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Aug 2016 · 600
No Longer
Ari Aug 2016
I glanced at you both,
and no longer felt the jealousy
that would linger
and peel at my insides

You never did treat me right
It was your loss to lose such
an amazing prize
You will always be looking for a piece in me
in every person you're with
Oct 2015 · 321
New Somebody
Ari Oct 2015
When you've forgiven
But haven't forgotten
Jul 2015 · 552
N A T U R A L beauty
Ari Jul 2015
you speak of
natural internal beauty
when you can barely keep away
from the botox and implants that
don't cease to influence you
Apr 2015 · 287
9 Words
Ari Apr 2015
I stand
Above you
With superior strength
and direction
Feb 2015 · 1.0k
Music In The Air
Ari Feb 2015
The best music comes from the soul. It isn't the trending song. The one most sung, the one played most at a party. The best, come to whisper at you in complete darkness. It is a tune of a Hispanic woman, broken & unimaginable & captiviating. The songs of my grandmother, powerful & breathtaking & perfect. The humming from my grandpa, my mentor and joker. My sisters' constant commotion, the annoyance & welcoming sense of home. My best friends knowledge, understanding & sarcastic & amazing. My aunts, their horrible humor and teenage behaviour. . .

All mixed together
Ari Feb 2015
Dont expect me to decide
between Blood
Choosing a side to make the path easier
Is a horrible weakness
Jan 2015 · 242
12 W O R D S
Ari Jan 2015
Truly,
Theres no need for sympathy
You just simply will
*never understand
You can't cry at every little sad moment in your life. So don't cry at mine...
Jan 2015 · 277
shimmer in my eye
Ari Jan 2015
Listen to love songs with a new passion
No more longing for the past
Here,
Right now,
Looking forward to tommorow
Jan 2015 · 536
i step back & glance
Ari Jan 2015
The scene replays slowly
Second by second,
I can imagine your struggle
Confusion, anger, hurt

Why me? Why now?
You wonder of your worthlessness
Why every single person
leaves

You never understood your
importance
Never taking love
With an open hand

The burden always lay
In my mind
Call me an idiot, over caring human
I still wanted to be there for you

•••

I know someone's given you
The support, the love you've always needed
That was the final key to my puzzle,
Why I could never get over the fact that
I could never again be your *someone
Jan 2015 · 232
93,000,000 MILES AWAY
Ari Jan 2015
Been feeling lucky the suns approaching each morning
F I N A L L Y. . .
LETTME touch you Sun!
Making my day brighter
with all the pretty colors
Thank you,
I would send you a letter
But...
You're really, really, really
far away
I would send you a letter....
Jan 2015 · 349
i truly love you
Ari Jan 2015
I find myself staring at the beauty
The complete innocence before me
The slightest move, rippling effects

Its grace neverending
Its loyalty everlasting
Its love forevermore
LOVE LOVE the outdoors
Dec 2014 · 315
confusion
Ari Dec 2014
You make me feel so happy,
Then so sad

A failure,
Then a success

Mistake,
Then perfection

The fresh rain,
A downpour of hail

Everything clear,
Made hazy again...
Family is here for me. Not sure if one of my parents are....
Ari Dec 2014
Don't talk to an idiot who won't be willing to listen

2. Let things go, don't take it personally

3. Don't ask for forgiveness when there is none to be forgiven for

4. Letting another person down isn't worse then letting myself down

5. Stop taking it to heart

6. Silence is all that is needed

7. Desperation is yelling
The key points in my mind *elimination of negative influence*
Dec 2014 · 424
I'm tellin you, straight up
Ari Dec 2014
Don't go vying for his attention.
If you aren't enough,
he isn't worth the distraction.
Dec 2014 · 251
. . . *thought*
Ari Dec 2014
"If theres something left . . . I'll fight for it", he said faintly.

