You are bound by frayed strings
Latched onto my heart
Rip them out and I'll feel the sting
Of the end replacing a start.

I'm sorry I'm so fragile
And for the way I wither without you
My heart sings for you still
But I know your chest is mute.

The past is a mirror
We look in to find
Whether you are gone or here,
You are always on my mind.

i've been having recurring dreams
of the beach
last night you were there too
lying in the shore, just me and you

the drink you poured all over me
missing the love we shared
but so you remind me, it was never there
loveless records play on repeat

so it was lust
wrapped in a gentle breeze
with each exhale we must
remember what we want to be

these words are growing tired and old
and my hands have gotten frigid and cold
this has been going on for far too long
replaying like some worn out song

the radio sings to me
these stupid songs they always repeat
i cannot wait to meet
the one to set me soaring free.

it's fleeting

why waste your words
on one who wont ever hear
who wont really care
when the sentences fall in line
with the scars on your wrist
and when the period comes
before the comma
to send your fairy tales a different way home.

i've been biting at my fingernails
until their crescent white is gone
and i've been leaving you trails
on how to get past this over-stretched yawn;
a hiccup in our story

have you ever laid at the spine of a tree,
looked up
and saw the leaves?
they're falling, but not for us,
no, they fall for a greater cause
the change of november
will swallow you whole
spit you out
and leave you
alone

Your hands untied the noose
Without even knowing what it was
Everything you do, irony shades it's hue
We seem to embrace that chapter of life
That begins with us.

That jagged birthmark across your back
Where my fingers dance
Your eyes dialate, that cool black
Into my heart, your seed still plants.

Watching your fingers slide against the strings
My muse has returned
He listens when I sing
Shaking off his winter sunburn

do you listen for the things that are not there?
sighs in the dark, in the cold crisp air.
there is not life among us, here.
sheathe your long-life'd fear.

keep it simple, dear one
lose yourself in the dark night
find yourself in the bright lights
spend your evenings chasin' the sun

recover from the emptiness
decaying from within
you must accept, not suppress
the bottom echoing again.

and when you've found it,
the place of no return
there's no doubts about it
forward you must go, so you will begin to learn

about a world lying at your feet
above everything you've been running from
all these years, they've been dying to meet
your shining heart, and it's reverberating hum

don't question the facts,
young one
sit back and relax,
bite your tongue.

I am fragile today
And my skin sparkles with sweat
The odor follows me around like a shadow
And I am left in the hallway with little more to say.

Sunlight sprinkles through the leaves of cedar trees
And we scatter like ripples
Upon a stagnant shore
Betrayal marks the embodiment of humankind

Torn paper to lace your lungs in tar
Your existentialism runs to a close
As your mind hollows, and your eyes begin to cloud
The angels above scream for you to stay.

Silhouettes of organisms lost at sea,
An ocean of shame
Skeletons of dignity
Line the shore

You broke the bones
Of a hundred gleaming soldiers
Fighting for peace and hating for love
Keep your eyes closed.

that man has got a blade for tongue
his vocals slipping off into the slum
he speaks with vigor
and empty voice of debilitation
the mouth of the rancid giver
he develops the destruction of communication

slashing tires just for fun
this golden child is on the run
from disabilities better classified as demons
losing his breath for the rising sun

the open eyes are clear to see
what is unfolding
right in front of me
a path to the future,
a gaping aperture;
there are a million things to say
but none of them match the light of day

i've been silent for quite a while now,
but here's some thought for the why's and how's
keep your soul trapped in the skin
until the day we are whole again.

knives behind my eyes and
blood dripping from my skin
here comes the feeling we
thought we had forgotten

the wolves are watching me with
hungry, angry eyes
from the darkness in my mind
they linger quietly, waiting to strike

i got blood on your sheets,
i got a ransom on my neck
nooses and blades all sing
for me to utilize them

piano keys light the way home
trains are screaming from a mile away
80 miles aint too far to go
from a home where i should've just stayed

i have your name on the cuts on my arm and legs
i stopped with the ravaged skin on the newly tattooed wrist
here we are, us lowly dregs
i still can remember the first time we kissed,
like it was yesterday

fingers intertwined
like bodies in the night
warm smiles fight the vacant eyes
staring back at me

