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hsn Jan 15
.
coursing my veins
still blades pursue
thin threads of peace
that keep me together
with weak tendrils
of coping habits
that have barely
managed to wrap
themselves around
my flesh and mind
.
hsn Jan 15
.
eyeing down white lines
as i cast away my alien vines
of a foreign brown undermined
01
hsn Jan 8
01
soft foam glides gently
along the pearly shoreline;
gentle, bobbing calm
02
hsn Jan 8
02
a hunger for more,
an insatiable greed
the beast to be whole
fee fi fo fum
03
hsn Jan 8
03
the acme of life
is within the company
of your loved kindred
04
hsn Jan 9
04
the moirai thread life
from it's birth to termina;
the knots of kismet
05
hsn Jan 14
05
frenzied thoughts rushing;
doubtful affirmations, all -
from doubtful people
05
hsn Jan 10
05
odette and odile
the ephemeral swan lake;
chiaroscuro
06
hsn Jan 16
06
that still lunar light;
it shines ever so brightly
in the quiet night
hsn Jan 7
there will the path
towards better things .

yes, there will be moment
where you feel at the
lowest point of your nadir

or feel humiliated about
your own flaws,

but remember
just remember ,

there is light even in the dark
you just have look carefully  .
"towards better things"
hsn Jan 7
as far as i can tell,
it's a waste of time
to give your heart
to people who will
crush it and leave it
to wane and wither
highschool romance is so confusing
hsn Jan 14
i can see the insects up your back
crawling your skin like their colony, picking
on the tender white until it becomes red
your nails, sharp and pearly nails as they
scratch the lumps and everything
and yet despite your efforts, they persist

perhaps you and i have much
more in common than i thought
hsn Feb 5
seeping through brown-riddled veins
flowing a gently fervent stream from
my wrist, a perfect red
dreams of an escape from all of this
turmoil and stress can be attained
through a single temptation from
the acquired gaze of a small blade
haven't done it
but i feel like it
hsn Feb 7
ever-so distant, light chimes in the dark
   it whispers to me from all of this distance
      messages of a sadness evermore in null light;

there is no true spark in the darkness of night
hsn Jan 14
she said: "i'm pretty when i cry"
oh , how i relate to her so deep
for when i tear up, i feel weak
and yet i feel so warm and in
my skin, so comfortable and
all the more scarier through
my convulsing body
at ease
i love you lana del rey
hsn Jan 14
light-bound revered idol in the sky
preaches velvet soft respect for all
and  yet, it seems all too wrong
considering all believe opposite
but then call themselves  
              'saved'
the irony of the religiously psychotic
hsn Jan 8
life is the steel prison that is a birdbox
solemnly, i am the bird that lives within it

and alfresco the cage, the covey glide

i watch everyone take flight and
be able to soar the azure skies
as i stay behind forever and feel
disturbed by stripped wings of calm
once a pariah
forever a pariah

-
hsn Feb 7
my heart is a lie;
a false adoration for
all, but riddled in
silent sharp truths
hsn Jan 7
i've realized that
me weeping out
in the form of ink
and words won't
make a difference
for my betterment

and yet, it feels
all too beautiful
to spread my tears
in the form of art
everywhere i go
hsn Feb 4
burdened on my shoulder rests a green, white flag
it's simplicity, yet it's alien appearance to all these
white blinded people with their white-like-mindedness-
-their morality consumed by (white) promises of humor,
telling me i should go back to where i left for their own sake
my mom tells me, "ignore their words." my father the same.
they wouldn't care since they have already found their kind
within this land of maple leaves and unpromising history
so why do i have to bear the burden of
carrying the flag of the stars for them?
hsn Jan 10
for some reason, the world
loves to block the truth behind
asterisks and black squares
hsn Feb 7
it ruptures within me like a sweet abyss;
to you an undesired whole
hsn Feb 12
how long will you be blinded by glimpses of heaven
before you realize the tainted blood of your words?
hsn Jan 19
why must i hold on to a light
that doesnt approve of me?
hsn Jan 10
two faces, two egos
to my face you tell me everything is fine
for every flaw i perform, for every mistake
and yet, you spit venom behind my back on my name

how funny, am i right?
hsn Jan 14
interwoven bodies everywhere
frightening weights of "love"
they almost make me gag, this
fake admiration for another
and yet, i find myself wishing
for that same close company
all despite my irks
hsn Jan 6
i'm heavy with the burden
of believing in you for face,

when

i want to live without any
regrets or inner struggle
hsn Feb 5
i live in my own mirage of countless bees
and their honey-touched compliments,
the delicate petals they bear—the
only solace i'll find in this sad
dulled hive of a recluse
hsn Jan 7
how long will i have to live,
knowing that i am forever
incapable to attaining the
same feats as the other boys
who stand before me?