I didn't need an "if"
I had wanted a "because"
Dec 2014 · 1.7k
She's as bright as the Sun
Ari Dec 2014
She laughs, as bright as day
She mourns with the passion of ocean waves

She giggles, with the pitches of a child
To be returned with glances and mild laughter

She takes each hand,
Gently squeezing in return

She understands and accepts
All that happened and will happen

Only hoping that someone will notice
. . .
Dec 2014 · 659
DRY TEARDROPS
Ari Dec 2014
I cry
Not for me, not for you
Not in sympathy nor in pity

I cry
At how easily I can put up a blank face
And not hide behind that fake smile

I cry
Because of the repetition and
every thing I N B E T W E E N

I cry
The mental and physical, tearing me little by little
Each time, only to be scarred

I cry
Because this is making me stronger,
But still hurting, for each new second
Nov 2014 · 329
At Last
Ari Nov 2014
Enjoying the small caresses, kisses, hugs. Your presence, your scent, your final note of goodbye. All the memories aching, wanting to swim away.

But now

Enjoying the wind, the air, the woods. Hearing my breath with each exhale & inhale. Feeling at peace within myself & gracefully taking each day with excitement, eagerness, curiosity & boldness.
Nov 2014 · 199
everything in between
Ari Nov 2014
All hurt was enough, to have me detracted, to not want you.
Nov 2014 · 344
Back Not Front
Ari Nov 2014
when you
Leave
my ******* is raised,
an image imprinted on
your **backs
Nov 2014 · 378
HATE VS LOVE
Ari Nov 2014
Wanting to hate you
I did... Yes I did
Anger and hurt like
moths swarming  my face

•••

Vulnerable, indecisive
I didn't know how to
Continue this

But...

Lost & Found
Yet again, I found myself
Anger doing nothing but
Only in bringing it to others

•••

Looking at you in admiration,
Love
Does all the difference
For my Eyes Mind & Soul
Sep 2014 · 222
"U S"
Ari Sep 2014
I keep hoping there will be second "us" ~ As you said, " things never ran smoothly but we always found a way."
Both of us running on old memories ~
Tryin to start over, to not care as much.

Sad part is,
If I saw you with someone else
I'd completely crumble to
pieces
Sep 2014 · 377
S H A D Y, T R A G I C
Ari Sep 2014
"I can't wait to count those rings.
I got my chainsaw, boy
You know its gotta go
And I aint gonna be happy until those names fall.
And I'm sittin on a stump

Love is shady
Love is tragic
Its hard to bury the hatchet"
The band Perry - chainsaw
Sep 2014 · 295
Untitled
Ari Sep 2014
Ive grown so much stronger though... I can feel the strength appear, my confidence in a complete crowd. I aim to feel different, hopeful. I breathe in, I breathe out. I can feel the change... And ****.

*it feels good
Sep 2014 · 388
it feels good
Ari Sep 2014
Sometimes I wonder if I should have fought harder. To talk to you, to get to you. Then I think of myself, how I needed someone. It turns to selfishness. I have love, I never ever will stop wondering how much I can give. I gave it away, not to empty hands but to you. I get angry at myself. How I shouldve helped , what I couldve done. I would cry, your name through the hard nights. I did need you, i just wished you could have come to me. I notice its getting easier, I wonder what you're doing, how you are. I can't play the blame game anymore. I will always love you. I can't help it, I know and hope you'll grow a way from me within time. Its not love in the same way, physical stills there. Ive grown so much stronger though... I can feel the strength appear, my confidence in a complete crowd. I aim to feel different, hopeful. I breathe in, I breathe out. I can feel the change... And ****.

*it feels good
Sep 2014 · 645
I Laugh And Walk Away
Ari Sep 2014
I walked to you,
hoping I would have a chance.
I limped back every
single time
*defeated
cutting people off doesnt have limits. family can get cut off too if theyre causing you stress. eliminate any negativity from your circle.
Sep 2014 · 248
Repeat Yourself
Ari Sep 2014
Someone once told me to
never trust a person when
they're forcing things onto you.

