Light travels at
Three hundred million meters per second.
If I turned into a photon tonight
And flew away for nine or ten years,
I might escape the memories of you.

to feel everything so raw and intense
is both a blessing
and a curse

I'm tired of forcing you out of my every thought.
Convincing myself I don't want you isn't working and I'm sure it hasn't worked for anyone.
You can't just flip a switch and forget about someone.
What if this person was exciting?
Made you feel desired?
Made you want to get up in the morning?
Why would you want to give that up?
--
The truth is, the possibility of us is all that it's ever going to be.
A possibility
A what if.
A maybe.

And even though it hurts, I don't want to fight my thoughts anymore.
I'll think of you until I'm ready to let the idea of you go.
That's all you are anyway.
A stupid idea.

I NEED YOU. HAVE I NOT MADE THAT CLEAR? I WANT TO HEAR SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS WHISPERED IN MY EAR. I WISH I WASN'T WRITHING FOR A DRINK OR A DRUG TO CLEAR MY MIND OF ALL THE ***** THOUGHTS YOU LEFT BEHIND. TOO MUCH TO HANDLE? UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY!!! I NEED YOU, BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO NEED ME.*

*please

there are pocket s
of time  we use
to crawl inside one another, sleep like we would
have never known the difference, before       /after

& our excuse is
the skin of our hands meeting that of our thighs and
we are all at once a giant        sigh, together

we come, beautiful,
in the moment s like this,

we shift,

like this
like this