i hear
chewing, chewing, chewing
i think it's my
lingering negativity
feasting on leftover feelings.
chewing, chewing, chewing
feast, i say.
eat till you're filled,
then eat me entirely too.
chewing, chewing, chewing
don't
leave
a
single
crumb
of
memory.

when i walk through the hallways
making sure to avoid stranger's faces
when i drive from home to work anywhere
and i sing to no one but a recording
when i open twitter on my phone to see
everyone's chatting in a thread but me
when i scroll rapidly through texts discord messenger
reading old messages for any leftover emotions to feel
when i throw my phone across the room
so i don't have to worry about anyone
when i look at it from afar
in case anyone wanted to ask are you okay? are you there? are you tired? do you want something? do you want someone? do you like your life? why do you laugh so much if half the time you laugh at your own jokes?

i let my eyelids flutter shut
smiled coyly
held their face in my hands gingerly
stood on my tip toes and
some lips met somewhere
i can't say for sure
when i shut my eyes
i was a sea in their arms
completely enamoured
and i wanted a little bit more
just a glimpse of those eyes
looking at me
but when i looked back
i
i couldn't recognize those arms
those eyes those lips
then for whom was i smiling?

i saw someone
kissing your eyelids as you fell asleep
wrapping their arms gently around you
and pulling you ever closer
i heard their
soft breath tickle your neck
all the way from here
and no i can't really hear that far
but also i can, you know?
i'm watching them
unravel the impossible enigma that is you
with effortless swagger and irresistability
while you gaze into their eyes
and i
saw

i made you
a sandwich; it's
in the icebox.

i was worried
you'd get hungry.

i remembered
to put your
favorite
things in it,
so please
eat it.

a song
i write it, weaving my heart's musings into it,
open my window,
and sing

and sing
i imagine my voice catching to the wind,
taking flight as a bird flutters to find a home,
on its way
to you

to you
the wind slows and the winter air
grasps the song i sing
it is torn from the sky and
my throat burns with negativeemotions
the choir of birds do not  mind
they carry their song onwards
but mine
mine
m ine
    mine,

the night unfolds elegantly
i wedge myself again in between
its elegance and my weary thoughts
i imagine wishing for silly things
on the passing shooting stars
but if i snap back to reality
i remember that one wish i keep on wishing
and i look out my window
waiting for a star to come by and hear me
the night is too elegant
for such a wish,
such thoughts,
as mine