So this is a poem for all the people out there.
The people who used to live like they didn't care.
The ones scared to speak up.
The ones who always felt like they messed up.
To all of you who have a history.
It's that story.
The one that makes up you.
Yeah there are very few.
Few similar.
Many who have walked down the road you went down.
The road you ran to when you felt like nobody else was around.
There was always someone who saw your pain when you cried.
Someone who would have stayed up countless nights.
Someone who let go of themselves to make sure your alright.
So this poem is for all the recovering people.
The ones who feel like they were lost.
Hopeless even.
Relying on drugs, achohol, ***, and other outlets.
Personal my Ive found that you can't always have those to rely on.
Eventually they are gonna be the reason you refuse to carry on.
You are all so important.
You are all so different.
However you wound up where you are today,
Know there is important in your history.
Everything you've ever done has led up to someone.
I know friends who have gotten past everything that used to drown them. I'm so freaking proud of them.

Day by day I walk down this sidewalk.
Always alone.
Excluding the one time someone walked with me.

We walked down the side walk together.
Something had happened earlier and we had to get away from it all.
Everything is going to be okay I told her.
Just breath.

Never again did she walk the lonely sidewalk with me again.
Instead she began walking with a different friend.
Back to the old times.
Back to walking alone.

Sweet girl...
Friends said I shouldn't talk to her.
Yeah she's slowly killing me.
Ripped my heart out for all to see.
Yet she holds it ever so gently.
Sweet Girl...
Talks about the other chick all the time.
Blocked me because she didn't want the chick to find.
That her and I were talking.
Sweet Girl...
I asked why she lets the one chick do that to her.
Why she can't move on.
She kept saying she needed something. Somehow I knew exactly what she means.
Sweet Girl. ..
You don't hold my heart as gentle anymore.
You kinda smashed it in a door.
Yeah this is how it feels to love someone who doesn't feel the same.
Sweet Girl...
I'm still sorry.
Sorry for doing everything.

Nope no pain.
Deep down under my sleeves I press down on cuts.
The cuts hurt bad.
Bad like everything memory.
I say it's just allergies.
That's the reason I look like I'm crying.
It's never allergies.
It's a little problem I like to call heartbreak.
When you fall for someone and they don't love you.
So many times this has happened.
Just great.

Yeah she was there first.
I was nothing but a tool.
A tool to help you get over her.
Guess you never got over her.
You really loved her huh?
Love her enough to call me your best friend.
Get me to trust you enough to tell you everything about me.
Then turn around and stab me.
You ******* ripped my heart out.
Thanks man! Means a lot.
Always love it when the person you cared about kills you inside.
Not the fist time this has happened.
First was my dad.
**** the list is too long.
all these people have like killed me.
You hurt the most though.
I hadn't cut in months.
Now my leg has an x on it.
And ex for ex for friendship that didn't work out.
I remember the plans we made.
How you told me you wanted to be with me.
Then everything changed so fast.
You said you never wanted us to get close.
And then I meant nothing.
I was just a ghost who came into your life.
Then was shoved out again.
Tossed out like garbage.
That's what I am.
A ghost.
I'm dead now.
At last.
But only on the inside.
I don't know who I can trust.
Way to **** up my trust with everyone.
By hurting someone with trust issues you pretty much hurt everyone around me.
Now imma be hesitant to tell anyone anything.
I'm going back to living in the shadows.
Back to drawing on myself with a blade.
Na I won't go that low.
Even though I did last night.
I love you.
But I still can't.
I'm weak.
Not strong anymore.
You were everything to me.
I obviously made a horrible mistake.
I spent countless nights wondering if you were okay.
You probably didn't care.
You told me that I'm alive because love keeps humans alive.  
I asked how.
You said because I love you.
You obviously didn't.
I'm sorry for ******* this up.
So sorry.
I'm sorry for loving you.
Sorry for caring.
Sorry for hurting.
Sorry for letting the pain control me.
Just sorry.
But no I don't regret meeting you.
I don't regret a single word said.
I don't regret kissing you.
I don't regret sneaking out of class to be with you for a minute.
I don't regret anything.
I regret loosing you.
I regret not being whatever you were looking for.
My friends say I should hate you.
I can't hate you.
You can't hate someone you loved.
And I loved you.
I remember you told me not to love you.
That i was making a mistake.
And that your a better friend than a girlfriend.
I'm sorry.
Sorry that you thought that.
Sorry that your back in what you called a toxic relationship.
Sorry that I'm sitting here reliving the past.
Listening to your favorite music.
**** that.
I love you.
Love is evil spell it backward and I'll show you.

Anger, sadness, depression, pain...
All those emotions swept over me.
When you actually care they never see.
See how much you cared for them.
You mean absolutely nothing in the long run.
So now I sit in the darkness of my house.
Tripping on the shadows I see.
Actually listening to the voices.
Cut yourself.
The scream.
Take a pill.
Take another.
And another.
Till you finally fall into a deep sleep.
When you can't sleep at night
Just take pills.
They help.
Help a hell of a lot better than the voices.
Just
Take
A
P
I
L
L
Then feel numb