it's starting to feel hot again
the sticky summer sun and the
cicadas calling into the night like lost children
the cool water, the stinging scent of chlorine
and fireflies like faraway shooting stars
i feel something i don't quite know what to call yet
i feel like the sound of your voice
cool as the breeze under the shade
and i want to pitch a hammock there.
or the color of your eyes in the
mysterious beauty of the dark side of the moon.
for now maybe i'll just call it
air conditioning

i tried to sleep.
i gripped those dreams that keep
slipping through my trembling fingers
and wondered if i should ever
hold them tenderly and securely
with tumultuous oceans brewing in my eyes
i again begged them,
stay a little longer please
and if not then allow me to
cleave my fingers from my hands so
i don't have to worry about holding anything anymore
i really tried to sleep
but i don't know how to anymore

its times like these i get
so sentimental that i regress a bit
to days that i seriously wished
i was dead.
though, more than anything,
i want to just wish for you.
i went to your instagram
and i saw some of your prom photos.
you are so beautiful.
i wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.
i want to tell you about
my fear of staying in one place and
my fear of moving away,
how i still love the same person i told you about,
the voice in my head telling me i should quit my passions,
and about how
in times like these i grip onto the syllables of your name
and pray that everything will be okay.

i miss you a lot.

hello! it's been so long
it's been so long since you
talked to me like this
like this we were whispering
in each other's ears like
not even the august leaves
could have part in our affair
not even the august leaves
could know what we were
it's such a shame isn't it?
isn't it? that those leaves,
drifting down so sadly,
became september leaves
september leaves that knew
only the tears that we shed
the tears that we shed
and now the april leaves will
never know who we were
never know who you were
never know who i was
just who you and i are now
it's been so long since you
talked to me like this i almost
remembered how much i missed you

a single note slips out of the chord
as the others cling to safe harmony
she turns the soundwaves to crackling lightning
she becomes the tension of a catastrophic earthquake
she pushes the limits of the dam and threatens to flood
she is dissonance
and she will hold out before her resolution

i want to say in simple terms
the full extent of my love for you--
the sun could not compete in its burn,
the bird's morning song could not be more true;
the cicada's crow falls short in fervor
and the moon's light cannot be as gentle.
this heart remains stubborn and will not waver
for of you it has its complete fill.
though, perhaps, the sun's light shines more close
and the bird's free flight is nearer
than i, who hovers like a ghost;
how silly it is that i consider you dearest...
in simple terms, i love you honest,
though all i can do is pine and write sonnets.

enough! i said.
the tiger roared in its dull silver jail.
i lifted my bitten fingers to the padlock
and enclosed it in, finally.
you, i hissed,
you mustn't follow me anymore;
i am breaking away from all that you are.
your striking orange fur doesn't tempt me,
nor do your growling words phase me.
i am leaving you here,
so begone.
but alas, where can it go but around its cage?
soon enough i heard it call a name i know well,
the jail crumbled away,
and i found myself within its jaws again.