you've got the night
love just like words
hope inside,
feel the fingers, gone

that long old broken look
you'll hold loose
stay in bed
with your tree dreams

the world came to forget,
apart from remembering,
the sound leaves tears.
dead, hard, growing bones

wont meet that man,
lips like air,
drown, dear

faces watch
arms run
lungs hide
breathe, die.

i wish burning hearts closed
pretty smoke, tired scars
your clouds breath shattered,
lay, wait

god met ashes,
the sky turned hopeless
sick of leaving stars
snow sheets make no difference anymore

walk, smile.
grasp the breeze, gentle.

loneliness does not equate to a lack of love
paths are to be followed,
not to be spoken of
when it's all over, when all is said and done
all that is left are the echoes
of all the lives you have touched

hey man,
you alright?

i got a lot on my mind
and this pinch in my side.

well tell me why,
you don't gotta bottle it all up

too many words and
too little time
i can't really tell down from up
because i'm perfectly insane
in all the right ways
i seem to fit this sort of criteria
of how many tears i've cried
and lives denied.

well you know i'm here for ya,
i don't quite know what to say,
except it'll all be okay

but that's the thing man, it wont
because it gets bad before it gets good
and it gets good so it can get bad
i have felt much less love that i have shown
but that's all good cause i don't get all that i should
i don't know, man, i just get kinda sad
sometimes i kinda miss my mom and dad

but they were ****, weren't they?
and you know, that's okay.

you gotta quit saying that
because it's not alright, not okay
i've gotten so tired and lonely and fat
not much else to say
i'm gonna go now man
see you another day.

left on the phone line
wouldn't know their heart was breaking
over their own knee, in with the car key
the ignition, the ride,
their simple lies that everything's just fine

over the bridge
or through the trees
down the mountains
or into the sea

hey man,
you alright?

the little games your mind plays, like when daddy screamed about how much he loved the windshield wipers in that old, old car. it is probably a mere scrap of metal now. you spent the afternoon on a bridge, in the forest, now your fingers are slow and a vibrant cold against the warmth of your kitchen. my first memory is a photograph. it gets easier to be alone the longer you are, i have found. we see the same constellation every night, Aryan lined up to greet us as soon as night falls. he takes over her like ivy on trees, wrapping its tendons tight around the skin, suffocating, asphyxiating. they say every person has a mind of their own, the contest between strangers; who can hold the steadier gaze? do your eyes glaze over at the sight of a smile? or do you match it with one of your own? the interaction between strangers is my purest form of socialization, the ease, the comfort.
the little games your mind plays, playing tricks on you all **** day.

Welcome to mount hopeless
Where rocks tumble, crumble at your feet
Where ropes to carry you turn to ***** nooses
Leaving you with nothing but bruises.
Uncertainty holds you captive,
With fallen angels you'd never hope to meet.

Hard falls to the solid ground,
The hounds of hell compell you.
Create your monster from little white lies
Till it gleams with your webs of *******.
Lost, but never found
Your kind was born to lose.
Fuel your future with worn, tired sighs
Try your damnedest to forget it.

The skies are grey with fog
Blurred between the lines
Separating reality from your dreams
And the temperature drops
Along with your binds
And all that remains are the seams

Of a life once promised,
Of lungs that could feel
The summer breeze from
Beneath the trees, the fallen leaves
All the truth we compromised.

it's harder, now, to let the thoughts flow
now that i've learned to let the bad parts go
and where the pen meets the page,
it seems that i've finally broken out of the cage
that held me hostage for so long,
another day, another song.

the ocean doesn't call out to me anymore,
to take me away to the void
and maybe I've become this sorry *****,
but almost all those demons, i have destroyed
they lingered in my core
waiting to take over

And they did, for the time being
a past so infinitely profound,
i feel like a blind man, for the first time, truly seeing
all the light around
i am lonely but i am whole,
no longer an empty shell, no longer sorry and cold

no apologies for the people i let down,
because they never would stick around
even after they visit me in a hospital room,
after my impenetrable doom.
the sadness was so engulfing,
and the wounds would not stop pulsing
to remind me of all the souls lying
in the ground, in urns
they were all trying
but can never return
they are angels now
they are found in the clouds,
the sea, the trees
they are living on in you and me.

we all fight different battles,
but in the end we bleed the same.
i remember the love i found back in seattle,
and i'll never forget his name.

First one, should have been the last
but now our love is left in the past
a future that holds a new reality
to keep you in the present, with complete totality.
my lips are cold
my heart is full
of longing for what once was,
but excitement for what will be.

no hurry, no rush,
the words will one day break free.

become a statistic,
another number in the game
with those newborn chemicals routing through your veins
like trees shooting through your skin.

my knuckles bled for the loss of them
and the paint spilled across the canvas
like arguments that never found the end
broken moments pass
all on your own

i know it well
the taste of your mouth
and the pressure of your grasp
i know it well
the hatred you spout
the tranquil that never lasts

constellations of marks on the flesh
minutes come and hours mesh
between the sands of time we writhe
only to find our hope buried in our minds

it's been lack-luster lately
the sunshine doesn't warm you
the way it did in the summer
and the oceans still beg
for you to come out to see
what lingers at the bottom
of the deepest parts of the sea.

i could've lost myself to the tides,
but instead i found the blade
and the blood had to dry
before the knot was made

accept that you've lost him and
you're not getting him back, no
you never needed a man
to tell you where to go.

