Biting my tongue was a problem for me as a child
Holding back the words
that I so desperately wanted to say
screaming on the inside
but politely whispering on the outside

As I grew into an awkward
fumbling
naive girl
I hated my passive lips
and ever silent throat

It was when I was confronted
only a timid lion cub thrown into a fight
that I grew my roar
and learned that my bite was worse
than my growl

Now ask me anything
tell me what you think
say what you really feel
and only expect the same in return
and don't be surprised by the poison that drips from my tongue

My saliva can infect wounds
and my teeth carry the venom of a thousand snakes
With lips so sweet
and smile so bright
It's camouflage for the beast hidden underneath

So keep running your mouth
let those slippery words flow through your mouth
but let me warn you


I don't need you
or your facade
A beast hides under these doe eyes
and it's more sinister
than the most poisonous snake

God
Dear God
Oh Lord
Heavenly Father
My Messiah
Lord in Heaven

I haven't felt


this

good

in
years

I'm a woman who just escaped the depths of a cave and felt sunlight on her skin.

I haven't felt like this about someone
since I was young
and believed that true love existed
and that once I met him I would know.
We would live in a castle in the sky
and hold hands
and laugh until our lungs caved in.
This mystery man of mine


But you

oh you

I can't help it
I've fallen for you
so deeply to the point where I don't recognize myself

This is the person I used to be
when I wasn't hardened by harsh words
and tainted smiles.

What did I do to meet you?

Which stars aligned to where I allowed to know you?

It was an accident
a simple click of a button
and a small interest

And yet
I feel so hopelessly dedicated to this relationship

God you

You

I just

I can't say it

But I will

I'm falling in love with you
But I can't help but want him
I'm human and I'm young
He looks at me and I feel at home
But I talk to you and I feel free

He hurt me more than I can say
I never cried over him
Not until I felt my heart for the first time
In I don't know how long

But you
I didn't realize it but you picked up my heart
And gave me the shattered pieces
And I pieced it slowly
You talked me through it
And you held my hands while I held my heart
And with you I can't stop smiling

But tonight
When I saw him
I wanted to kiss him
I wanted to hold him down
I wanted nothing more than for him to say
I love you

So what do I do?

This is your fault
You're the one saying all these things
Acting like it won't affect me
Treating me like I'm a stone wall
That I don't hear the words you say
Or read the words you type
It was bound to affect me
And turn my feelings for you

I'm becoming jealous
and irrational.
I become worried when I don't hear from you
I want you to say my name
Or think about me constantly
I want you to tell me all things you do
Or tell me something new
Babe
Sweetie
Gorgeous
Call me all of it
And don't stop

Why is it I like you so much?
                                                            Uhm... I don't know! I think I'm charming
I don't think so
                                                          Well I don't know! They are your feelings
Are they?
                                                         They aren't mine!
Well you gave them to me!

Poetry is about what is said
And what is implied

Implying is known for its subtle
Body gestures or vague sentences

Syntax and diction often control
The reader's persepctive

but
how can I control what other's think

Is it colorful word choice
Or WHAT WORDS STAND OUT

Am I accurate in assuming that
With a simple
pause

and repeat of word
I can cause someone to think otherwise?

Is it crazy that I control
the beat
in time
with a
meter

My dear I seem to have you under a spell
Can I tell you something

I'm not falling for you
I am in fact

Floating
Or for a better word

Afloat with you
Enjoying the water

And maybe
Someday
at some point
In some time

I will be ****** in
Drowned in your bliss
Penetrated by your words
Enraptured by your touch

Poetry is for mad people
With nothing better to do than to scrawl out their words with a pen nearby or a ***** keyboard that sounds more atrocious than the screaming of a fish

Poetry is the only way I can say my feelings
and if it's confusing

I'm sorry
I'm also confused

Maybe your love won't be drowning
and for once

It will feel like flying

I used to believe that my heart was guarded
But instead of being behind a lavish door
Hidden by a broken piece of wood
In a corner of a dark alley