i hate the way i can't live without you
and how you couldn't care less
but you say you love me, do you,
we used to be limitless

codeine in her veins and
tobacco on her tongue
she's just a bit insane
but she loves the fresh air in her lungs
and the wind in her hair
her heart's still there
beating on,
everything that is
has still begun

your eyes are a mirror to mine
a simple spell of love or lust
we will know the difference in time
we can share the pillows and keep the door shut
we can bathe each other and maybe fall in love

the breeze comes to cool you when you get too warm
let me be your wind
to carry you gently, embracing your full form
you look right through my faults and sins

you are tender and intoxicating,
alive and thriving,
in your own world, that you'd love to share
i'm hoping that maybe you'll be the one to care
about all my dreams and inquisitions
for more than a body and ****** positions

i'll tell you my secrets and all the fleeting stories
you'll listen with brown eyes closed
while we lay together in your bed under crisp sheets
the summer air is humid and greeted us as we rose

smoke in our lungs and beer down our throats
this is the place that i love the most
here with you, sincere and true
doubting you is something i'd never do

so miles apart and roads stretched wide
we link our hearts and pocket our pride
turns out you're the only thing on my mind
falling for you like the rain from the sky.

the evening sun kisses me goodbye
when the smoke rises
and tears fall

come over and stay
for just a little while
we can watch the rain fall
with our brown eyes

i'll make you tea
with ice cubes in it so as not to
burn that heavenly mouth
i found a home in months ago
but you packed my bags and through them
out on the curb,

foreheads pressed together with your eyes locked on mine,
you say "stay strong"
when you are my sole weakness

white powder and green flakes
oceans rush in after your wake
i can't stop with the poisoned lungs
and the blisters
or the lines on my throat

angels and devils
all lined up to see me fall
this was nothing
to you

stretch marks concave like valleys
little pink and red lines along your thighs
the marks you could not fantasize
began to look more and more like reality

your toes curl at the sight of them
and your world stops at the taste of him
the ringing in your ears doesn't stem
from the restless binge
drinking him in.

walking under weeping trees
for their tears to drown in me
the flavor doesn't stay for long,
but god, does it taste good.

Life's a masterpiece with you in it
And I never had a lover more dear than death
But it seems I want you more than I ever did that darkness
That silence
But there is something to be said for
The tight grip of your arms and
The lines left on your back
Those lines are my best poetry.
I would like to make you ethereal in writing
The way my mother did my widowed step father
But softer, much softer this time around
She always said I was her replacement in the world
And I was to be the better side of her
A second chance at success, or so I thought
A second chance at love, is what I think she meant
Should the dreams of night grasp me again
Remember that I always prefer the reality of you

am i your curse
or just steps to rehearse
for the girl who will sweep your heart away
i guess i lie when i say "i'm okay"

because its hard to live life on the edge
where i'm falling faster,
my arms outstretched
were you the wrong heart to go after?

all i want is to be the wings
to keep your heart in the clouds
to be the one to set you free
from all the pain you've been bound.

but am i the cancer,
the shackles on your ankles?
love has so many answers
from each different angle.

i want to be
your only
key.

with your hands between my thighs,
and your eyes on mine,
i do not see the past.
i see a future that we could have.

but this future is dead and gone,
i guess you could say it's all my fault.
when i say i'm confused,
it's because i don't know if i'm now losing
all that's left to lose.

have i dug myself a grave
or has this come a part of a plague
of give and take,
of shallow little mistakes

is it coming around
going around
karma looping in its intricate sounds
have i lost it all?

have i done something so terribly wrong
or is it something that just doesn't belong
looking for a way out, but this dark hallway stretches for so **** long

these words are rigid and plain
but in truth, their motives are driving me insane
sometimes it all just goes down the drain
leaving you with nothing but guilt and pain

is it my fault, or is this just a dream?
a lapse in concentration
and nothing's as it seems
lost in this timeless, endless conversation

Dropping with the temperature
Those little noises your pet makes
Building space in structure
Where do you fall when the ground shakes?

And your words grow heavier over time
They leak in through my shoulders
Break their way into my spine
it was nice today, but now it's grown colder

Here are my lamentations
In red, blue, green
No time for the lonely situations
That my eyes have only seen.