how long will i have to cope
with the fact that i will never
cure myself of the boney skin
that have distinguished me
from the fit and the brawn?

how long will i feel my envy,
like violent waves crashing
onto the still shore, brewing
inside of me at the meer glimpse
of his glorious "belonging?"

how long will i stay sorrowful
how long will i stoop down to
my lowest level
and how long will i never try
to change, as if
this sadness is eternal?
hsn Feb 4
a single touch of welcoming
is all i desire, no matter the
strain it will have.
i am for it all
hsn Jan 14
topsy turvy truth
silent lips and shut teeth
sweat swells solemnly  

i beat around the bush

to find the peace of mind
that has fleed in a fearful frenzy
being too afraid to say the truth
hsn Feb 7
i am a beacon of hollow skin
of which you have neglected
with your back turned; a
grand shadow cast
hsn Jan 14
mind is pacing
hands are full
calendar ticking
away towards
bound due dates
sweat in sleep that
no tablefan can fix
thoughts of
exams and fears
reoccuring torment
of embarrasing moments
that i want to keep away

why must this be the life
god has carved for me?
wrote this in msip
hsn Dec 2024
kitchen counter riddled in grey marble
a fragrance of burning wood and candy
solar blessings filtered into linear lines
fruits spread in an ikebana rainbow
a jar of sickly saccharine sugar atop
a syrupy taste lingers in that air

i long to breathe it in once more
that sweet air of my grandma's
house from all these 11,285
kilometres away from home
and ten years from those
first moments of life
hsn Jan 15
i am forever a balance of weakness and soft skin
with scales forever still as a statue, carrying the
burdens of heavy insecurities that i can
never comprehend and understand
hsn Feb 12
i.
basilisk of steel
blades of fury
brisk justice
broken pact

this life is a maid of iron,
and i am the trapped husk
hsn Jan 6
in the mirror

my body morphs into the male fantasy

bones to muscle, muscle to brawn
skin sturdy, many a mind merit

perfect teeth, the perfect male face
one to please the crowd, to forget
the harmful dysphoria plague

oh, to be the reflection in the mirror
hsn Jan 15
HIS dream of gold
is mistaken for dirt
that taints the hearts
of the most clement
hsn Jan 14
accumulation of outer thoughts
build the mind of a fragile husk
quietly, they have been shaped
to what they are now; the effects
of a mindless egregore called influence
hsn Jan 10
perhaps only when i can finally be able to blend
with the others, then i can live a life of          ease
hsn Jan 14
i finally feel welcome
and yet, it's not
the welcome i
truly want

it's like spike hugs
or poisonous kisses
the midas touch
withering sunlight

i feel almost too much
at ease now, as if
they have never thought
of me as anything other
than weak
being acquainted with the people you trust the least
hsn Feb 7
seething rage through metal bars
teeth bared like razor sharp knifes
an inferno builds up inside me,
a heat red under my own skin -
as you still and watch
mouths open in folly;
a circus lion to an audience
hsn Feb 7
aureate muscle of the
masculine dream, the
collective mind of many

it glows in the light
like a perfect bloom -
a grand yellow around
every young boy

i stand and watch it glow
with the dream laced
within me, but with
a shamed rose gold;

the stigma of men
is difference
hsn Jan 8
poisoned youth rest along the grey
heralding you their saviour
their freedom, their salvation
and yet you stride by as the
missiles fall and bombard the land,
their black, green, red, and white haven,
now with tainted blood and sickness
free gaza
hsn Jan 14
an awkward feeling
that is buoyant belittlement
watching them converse
directly in front of me

im sharing a space
in contemplation
weither or not i
should leave or not
when u sit with your friend and their friend at the same time
hsn Jan 15
feelings mistaken for harsh statements
and deepest thoughts concealed through
faux fur and a desire for understanding
hsn Jan 16
it feels all to awkward
listening in to the chimes
of others as i sit silently
wondering why i even bother
socializing when there is no point
of me including myself within
their laughs and jokes
hsn Jan 15
you glow in the night like silver satin
and i watch in utmost admiration while
stroking my skin of rusted steel; how
i wish i could live in your skin
hsn Feb 7
up in a chokehold by lifes cold hands
color draining slowly from my eyes
everything now in black and white
i've been alone for so long now,
in this solitary coffin of mine
hsn Jan 14
i long for the pinnacle of comfort
to be remembered and cherished
even in sleep and away from all
inspired by sparks from coldplay
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