anxiety feels like you're on top of a roller coaster but it's stuck and you're scared of heights and you just want to die the fear is thick and the air feels weird and you just want to quit but you're up so so so high  the feeling in your stomach makes you want to ***** but you cant get off and you curse and you cry

all you want to do is die

that's what anxiety feels like.

I've been sleeping all day
and all night lately.
dreaming of fire escapes,
to save myself
from a burning reality.
my waking consciousness
is a box on your doorstep
marked
"fragile"
but clearly the label
has been overlooked,
the box under-appreciated.
damaged and dilapidated,
I am reminded of something
my mother used to say.
"what doesn't **** you
makes you stronger"
but in these
painful
waking
hours
what doesn't **** me,
simply makes me wish
it had.

letting go of you
would be like
confining myself
to a boat
in order to taste
the freedom
of the ocean.

and every day I'm
without you
would feel like swimming
to the surface
in a panic,
gasping for air
as your name
fills my lung
and drowns me.