Oceans gray with a purple hue
I am trying to erase you.
Pens and markers- their ballpoint blue
I am trying to forget you.

The flames keep eating away
At this broken story of ours
The smoke builds towers
Like pleads for help to the sky

No matter how we toss and turn
These embers still burn
In this loveless nighttime
In the brisk air of day

I can't get it right since I met you
And oceans still beg for me to stay
But I am soaring on in my own way

When will this loneliness be over?

melancholy souls encased
behind the glass of the faceless
they see in but not out
drowning in a introspective about-face
they never sit still

it gets so bright out here you can barely see
when the sunlight kisses the snow white
you haven't seen the last of me
wait until i creep into your dreams at night
and slowly make my way through your veins
meshing with your cells
i'll build a garden in your rib cage
and spend the night in your entrails
and in the end, if all else fails
i'll leave a lock of my hair safe in your heart
just know i've been digging holes in there from the start

when the city sleeps
and you're wide awake
the time grows deeper
when you've got no way to escape

the shadows all around you
dance and sing your name
in dysphoric shades of tones
he can't tell you what to do
with the feelings you've tried so hard to tame
forget that itch in your bones
it's time to go home.

for you, i hold nothing but contempt;
full of lies and hateful words.
i regret every single day i spent
every single voice of yours i heard.

it might as well be ******
in an oasis of *** and fantasy
and you didn't listen when i'd murmur
at your hand, i lost all sanity.

my prime weakness,
my ultimate curse
the karma, it seeks us
leads us to our hearse.

I see you
With your distant eyes and lazy stare
I follow you
Through demise and through despair
Though we know not of it yet
There will come a time where our sun is set

And when it comes I will be here
Waiting for you endlessly, without fear
Something you carry deep within;
It won't let you love again.

So I know our differences are laid aside
For our familiarity is something hard to find.
As the sun rises high, only to set in time
I wait for you endlessly, without reason, or rhyme.

The winter solstice went as soon as it came
With startled stunned eyes it raced back to its corner
When you came into my life
And the sun hasn't stopped shining since.
There are sixty-five hundred ways one can say the same thing
And I'd happily say them all
Every language and every day
I would learn it all for you
History repeats itself in meaningful ways
But in the priceless moment of change
There is absolute harmony
You and I are two collisions in perspectives that
Mingle together like reeds in the sea
The once bitter taste of dawn has turned to
Sweet- reality is better now than I can dream
I want my atoms to know yours better than themselves
And in my words there will be no end
As infinity knows time I will know your pain
Soft as a ravens feather I will brush it away
With a smile solely for you

the sun turned my trees orange and
the skies match your ignorant hue
yeah so it goes
cut off all your hair
paint your nails a new color
scrub the dirt off your face
theres nothing underneath
yeah so it goes
drink all the cough medicine
and call him again and again
listen to an answering machine
until you can sing the lines
with pristine excellence
so it goes
read your book and write your prose
till the snow melts below you
it washes you away
the marks on your skin wont make a difference then
the itch in your groin wont raise a finger
so it goes
the world is turning round and round to a
nightmare
papers burning, scattering in the winter winds
*******

I'll try for myself, and this self only
For this one is dedicated solely to me.
With auburn hair ******* in a bun,
This angel knows not the sight of a gun
She once chewed the barrel, she was barely the age of three,
The taste of the metal and scratches on her teeth.
Overcast sky and the smell of rain
She has fled from the souls that drive her insane
With warm down blankets, she now sleeps alone
But she misses those lovers, she had barely known.
They used her and played her without a clue
Not a **** idea of all the good she could do
Because in a boy's eyes she is merely an object
But it's about time I get off this subject.