My beliefs are what make me religious, whether
they agree with yours or not.

My opinions are not built from yours.

My thoughts are not all about boys, ***, and money.

My hurt is my own. Don't dare to act like you care.

My life is my own... You can not choose what I
do in the future....

Please don't tell me to trust you
because **I don't
Sep 2014 · 226
Little too late
Ari Sep 2014
I stopped trying. Yes.... I did.
I didn't say hello. I didn't try to contact you,
wishing it was you instead

I didn't expect you to make me
Your everything, to merely focus on me
I get everyone has their own crap going on

Guess where I lay...
Drenched in sweat
In my bed, crying and shaking through those nights

Gosh it hurt so much.
But I needed to learn where you stood.
You stood so much farther than I thought...
Being alone, I needed someone. I found four hands, none of them yours.
Sep 2014 · 496
Raging
Ari Sep 2014
I burned all of it.
Your letters.
Your words.
Your songs.
Your pleas.
Did you know you were my energy too?
You weren't the only only in need.
I wanted you here
I spoke your name in the darkest nights,
Wished for you at my weakest
But all I saw was a blank sheet of rain
It all falls down to me again.
Maybe that's why I'm watching the fiery red glow.
Maybe I'm glad some of the memories are gone.
Sep 2014 · 601
Thats all You can Do
Ari Sep 2014
False hope.*

Sometimes you need it. Just to feed off of it for the future.
Sep 2014 · 649
Don't Be
Ari Sep 2014
You stand in a group of
"friends"
Flaunting your features in
a minidress and and sparkling water
in your hand
People talk amongst us -
Near you, around me.
They seem to talk of you -
and only you, not me
Dont mind at all actually
You dont get it.
Protuding at sharp angles,
you're all bones.
Like a corpse stuck in
midstride - you have no
Swag
Legs thinned to paper.
Rib case sketched by the stretch
of your baby blue dress.
You flirt, dance, smirk
at everything that breathes
Sadly, no ones entranced.
Think all should be jealous -
even the homozygous.
Your ego bigger than
Nicki Minaj's **** -
it spans for miles


We talk, enjoy the night
until we hear something
Ugly
"only 115? That's all?
Lose a little more... Quit eating"
They leave, you weep
everyone stares
Afterall, youve just lost
your throne and jewels.
Too diluted with your thoughts,
you would lock yourself in the
bathroom stall
wishing for your fairy godmother
You run outside - tripping,
nearly falling, leaving a glass slipper
Behing
No one seems to care.
I glance at the two at my sides,
lucky to have such friends
Silent understanding passes between
Us
We make outside ~ findin
you cryin like the worlds endin
Holding up your shoe, we walk over
put my hand on your shoulder
Like a rail, hard and thin it is.
"Im sorry", you blurt.

