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You begged me to stay
So I stayed

You begged me to change
So I changed

You begged me to smile
So I smiled

If I beg you to die
Will you die?
i beg you to stop begging me
War
I won the war
You asked if I was proud
I could never feel pride
For having to fight
In the first place
I won the war
I'm left with the thought
What were we even fighting for?
futility of war
 Oct 2020 alupa
amanda
insomnia
 Oct 2020 alupa
amanda
i’m grateful for the nights
i can’t sleep
for the time i get to spend
with the stars—
none of us knowing
why we have to exist
in the dark,
but choosing to shine anyway
4am and counting
 Oct 2020 alupa
Erik Luo
The universe in you
Is speaking to you
With the rhythm
of your heartbeat

Without deception
or trickery
Like a knowing
or feeling

of where you are going
Falling into place
Singing away
Your existence
Listen to it
 Oct 2020 alupa
ilias
growth
 Oct 2020 alupa
ilias
my flowers are
blooming
in different worlds
 Oct 2020 alupa
Elizabeth Preston
Frequently
she forgot about herself
the things she needed
barely even occurred to her
Instead of herself
she remembered
for other people
and there needs
it's as if
she didn't matter to herself
at all
 Oct 2020 alupa
amanda
monsters
 Oct 2020 alupa
amanda
i wasn’t wrong
to fear monsters
as a girl

i just expected them
to live in the dark

not in the silence
when you don’t respond to me
i assume you’re with her
—in her—
forgetting all about me
 Oct 2020 alupa
Elizabeth Preston
She looked at that day
that moment
in time that she felt
that one day
she could go
about her day
and truly be happy
feel happy
and stay happy
 Oct 2020 alupa
Wilbur
Dead
 Oct 2020 alupa
Wilbur
I'm better off when I'm dead
Want a bullet through my head
Paint the floor deep dark red

"I love you" that's what she said
Hurt is all she left me with
I'm better off when I'm dead
Memories...
 Oct 2020 alupa
eileen
he's worth
all the judgemental stares

the age difference
she's older
he's beginning to realize it's fate

he doesn't look up to her
he just wants to have fun and make her smile

all she wants is laughter

they wait for every thursday
to feel alive
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