Belief in temptation, responsible fees
She had a subtle inclination that he would fall to his knees
Upon the sight of her, so full and so proud
A blessing to this world and the universe abound.
She listens with patience and unconditional care
She only picks flowers to put them in her hair.
She is delicately different, in all the right ways
But no one can see her in the light of day.
As it shows her true colors, all kindness and love
And these children in this town know nothing of the above.
You cannot see colors in the spectrum of light
Until you've lost it all, in the dead of the night.

i've found my own succubus
******* the life from me word by word,
dollar by dollar,
tear by tear

they sold my mom's house
as i signed the consent form
i felt like i was selling my childhood
for something like 16,000

bold figures, i'll have all i need
enough to make any dream closer to reality
except for you

no no not that again
this isn't poetry,
these are streams of consciousness
spilling from my finger tips and eye lids

i think they got the wording wrong,
when they said
"absence makes the heart fonder"
i think they meant to say
"absence makes the heart somber."

i would do anything to have you back under my skin
i gotta stop thinking about you, man.

follow you around with the pen
little traces of ink mark your every movement
little dribbles of darkness lost in the snow
where you buried me, so very far below

i've been trying to find the perfect words
to bring you back to me
so i keep sending you little makeshift pleas
but you swear up and down you've heard it all before

black and red up and down the pores of my skin
swollen knuckles and raised fingerprints
your attention sweeps through the tangles in my hair
i keep trying to see if you still care.

i'm sorry i can't leave you alone, no
because where your footsteps follow, the sun has shone
pressed against the windowpane
my eyes still search for you
lost in the crowd, faces without names
it hurts to say i wont be seeing you soon.

i bite my tongue often
regularly grind my teeth
like butterflies, they slip out of your fingers
right as you caught them
they want you to bury it all beneath
and ignore what hollow ache lingers

hurtful words spew from a once-love's lips
my jaw aches
the ego stays intact
don't know where my bones will fit
live with my mistakes
the time has come to face the facts

misuse of vibrant words
wasted on the deaf
tell me, have you heard
about how my life is just a mess?

where are you now
in this great big world
are you leaving flames for footsteps
and burning down this town
can you remember to a time
where our words weren't like daggers and
our hearts weren't coal?

can you live without me so easily
three words so eloquently said
holding the world in their little white hands
"i miss you," i say, with utter defeat
i can feel it from my toes,
all through my body heat.

am i forgotten as swiftly as i came,
like the words you said that took my breath away
under blankets and blood stained sheets,
we spent our nights together, incomplete.

could you stay for a little while longer?
i could really use the extra time.

take a deep one
before you try again
smile to yourself as you
break the walls that have a clue
as to why you have no more muse

now have some fun
as you meet your heaven
and remember all you can do
when even your lungs have failed you
fight what the tide of life ensues

only you need to hold your hair back,
when you spew up all the words you never could say
and don't you depend on anyone whose soul fades to black
when you talk about the things you went through the other day

you just dont want to, simple as that
when you pretend that maybe you may
forget her and all of that past
the pursuit of love is senseless at this age

maybe honesty isn't always best
when the heart could break into such a mess
it always takes so long to clean
refresh, make yourself free
better than you were before the greed

sometimes i think it's better to forget
and pretend they did exist, you never met
say they weren't a major piece
of your life, your internal peace
straighten out that crease
he left inside you.

It takes a lot to say nothing
I'm coming to find that my soul has been screaming my whole life
And I am just now able to translate its tongues
Into some sort of verbal *****
That a human could possibly understand
I have never felt like a true part of this socially structured civilization
I have never felt like a homosapien shaped by its surroundings, its perception
Instead I have felt like a source of energy that flows without molecular or even atomic ties to this universe
Confined to a physical form in a four dimensional realm
If you cleave away the ego, you can feel the infinite
I have so much more to say,
And I have struggled my whole life in finding things to say
That matter, that are relevant
And I've come to realize that my soul has been screaming my entire life
And I am finally able to translate the tongues
Into something meaningful to say.
You may not hear the divinity in the language I use
You may not feel the sincerity in my soliloquies
But I do, and my perception is what shapes my reality
And only I can save me, now
The selfishness in the selfless
And the hollowed out remains of the empath
I can't be the only one who hears this piercing noise?
And this sickness that runs through the planets veins?
The agonized cry of every species on the earth harmonized into the humming vibration some call the will of god
Our pain is ricocheting through the void we reside within
An echo chamber of screams
I do not believe in hell because it cannot get worse than this.
No, not this moment, you may have misunderstood
The progression of these moments will lead to an inevitable end
An end to end every beginning
I am not the only one who knows that the dead are just no longer physically present
I am not the only one who knows that humans are parasites
I am not the only one who can feel the agony of someone I have never come across
Simply because
Our souls all scream on a frequency
That only those who truly listen can hear.

your absence creeps
all around me
when i fell to the ground
you did not help me to my feet

i should have known it
the first time around
aware by the original sound
of her name leaving your lips;
while i was the one you were sleeping with

this is how the truth will hit
home, it shatters your dreams
so lie down, try to forget about it
because loves like this
are never as they seem.