"Dont be.. We'll buy you your own pizza."
Sep 2014 · 233
For you
Ari Sep 2014
I'm still here for you honey just not in that way ~ I can't mean that much to someones eyes. Love & friendship is two different things ~ The distance is well enough for both. The pain and suffering ~ you thought you were the only one. At my weakest I found four hands to help me ~ sadly, you weren't one. Been fightin decades ~ less than you, taking down armies. Gladly I’ll extend my hand ~ you’re my friend. Taught me a lot ~ been jumping off cliffs to hopefully see you again. Time is on our side ~ be a shame to waste it on others. By impulse & instinct of being free ~ I thank you.
Aug 2014 · 412
Oh
Ari Aug 2014
Oh
I can't stop. My lips are forming gentle lines of that lovely smile when i think of you. It starts with slight crinkles at the center, muscles moving upward, almost helplessly.
I love you
Aug 2014 · 347
im sorry
Ari Aug 2014
Sitting alone together underneath this bridge. Water sweeps and hits our faces, its so calm here with you. My arms around you, fierce and loving. I love you with everything I have... But I know it wont last. Im sorry for the pain it caused you. Im sorry for deserting you like I did. Its my fault. even if I knew you were first, it would always seem you were put second. you were always on mind, you still are. As gracefully as I can, im trying to let you go.
I still love you, my forever and always. I miss you. Your hugs your touch your kisses your smell. Everything. Please forgive me within time.
Aug 2014 · 1.4k
Maybe if id been quicker
Ari Aug 2014
There. Hes right there, on the floor. Rushing through the white front door, I stop and crouch down to the floor. Check his pulse, screaming, crying, in tears. Setting off an alarm within my overprotective barriers. Maybe... If maybe, I had been there quicker.
Aug 2014 · 942
Silent fistfight
Ari Aug 2014
She had two clenched fists, one around her heart and the other on her mind.
Fighting my own battles, invincible but clearly there.
Jul 2014 · 190
Untitled
Ari Jul 2014
"You deserve someone who'll wipe away all your tears and tell you it'll all be ok."

                                                           ­                          *Well ****
Jul 2014 · 322
Help Wanted
Ari Jul 2014
Why do you just stand there and listen?

DOG

Please just go away

ANIMAL

Be strong.. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

STUPID

Stop. It's like this everyday.

*****

You wonder why I cry myself to sleep. Why my pillow has become my best friend.

*******

I thought you were my daddy. To help protect me. I have to help protect myself now.
Sometimes you feel completely hopeless. like nothing is close or even near to straightening themselves out. Have a small belief in things happenings due to randomness and accepting it full on. Be strong, not ******. Try not to hold things against people for the sake of your sanity and peace of mind. I love you but the things you say are... painful
Jun 2014 · 3.4k
The reason I hike
Ari Jun 2014
The forest and I was all there was.
In the deep still silence I could feel the Earth's beating heart.
- author unknown
Jun 2014 · 351
you & me
Ari Jun 2014
The tremors
My moans,
The feel of your fingers
Skin on skin

Mapping of your body,
The crevasses, ridges
My hands,
Roaming

gentle
rough
playful
Forever, I want you

I want you
Just as you want me
Except I keep to myself of the
pleasures you give
May 2014 · 468
You'd never know
Ari May 2014
You always seem to want more.
More...
Richer is much better. The life we live is saddening. Drowning in your own pitiful puddle. Never enjoying and taking things for granted. Waiting.. in hopes that something greater will fly in unexpectedly.
More...
You aren't good enough. Become a better person, everyone can change.
What if this is the real me? You simply can't except that...
More...
If only you were a boy our lives would be easier. You are worthless, an animal, a *******. If only you weren't here.
More...
Its all an act. Outside, you're a great person. Inside, you're one of the most cruel and ignorant people. I don't hate you but you simply don't see the way its hurting.

*I don't believe you ever will
if only...
May 2014 · 537
Here
Ari May 2014
I wish you were right here with me. Same bed, same room Not for ***. Not for making out. Just... Here laying next to me in your arms... It's the safest place to be. Scaring away my fears, dispersing my thoughts. You're one of a kind. I'm truly grateful for you & just... *everything
May 2014 · 1.3k
Pluviophile
Ari May 2014
A lover of rain
Escalating showers,
Strike of anger lights the sky
Sprinkle of rain drops along my forehead
... Dewdrops . .
                         .
                        .
                         .
pitter   patter   pitter   patter

Uncontrollable
Beautiful
Lovely
I love the rain
May 2014 · 250
Untitled
Ari May 2014
Just leave.
Leave...
You've given me it all
Our happiness, our laughter
But your lies?
I don't know who to believe
Who to side with
May 2014 · 478
Nightmares
Ari May 2014
Tossing. Turning...
Wishing there'd be a way to quit
This endless fighting
Quit this useless struggle
No one but myself to help.

— The End —