Everything I say bounces off the walls in your brain.
The drink made you insane-
I've seen it once, I see it again,
I prepare myself for another bitter end.
It's relentless, it's hopeless
The way you give in
It's just like how my mother made you
Bury yourself in sin.
It's my childhood all over again.
Everyone tells me I don't deserve this;
I didn't deserve any of it.
I'm not a *****,
But I'm *******,
Microwave your mind's eye
And I'll be busy rebuilding mine.
It's a level of a detachment
That mingles wth dissociation.
The creak of the wheel turning in your head-
It's falling off the track.
You are not my father
When you are drunk.

what can i say
the bitter cold has a way
of etching words of sorrow
into your bone marrow

i liked the way you breathe
always so gentle
even when your heart is lashing out at me
i thought i had it handled
the way i fall in love completely
or not at all
you wouldn't even meet me
at the train station, so i walked

everyone says i should be angry
but no, i am just so sad
loss holds a heavy weight upon me
not enough to anger me, just enough to drive me mad

what more can i say,
when you have a way
of feeling your thoughts so deep
never having time for anyone else to keep.

my fixation is
slowly fading away
and its ties to my heart
are fraying at the end

i can breathe again
for myself,
freedom comes in increments
starts with gnawing at your own teeth
and writing for yourself

i hope my silence leaves you empty handed
and you will know then what you had
when you forced my love to disbandment
for a while there, i was pretty sad.

but i'm moving past you now
like a stream smoothing over the rocks
while your head is up in the clouds
i'll be learning how to talk
again

you made me mute
in your torment
our one sided theories face the refute
i will no longer remain silent.

i will embrace the air like
a long lost relative
abandoned by the sands of time
i gave all i had to give
and now i will reclaim what is mine

winter froze us solid, solitary
i am no longer by your side
the omen calls.
hoping for something different;
oh, how useless.
unordinary and bold,
the time between us grows.

yes, i am alright without you
okay, i know you're hurt
unforgiven sins lay barren

its all over

all of the evening sunsets
mindbending in their infinity

fear and love
impeccably, are two very different things
never risk where
empathy lies

when i'm singing
i hear that little drawl
that you have when you let your melodies go
and you've moved your way into my veins
reduced me to an empty crawl
and i am shrinking, watching your embers grow

we move together under blankets of
regretful submission
and resentful *******
and it fits like cinderella's long lost shoe
her prince came to take her away
but i'm still crawling,
longing for you

you see my eyes gazing back at yours,
don't you?
can you see how much i adore
everything about you?
those shoulders covered with your
softly shadowed skin
rise and fall above me, you're
all that i need

Write a poem.

your words are ethereal
they keep me solid
red wine, aged since 1990
keeps you lingering in my mind

i can't see past your brown eyes
they're my blue skies
big enough to be mirrors
to my empty soul

what would we do
if we spent hours with each other
speak in tongues and
writhe together over love lost

the weight of your angel wings
is sending shivers down my spine
open windows and shady trees
sentences that do not rhyme

i can't let you go
with your open arms
that keep me on my level
the oceans sigh for us
the sand tumbles over itself
keep me out of harms way
when i drown my tears
in the blood red

you and your
bad news
look me in the eyes
and tell me something new

you say the pain will pass with time
but i can't please you
the way i used to

if you're going to call me easy
for giving all i have to give
then perhaps you don't deserve my pleasantries
i'm not quite sure where to begin.

formidable in your fleeting ways
i come crawling from beneath the sheets
of the earth's gentle waves
my lips trailing down
from your head
to your feet

and maybe this love is dead,
darling
but that's no reason to say what you have said.
scarring
my thighs and taciturn wrists
my heart goes racing after
the taste of your lips

letting go ain't so easy
for this star crossed lover
for you, it seems as simple as breathing
while i lie under covers
in your bed
in your home
on your street
on my knees
i'm running red
now, why don't you pick up the phone

it appears i've caught a cold
in those winter winds
it appears my antics have grown old
after all, i'm just a kid

what are you, where are you,
my lovely young wanderer?
i didn't mean to smother you
possessive is just part of my nature.

where you tread
alive or dead
i will follow you.

where do words come into the mix
of the body of lust and
the simple little fix
of you inside of me
and me entangled with you
it wont take me too long to see
that my wounds, you cannot soothe

and in these dreams i wake
to heartbreak and mild mistakes
of looking into another's face
you cannot forgive the wrongs i make

but i forget yours
and push them away
if we were counting scores
your dust would be all i could taste

and in the end it's a sorry tale
of a lover's lost soul
and the brittle heart of males
a dog without it's bone,
an actor out alone
let the lonely spirit consume you whole.

you closed the door without even looking in
you were too scarred to even begin
and when i wait for you, you never come
because you're far too busy searching for the meaning of life's conundrums.

and you don't see what i am
but i see who you are
i've been traveling, from land to land
but even here at home, you couldn't get much farther

i'm pretending i don't care but trust me baby
you broke my heart in the matter of two weeks
i don't care if you regret it, love
i'm alone again, it seems

so build your house of wax and leaves
i'll be the sparrow hiding in your trees
remembering a simple kiss
ah, it don't mean ****.
it don't mean ****.

i got so attached so fast
looked back on the plane and saw our past
shoulda' known it was too good to last.

i needed a new muse
you needed someone to use
i wanted something brand new
you wanted something, but you never knew.

so i wont knock upon your door anymore
i wont stand at your steps, awaiting
because i don't know what i'm waiting for
just knew i was ready for creating.