful than the others and his right ear won't stay upright. I like his dopy looking half smile and Peter likes his boundless energy.

After we leave the store with our new family member, Peter bends down to look eye to eye with Marshal. I watch him whisper something in his ear and it almost looks as if Marshall nods. I giggle as Peter straightens up and ask him what he had said. Peter turns to me and smiles the same kind of dopy grin Marshall had and says, "Oh I just warned him not to step on any cracks, as I am very fond of this back."

He places his hand on the small of my back and we walk down the street like everything that was meant to be, was being, and we were at the center of it all.

-bcg (we always talked about getting a dog as an engagement ring)

There are two reasons why I still talk to you: you are fun and you make me feel special. However, in the past month or so I’ve started feeling like you talk to me only when you’re bored. Like I’m the person who will always return a text and answer a call. I will always be here to entertain you. I am your person, but slowly you are losing your place as mine. I don’t feel welcome here anymore and I don’t think you really want me.
It’s not that I don’t love you or that I don’t want you, I have never wanted someone more. You are the only thing that has brought joy into my life in months.
But I no longer feel special when I talk to you and even though we’re having fun, I don’t feel good. I’ve been ignoring people who do make me feel special because I have fun with you. The person I talk to every night should want my company and make time for me. I don’t want to be your “sometimes” anymore.

And I’m not asking you to change and I don’t want you to. I fell in love with the man you are and I would never ask you to alter yourself for me. Which is why I’m simply saying goodbye.

We weren’t meant to be and that’s just the way it is. I don’t feel special when I talk to you. I feel small. I feel used. I don’t want to be wanted just when it’s convenient, I just want to be wanted.

-bcg (i’ve told you everything about myself, everything… except this)

"No matter how bad it gets, I'll always have you," I should never had tempted fate with such wasteful words. I should have spent all that time listening to the sound of your voice telling me about your childhood. Telling me about the stuffed animal you slept with until an embarrassingly old age. Telling me about needing to go clothes shopping because you saw someone wearing a button down shirt and you suddenly realized that button down shirts were a thing and you could wear them now because you're a grown up. Telling me to drink my tea and eat the sandwich you made. Telling me about your arguments with your roommate and conversations with your father. Telling me everything I needed to hear. Telling me everything was going to be alright.

I should have shut up and just listened to you then and every other night.  
You deserved more than my wasteful words and your wasted time.

-bcg (you deserved more than me, and what I gave you, but i still miss you, love, i still miss you)

It was a mistake to let me go
because when you come back, saying you've been missing me
I'll say no
because I learned how to be okay all on my own

I want you like I want one of my shows.

When we aren't together I don't want to think about you. I don't want to ponder you, analyze you, or worry about you. When you aren't here, I want nothing to do with you.

But when we are together I want to only be with you. I want to spend hours on you, obsessing over you, binging on you. I want every waking moment to be spent watching you and discovering you and every sleeping moment to be spent dreaming about you.

I want you, but only like one of my shows.

-bcg (binge watching Netflix isn't healthy, but neither are you)

I keep reading quotes about just wanting to be simple with someone. Just wanting to lay in bed and eat pizza with their person. Nothing special, something simple.

That's the stupidest **** I've ever heard. There is nothing simple about being in love.

So I don't want simple.
I want you. No matter what you come with, no matter how complicated it gets, no matter when we end.

I want you and there is nothing simple about that.

She used my name when she spoke to me. Like we would be in the middle of talking about the weather and she would deliberately finish a sentence about the impending rainstorm with my name and all of a sudden this innocent conversation reached a level of intimacy I had only experienced in bed with another person.
It was exhilarating, feeling your name in the mouth of someone like that.
With just the way she forms your name with her lips she could make you want to hold hands and waste away Friday nights in the most cliché romcom way. Every moment was full, every moment was exciting, and every ******* moment was completely and fatally exhausting.

-bcg (excerpt from the book I’ll never write)