I'm blown away by the serendipity of life and death.
You know when you get some ink on your skin
In memoriam of someone whose last breath
Was taken by the reaper; your barriers got broken-
Where am I going with this again?

I'm amazed by how the light circles the dark in intricate patterns
Like the way our eyes capture spectrums,
That the rest of the world can't even fathom.
I'm trying to express the way the universe comes together,
In alignment to where it's supposed to be.
Before chaos ensues and the ends fray and we lose grasp of the tethers
Holding us together.

so it begins
where i love you more than you
love me
and it was destined
to happen again
this is where "i love you, too"
starts to mean more than what you see

i keep spurting out these words
i know i smother you
i know i am disgusting
but your voice is the only one
i wish to have heard
say it to me, too
when my heart is left begging
but she is still your rising sun

i cant stop
with what i want to give you
i want
to love you
to death

this city will be frozen solid
by the next break of day
chandeliers and crystals of ice
shatter in the winter winds
my eyes are wide as the horizon
open and close them with your puppet strings
keep them closed, keep them closed

make a mess of the things you left behind
turn off the electricity and
freeze yourself to death
and after you swallowed the last of your health
be sure to say your prayers
to whatever it is you see

heavy eye lids ache and burn
from the sight of you, behind them
dried words sulk along the page
and lethargic actors play along the stage

when the snow melts
and washes away your name
bury the ashes of us in the ground
never to be seen again

the only passion i have
is found in words and love
tears and blood
there is no rhythm
like the one your heart beat plays

the silence is intimidating
crushing you from the inside out
loneliness creeps
from each corner you forgot to dust
nothing happens around here

so the air grows stagnant
around our soft little shell of a planet
the ground the abdomen,
the trees the appendages
there's not much of a difference between us,
after all.

i can smell you sometimes
i can taste you anytime
even though you're not around,
when i need you

hawaiian flowers light my eyes up in that way that men used to
instead of breaking me apart the way that dead leaves crunch beneath heavy boots
i've never been met halfway in the sense of love
as i am always chasing, giving, unfolding, while they are
closing, solidifying, lying

so i too became rocks, but i glittered in the sun light
i was a ruby, red as dripping blood,
but oh so blue, like that fluid, still in your veins
i greeted the selfish with open arms and legs
and let them enter me with hardly a fight
not saying i should've,
never said i was a saint

soon enough i opened another eye
and looked at someone with more than just my mind
he turned away before i could show him
a world he had never known.

and here i am,
alone again
waiting, playing
bored and aroused
internally screaming
for someone to save me.

I was the strike to make your flames ignite
And your skin could be marble in it's magnifence
You were the first to come to sight
And from then on I was lost in your potence.

The rain has come for us and the thunder made it's way home
Birds will sing with us,
Chiming with a gracious tone,
They got their fix, they lost their loneliness

Companionship in the summertime
Is as sure as the shadow before the substance.
I pieced together the little things marked as signs
You can lay back in the overhang while I lose myself to the warm rain and dance

You can watch me with a gleam in your eye
But I'll never know the thoughts that soar through that mysterious mind
And I'll drench you in love and adoration
When the morning comes, I'll be beside you, holding on to blossomed conversation.

You are the frigidity in my bones
I am consumed by you,
Like the way the autumn moans,
And succumbs to the winter moon.

I love you from your eyes to your entrails,
your mind to your skin so pale.
From the depths of your ribs
to the safety of your skull.
Your sins, your blessings,
you as a whole.

and time is moving faster
the night has grown long
my heart a slave, your touch the master
you make my skin sing the loveliest of songs.

i could not begin to bring up
where i end
and you begin
you are all i need, but you've had enough

so let me fade away
from the place you gave me in your heart
i promise the words i say
will end as soon as they could start

hate this and i'll love you
all the same
that word's got me up all night

i don't even want something new,
no, for you are the rain
washing away the blight
of loneliness

I'll write it to you
Since there's no one else listening
But I'm not even sure you are, too.
When you're gone, something is missing.