But once I turned it over
My heart was not there
Instead it left it's pedestal
A note instead

Saying
Trying to find where I've gone
will serve you impossible.
For I will only live in you

And at that moment I realized
My heart was mine to give
So I'm sorry
But I've decided to keep it

This is my collection
The paintings stand for those who won
The statues are those who lost
My trophies are locked in cases
My medals are hung on the wall
Those rings aren't for touching
Those awards are supposed to be hung
Dust the floor
And wipe the ceiling
Don't forget to clean the glass
And please don't breathe on the ones with diamonds
Stop starring at that
Put that down
No you can't touch anything
What was that?
No go through that door
If you have any questions, please ask


Wait
One more thing
I forgot to tell you something important
Do you see that door?
The one with the locks and deadbolts
Never go inside
Don't let anyone else inside
In fact
Find a curtain
Let's cover that door
So no one will be tempted to enter


What was that?
The door is unlocked?
But who could have gotten in...
Well go in there!
Find out who it is


What did you say?
He has a key?
But
*how

I'll run away
And live in a fantasy
Where I sleep in the waves of the ocean
I'll rock myself to sleep and hold myself while I cry
I'll wipe my own tears away and tell myself it's okay
I don't need you to do it

In my fantasy
My hair will be dry from the salt
My face will be burnt and marked from the harsh sun
The sand will cake my feet
My skin will be cracked from the heat
And the sky will look at me and think
My what a beauty
I don't need you to tell me that I am

In this world
I am the queen of the wind and sand
I control the ocean and sun
I rule over the moon and stars
You have no power here

But yet here you are
Taking my hand and dragging me down a road I know so well
I'm telling you no
But for some reason
I'm not running away
But walking towards it
Nodding my head and smiling

You slow down for me to keep pace
You're holding open the door asking You ready?
No, I think, I'm not
You're not what I want, I think
My body is in the car
My heart is in the ocean
You're waiting, and you're staring
You call me beautiful as I stare at my paradise
My fantasy

I take a moment to enjoy it
I look at the others who took me away from it
Their skulls smile as if they know what's about to happen
I take a look at you and I can't do it
And I expect you, like the others, to start the car
But instead



You hand me the keys

He's different
No he's not
I'm special to him
No you aren't
He isn't damaged like the others
Yes he is
He thinks I'm beautiful
No he doesn't
He says I'm sweet
You aren't
He says my eyes are beautiful
He's lying
He says my hair is pretty
He's just joking
I like him
Why?
He listens to me
He just wants to see you naked
He just wants you to break again
Then he'll run like the others
You'll fall harder this time
Let me guard you, protect you
Just let me help you
Let me help you, and don't let anyone love you

You're gorgeous.
He's different
**No he's not

Shoulders back
Head up
Lips soft
Hair swaying
*******
Waist minimized
Hips squared
Nice ***
Legs long
Feet delicate


She walks with a purpose
with a grace
that leaves boys drooling at her feet

Her peers try to steal them away
she sneaks in though,
stealing all of their gazes.

She never settles,
she only takes the best
and never leaves any for the rest.

All it takes is a smile
and a giggle,
and they come running.

She's smart and funny,
poised and controlled,
loved and lusted for.

How I am envious of her,
she would make me the prize of my town,
but instead she makes me the ***** of the internet.

She has stolen men from their wives,
money from their wallets,
and robbed boys of their lives.

I think that this new one,
could be the one to take me away,
but she knows.

She knows that he is only a toy
and she the cat,
playing with him so carefully.

I will run away when he comes around,
and she will keep him at a safe distance
while I cry over my decisions.

I can't win
Because without her no man will want me,
But with her no man can have me.

It's funny how love is so complicated
Only because of how simple it is

Love complicates our situations
But because of this love, you're delighted to change

Things are exciting again

I can't sleep at night
I'm not in love
I swear
It's just flirting right?

It's just mindless questions


And cute texts

...

