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I miss him
It's the new school year, it all reminds me of him.
How we used to stay up all night depriving each other of sleep because we didn't want the conversation to end, how we planned the next year to go, how we said we could work as long as we had confirmation class.
How he said I was all he needed, how he said he could see us with the same ring on our finger, as we ate cereal and had a child or two running around.
It's silly to think of it all now because we were so young and our love was naïve and how he now says our relationship was a sham
But sometimes I think about all we said to each other
And I miss him
Ever been so tired that you just don't want to breath?
Ever been so lonely that you want to scream?
Ever been so frustrated that you just don't want to eat?
Ever been so miserable that you make yourself bleed?
Copyright 2015 - Crystal J. Wright
If
if i could think about you without it leaving me all choked up,
i would think about the promises you made to me,
the ideas you planted,
the smile you smiled at me,
and the way you laughed; so light hearted.

if i could talk to you and tell you all i think about,
i would tell you about how you're always on my mind,
every freaking day like 24/7,
the way you look at me when you talk,
your gaze is mesmerizing.

if i could just see you one more time
i would ask you to hug me the way
you used to before we messed up,
and i would close my eyes and wish for you
all the happiness in this world.

Because, although i don't love you anymore,
i still care about you.
And no matter what I do,
or how hard I try,
I could never stop caring.
One day, you'll understand.



I hope.
 Aug 2015 Angelica C
Mable Erina
You should know I miss you.
Not all the time, but most.
Like a child who misses her mother.
But doesn't want to get to close.
I'm often inches away from a message.
I don't, more often then I do.
So, why am I confessing this to you?

There is a few occasions where I sit,
Wondering about passed things.
I watch the trees blow in the wind,
As the green rolls of waves in spring.  
Reminds me of those days by the lake.
The days we loved to simply escape.
So, why did it slowly stop, us, loving them?

I caught you're eyes wandering.
They weren't looking at mine.
But at the round shape in front of you. However, to me it's behind.
What's funny to me Is how you don't look away.
How you aren't trying to make it an accident or a mistake.
So, why don't you just say something, about how it looks?

Why don't you just tell me how much you want to be inside?
Whisper how much you desire my skin.
Tantalize me with the thoughts that your mind has created.
Fill me in on your plans for me.
So, why don't you just say 'hey', or talk to me?

It's all because of her, since you're preoccupied.
You have love to uphold, other feelings to hide.
You were never okay with lying, but you did it with ease.
But if I'm being honest, I'm not sure you ever lied to me.
So, why just lie, why not tell the truth?

At least that's what I'd like to think.
You still have her, and that's plenty for me.
So I'll just go home, and keep trying to be 'me.'
One girl is more than enough to watch from here.
I can't imagine two birds trying to fit in one stoop.
Plus I won't be a third, no not again.
So, why not just tell me "We are no longer friends."?
 Aug 2015 Angelica C
Bobby Blues
So when you loose your second closest,
and that state goes briefly unnoticed:

Then why oh why?!

Is your name again spoken,
and yet again I become broken.
 Aug 2015 Angelica C
GaryFairy
If you were broken, and i had the parts to fix you
i would work on you both night and day
but, i'm afraid the parts that i use would mix you
and take the best parts of you away
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping—rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
        Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
        Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
    This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping—tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door:—
      Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering,
  fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore!”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”
      Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon I heard again a tapping, somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore;—
    ’Tis the wind and nothing more.”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he: not an instant stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
    Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no
  craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
      Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
      With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered, “Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”
      Then the bird said, “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope the melancholy burden bore
    Of ‘Never—nevermore.’”

But the Raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and
  door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
    Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my *****’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
      She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath
  sent thee
Respite—respite aad nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!”
      Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
    Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
      Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked,
  upstarting—
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
    Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
    Shall be lifted—nevermore!
 Oct 2014 Angelica C
Satsuki
Melt
 Oct 2014 Angelica C
Satsuki
Your kindness befuddled me.
My coldness melted by your warmth.
You barely know me.
Yet you seem to care.
To be what they want
Is to win a battle
To be who you are
Is to win a war
 Sep 2014 Angelica C
blythe
Learn
 Sep 2014 Angelica C
blythe
In life,
It is essential
That you learn
How to be strong enough
To let go;
And wise enough
To wait
For what you deserve.
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