I know it's all been said before
But I can't quite get it out of my system
I'm sure you know what it's like; standing behind closed doors
That hopelessness we get when we miss them.

I know you know what I mean
All you wanted was to be loved
So go, wash your body clean of me
Sometimes it's all we can do, when push comes to shove.

I want you there in my most intimate of times
I want you so much closer.
Here I go again with these ****** rhymes,
Unsynchronized disposer.

Come over, make yourself at home
Share a cup of tea with me.
We don't have to go at this alone,
We can't shoulder this animosity.

Soaking in your old bath water
That detachment you got fueling
Reminds me of my father.
The way you look at me so coolly.

You are the sunshine
Peeking through my curtains
Good morning, good night
Could we make amends?

m not suicidal or anything, i just really want to die

reflection in the water, look between the lines

see the difference between being here and being alive.

i got nothing left to say

been sitting on my lonely *** all

******* day

from summer, to fall

nothing has changed.

i’m still on this precipice

you’re still tired

of me and my explosive fits

you have this patience i can admire.

my lungs are full of disintegration

and my heart has been screaming all day

give me a sign, some sort of revelation

give me something more to say.

you threw me away
wish i could do the same
cause baby you'll never hate me
the way i do

ocean shores are begging for me
to come and drown at sea
don't really care what comes as eternity
how bout you?

you told me not to hate it
just go ahead and change it
well babe i've sure been trying to tame it
could you do the same?

watch me as i go
down a loophole, i'll put on a show
you are my high, you are my low
i'll go away now

of all the love i have come to make
and all the hearts i'm yet to break
there is something so subtle in the way our eyes meet
when you're skin is my skin, and you are a part of me

the hazel green, and stubble on your chin
my mortal machine, lovers drenched in sin
is it electricity or madness
where felicity finally left behind the sadness
i cannot wait to see you again.

i hope that water leaks from faucets onto our skin together.
i hope that we can lay in bed and shake the mattress with our laughter.
i hope the heartache we've known, well it just won't matter.
let the boundaries fearlessly shatter
for us and all the mindless chatter

you're sweeter than smoke in my lungs and
i wish you were here.
awake me, give me touch, cause i've been so numb and
i wont watch you disappear.

my room sighs with the loss of you
the love it saw between cold sheets
lingers no more
the pillow sobs its last
when it realizes it will hold your head no longer
blankets curl up, lonely
knowing it will not wrap around you again

your warm skin felt like the summer breeze
every cell sang in unison
for the passion they recalled
your mouth is a sea of irrevocable mistakes
just give me one more taste

your fingers in and around me
played me like the puppet i am
where guilty pleasures are all we know
the crack of hollow bones

my body is useless
without yours beside it

the eyeliner
i left on your pillow
will haunt you
for days

the system
is breaking down
i cannot see straight anymore
the mystery
is an open frown
i cannot feel bad for a sorry *****.

scream the words like you cannot
speak any softer
and remember how i fought
for you to love me after
i stabbed you in the neck
with my depressive borderline destruction

do not break
my darling soul
live past me
and love

do not hate
my love is full
run away, fast from me
and the angels call from above

so now
i will suffer without you
find myself in the whiskey
lose myself to the keys
they print out letters to feel for

leave me alone
you said, with bitter emphasis
i cant stop crying
i cant stop victimizing
hate me until i
finally can curl up
and die

wrap those lovely fingers
tight around my throat
let me collapse
in your grasp
oh my only one left
why are you like this

why didnt i **** me
when i had the chance
bottles upon bottles
of ****** weapons
to ruin a life
or take it all away
why didnt i **** me
when i had the chance

i hope these pills take it all away
one for you, one for me, the other 33
for all the words i couldn't say
here is my epilogue, i hope
you read it

maybe they should have put me in the hospital
when they had the chance
maybe i'm just meant to be a patient
sleeping in the morgue
disembowel me with your finest of tools
i'm not sure my organs
are quite worth it
anymore