And pictures of hearts

*****

I pushed you away, because you were starting to love me
I heard it in your voice one night
When you called me gorgeous
and you said my name
Sarah
And it ran off your tongue like you were meant to say it
So I pushed you away
I ignored your messages
And I dismissed your IMs
But you kept at it
You kept calling me gorgeous
You kept saying my name
Just like that
And I hate you for loving me
But I can't stay away
So
STOP

Let's be friends
please?
I won't send you pictures
Or say your name
I'll play your games
and I'll talk to you
As long as you don't love me

I need you to message me
Just like he did
I need you to say my name
Just like he did

Even though you're better
and sweeter
and more thoughtful
and you remember what I say
and talk about what I like
and say Beyonce is you favorite

I don't want to love you
Please
I don't want to

One part sadness
Two parts mother
One part wisdom
Two parts experience
One part forgiveness
Two parts love

The recipe for the working woman.
The woman who gets kicked down,
but lives to stand up

A woman
who loves the battle
who laughs in the face failure
because she knows
that the only failure she could know
is the one brings on by herself

So she stands
and pulls those up around her,
and together,
we charge to the finish line,
just hoping
that the prize is worth it

The woman who keeps her head up;
she knows,
she knows what is waiting for her at the end.

That is why Diane fights.

Wipe off your make-up
Wash your hair
Scrub your skin
Take off your clothes
Shave your head
Remove your eyebrows
Cut your eyelashes
Pluck your fingernails
Shed your skin

And

stare

Stare into the mirror '
With your eyes wide open
And look


*Isn't it beautiful?

No it's fine.
I'll just grin and bear,
I'll act like everything is fine.
Why would i waste my time
telling you anyways?
Would you care?
Would anyone?

Stop creating leaders
Stop creating believers
Stop telling people who they should follow

Lead yourself
Believe in yourself
Follow yourself

I don't think you could handle me
I seriously don't think you could
You date shy girls

Girls that write poetry about vases filled with flowers
Or write stories about misunderstood teenagers
Trying to make it through the day

Girls that listen to music about depression
Or about their feelings
That drown them in their own sadness

Girls that can't imagine the idea of getting a job
Because they have too much to handle
So instead they do drugs to hide the pain

I'm not saying it's a bad thing
I'm trying to tell you
I'm not that girl

I'm the girl that will drive you crazy
I can give you a ******* that can make you come in 2 minutes
I can make your fantasies come true

I can make you feel like you're drowning
I can make you feel like the world is ending
I can make you feel like there's no more hope

I can ruin you
I can help you
But you don't want me

I'm too much
And that's okay
Because I will find someone who can handle me

But I refuse to fall for someone like you again
Because you're the type of person that can't handle me
The type I fall for

So I'm sorry
I have to find someone else
It's better for you anyways

I wonder if clouds know they're beautiful
When they sit and watch from the the sky

I wonder if they know how dangerous and threatening they are
When thunder cries out

I wonder if they know how they turn colors
When the sun hits them just right

I walk to work wondering if they know

I wish I could live up there with them
I could be puffy and white

And no one would say anything
Because that's how clouds are

I wish I could reflect the sun
But only be full of rain

If I was full of rain
I wouldn't be full of emotion

Clouds don't become angry
Or sad

Clouds don't fall in love
And realize their love wasn't real

I wonder if clouds know how truly breath-taking they are

If I could stay and lay on the grass all day
And watch them

I would

I've driven through clouds once
It was like a dream

I pulled over and felt the fleeting puffs wisp by
I felt the rain wet my skin

I felt the cold penetrate my clothes
I felt the wind tangle my hair

And most of all
I felt the thrill of being in the clouds

I wonder if they thought of me as beautiful
As much as I saw them that way

Love is complicated, but it doesn't resonate between two people
It burns more brightly, when you’re dancing in between the fires of the sun
It’s fervent when you’re watching the stars collapse on each other
It’s all encompassing when the black hole ***** you in
The space around us licks our arms and legs as we dance with one another
When I lean in for a kiss, I can feel the cosmos reaching out to me
I can feel the constellations change when we embrace
And when you touch me, it’s as if the nebulae rebirth themselves
Comets only come once in a while
And it seems you’re riding the radiant tail of Halley’s

