I didn't even cry
all I felt was numb,
desperate to push it off my mind,
desperate to forget.

You.

Drowned in regret,
I tried to push it away,
all the things,
all the things,
I didn't do,
all the things I didn't say I tried to wash away in a bottle.

I can't pretend at all and I can't help but wonder even after all this time...

If you're still on my mind, am I still on yours?

Was I ever on your mind or was it an illusion I created, a bomb shelter, just a fantasy.

If there was something there could it be there still? I guess I'm just hoping there is a good reason I can't just close the door and walk away.

What more I can say? I was in love with you in every single way but too young,
too foolish,
too scared,
to open up my world to you.

Unable to feel truly anything for anyone except when I push myself in a trap,
Trying to think of anyone and anything else possible,
but my mind always wonders back to you.

I guess I'm still in love with you and there's nothing I can do.

The truth is you weren't even mine, I just fooled myself.

I was blind.

I guess I just need you back in my life.

But its too late now.

The bridge was ripped apart by a banshee in the night with no tears to cry.

I didn't even cry,
all I felt was numb,
drowned in regret,
I just need some closure...

And if you wanted to talk,
I'd be willing to try.

And start over new,
a new me,
a new you,
a new us?

I just hope you're doing okay and you're happy in love and in life in general. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'd understand if you hated me, I feel like you should hate me now.

..........a part of me will always love you <3 ............

I can still feel you,
how our bodies stuck together like glue
and the sun came up, but we hadn’t slept
we were laughing, looking so very unkempt.
We’d been lost in each other,
sparked a fire that neither of us could smother.
Our minds connected too,
reminiscing on all we had commonly gone through.
But it’s starting to feel like an illusion
your memories feeling more like an intrusion.
You were gone before I could blink,
now I’m asking the bartender for a strong drink.
A whirlwind romance?
No, that means you had to of given us a chance.
But that’s not possible because you left
taking my heart with, but I’m not calling it theft.
I gave it willingly, I’m not sure when
maybe when you fixed my hair with that old bobby pin,
or when I woke up next to you, and the sleep was still in your eyes,
possibly maybe when you held me through my cries.
At some point I tucked my heart away in your hand,
under the impression that staying was what you planned.
I can’t find it in myself to hate you, but I am nostalgic
because baby our love was magic.
Or maybe it’s because I can’t erase the feel of you,
and as I stare at a picture of us, I’m not even quite sure I want to.

There is something to be learnt from
the trees that let go
Of autumn leaves so silently: no grudges, no scorn
It is nature's way of telling
Parting is the price we all have to pay for love.

There is something to be learnt from
The leaves that hit the ground
After being held so high
It Is nature's way of telling us
It has never been about the fall
But how gracefully we do it

There is something to be learnt from
The empty sky at twilight
How it bleeds every time the sun leaves
Yet it tries to find solace in those thousand little suns
There is always something to be grateful about.

My sadness makes no sense,
Like what you said.
It's substandard
It's self-absorbed
It's not fine.

My cheerless comes from rejection
Rejection to accept me
To the world
From myself
I dread of rejection

My sadness secrete in my shadow
Behind my smile
Behind my laugh
Behind my happiness
This sadness is forbidden

My sadness comes from waves
i am drowning,
sinking,
but slowly dying
still smiling

This kind of sadness is verboten
So i covert
With my pen
And a paper
To write a poem

This sadness made a scar in my heart; a mark that will be remembered
And i'm sorry that this sadness hurt you, the way it hurt me.
Just like you, i hate this feeling overwhelming, and i'm sorry.

j.d.p

My tired eyes meet yours
Straining in the dim lighting
Sipping the drink you bought me
Through the thin straw
Sweetness tatooed on my lips
I gently lick it away

Your voice is brash
But mine is almost somber
I play the part well
Of the innocent rabbit
And you're the sly fox
Looking to devour me

Suddenly I'm in your den
Sitting on your mattress
Watching reruns we've both seen
You say loosen up
And touch my thigh
Sending pulses between my legs

Your tongue dives in my mouth
Exploring every crevice
Like a cartographer
You reach up my dress
Looking for the ocean
Your tongue tastes of sea salt

Your face between my thighs
Telling a story I've never heard
Your tongue is a paint brush
Skillfully scribbling caligraphy
I cry out in a foreign language
That feels so familiar

Every inch of my body
Quivers with joy
But there is no love here
And I wonder
If I'm really the innocent one
Or if I devour hearts as well