Do you feel me in the wind?
Because I feel you.

I want to feel your arms around me again
The heat of your skin against mine
The way I can feel your heartbeat in your chest

I wish you would see me when the sunlight plays with the colors of  daisies
Can I at least pretend you do?

I want your lips gently pressed on mine
I want to hear your laugh again
I want to breathe in your heavenly smell and forever get lost it
I want to see the way your eyes light up with fire when you look at me

But I can't

Because you're gone

Do you feel me in the wind?
Because I feel you.

I burned all of it.
Your letters.
Your words.
Your songs.
Your pleas.
Did you know you were my energy too?
You weren't the only only in need.
I wanted you here
I spoke your name in the darkest nights,
Wished for you at my weakest
But all I saw was a blank sheet of rain
It all falls down to me again.
Maybe that's why I'm watching the fiery red glow.
Maybe I'm glad some of the memories are gone.

Why do you have such a high expectation?
Is this what you want me to become,
will this make you content,
do you know by asking this I will start to go numb,
that even so I will do this with no argument?

False hope.*

Sometimes you need it. Just to feed off of it for the future.

You stand in a group of
"friends"
Flaunting your features in
a minidress and and sparkling water
in your hand
People talk amongst us -
Near you, around me.
They seem to talk of you -
and only you, not me
Dont mind at all actually
You dont get it.
Protuding at sharp angles,
you're all bones.
Like a corpse stuck in
midstride - you have no
Swag
Legs thinned to paper.
Rib case sketched by the stretch
of your baby blue dress.
You flirt, dance, smirk
at everything that breathes
Sadly, no ones entranced.
Think all should be jealous -
even the homozygous.
Your ego bigger than
Nicki Minaj's **** -
it spans for miles


We talk, enjoy the night
until we hear something
Ugly
"only 115? That's all?
Lose a little more... Quit eating"
They leave, you weep
everyone stares
Afterall, youve just lost
your throne and jewels.
Too diluted with your thoughts,
you would lock yourself in the
bathroom stall
wishing for your fairy godmother
You run outside - tripping,
nearly falling, leaving a glass slipper
Behing
No one seems to care.
I glance at the two at my sides,
lucky to have such friends
Silent understanding passes between
Us
We make outside ~ findin
you cryin like the worlds endin
Holding up your shoe, we walk over
put my hand on your shoulder
Like a rail, hard and thin it is.
"Im sorry", you blurt.

"Dont be.. We'll buy you your own pizza."

I'm still here for you honey just not in that way ~ I can't mean that much to someones eyes. Love & friendship is two different things ~ The distance is well enough for both. The pain and suffering ~ you thought you were the only one. At my weakest I found four hands to help me ~ sadly, you weren't one. Been fightin decades ~ less than you, taking down armies. Gladly I’ll extend my hand ~ you’re my friend. Taught me a lot ~ been jumping off cliffs to hopefully see you again. Time is on our side ~ be a shame to waste it on others. By impulse & instinct of being free ~ I thank you.