I called you and said
"Mom my chest hurts I can't walk, I can barely breathe."
I had never known so much pain
You didn't sound scared or worried
You simply asked questions
I responded as best as I could
You were silent and then told me to grab the antacids
You told me that you would call once you got to work
I waited for you to call, even though I felt better
You called back and I listened to your voice as the antacids melted my pain

Your voice always soothes me
Even when you are mad or screaming

Whenever I'm in pain
Whether it be a broken arm or heart
A dull ache in my back or head
The simplest touch makes me feel better

Even when you annoy me
And I just want to yell at you and say "Shut up."
You still make me feel better when you call me a good daughter

You gossip too much
And you talk too much trash
You overreact
You overprotect
You over do it
But you're my mom
And no matter what happens I know you will be there
Just one phone call and you'll pick up expecting the worst
But will be relieved by what I have to say
You won't be mad
You will just say "It will be okay"

Thank you

Shut up Meg

It has been so long
Too long
It's only been 2 months
But that time has caused me to be
Oh so lonely

And I've only known you for 4 days
And in that time
You have filled the hole that he left

I don't know
How tall you are
How old you are
What the color of your eyes are
What the color of your hair is
If you're right or left handed
If you're going to school

All I do know
Is that you made me laugh as soon as you spoke
That you wanted to know my name as soon as I spoke
Is that you want to know me better
That you would choose Beyonce over Taylor Swift any day

I don't want you
Believe me, I don't love you
But you have filled a hole
With the pings and beeps
With the skype telephone calls
With your jokes
With your laugh

You have filled a hole

I just want to know you better now

I hate it
When people say Brienne is beautiful
The point of Brienne is that she isn't beautiful

Brienne is a warrior
A woman who doesn't know love
A woman who loves though

Brienne is loyal
A woman who stays true to the end
A woman with endless honor

Brienne is strong
A woman who won't break
A woman who will stand tall

Brienne is ugly
A woman who doesn't need her looks to get what she needs
A woman who doesn't use what's between her legs to get what she wants

Brienne is badass
A woman who gives no *****

Would you rather be with someone who loved you
Or someone you loved.

You wrote a song for me
Well not for me
But it might as well be
It's my song
It's been my song for years
Ever since it came on the radio
I owned it
My father would look at me when it came on and smile
"It's like he wrote it for you"

This song makes me
Cry
Smile
Laugh

It means everything to me

Some girls keep their virginity
I keep this song
Until I meet the man of my dreams
I won't share this song

Thank you Jason

God
Why you?
Why does it have to be
The boy who doesn't know
The boy who can't figure it out
The boy who can't seem to realize

But the thing is
You do know
You have to know
It's our whole relationship
We can't be friends
We could never be friends
There's too much unspoken

Maybe I'm crazy
But I just know
There's something

A fantasy
Is what you are
A made up existence in my early sub-conscious
Sometimes you're blonde
Other times
Hair the color of midnight
But most of the time
My fantasies end by one of us
Leaving the other
What does that say about me?

"What happened" and "When did you decide"
The honest truth is that
I knew from the beginning

I knew from the start
That it would end with my foot in the door
I knew from the start
That it was all wrong and I wanted more

What I wanted was to be with a man for the rest of my life
I wanted him to love me
Like
How
I
Loved

Because I love with everything I have
I love in the ways I scream
In the ways I cheer
In the ways I dream
In the ways I smile while I cry

And so the only reason why it ended
Is because you proved me right
When all I wanted was for you to prove me wrong

And so when you say
"We never had a chance"
You are so wrong

Because I gave so many chances
A year to be exact
And now you have left me sitting here
reminding myself that

**I
Knew
All
Along