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 Nov 2014 Alan Black
The Darkness
Mission ******* finally ******* accomplished, *******!!!
Okay, so I paraphrased. But, sometimes you have to beat your face against the wall of anothers delusion so long, that when they finally see the truth, it is a blessing for you, but a burning spiral of anger and pain for them. They think they have found something wonderful and lasting, but when you show them that the thing they cherished was, is and will always be a worthless *******, then tthey often take it hard. Humorously enough they typically take it out on that which failed them, when they should be kicking their own head in for not seeing it sooner. ******* fools have all the facts, and yet they cannot see. The thing you thought you loved was never meant to be. But, a hate-filled monstrosity will never set that thing free. The moral of the story is, "Don't fall in love with something that isn't worth loving. Don't waste time on a waste of life. The greatness you thought you saw, whatever it may have been, it is no more. Take pride though, because you had your own part in this silly ******* mess.
 Nov 2014 Alan Black
Pax

let go of insecurities and judgment upon self,
embrace acceptance.



© Pax
sometimes insecurites blinds us, and being too critical to self, we often forget to love the blessing we already have,
try to lessen it day by day, until nothing is left to ponder and as you'll see clearly the love and acceptance you are looking for because that is what i do, i still have some issues upon self and upon realizing this, i am learning to love myself a little more than i never did.

or i guess if perhaps its always there(insecurities ), then atleast you'll learn how to manage it  day by day to stay away and stay clear to the path to loving oneself.
 Nov 2014 Alan Black
Yael Zivan
Where has my light gone?

It used to be there.
Inside my chest.

You could reach in and peak at it. Glowing always.

Time is slipping

or maybe time is constant and I am falling behind.

Is it to late to save the memories, as time floods past me?

What was I when I was small.

That child so fierce and true.

Present, curious, always prepared, in training for a life of wild possibility.

Now alone, sick, and lazy, uninspired and utterly unmotivated,

I search for the spark that lit me before.

That light that I knew was unique to me.

I am special. I am meant for great things, I am the hero.

Who whispered these false words to me as I dreamed.

Was it my own strange ego elixir that I concocted and fed myself daily?

Was it angels who told me these things?

Are the still true?

Will they ever be?

Where has it gone. That light that fed me and kept me alive and angry...

Caged and dependent; I was still free.

My mind is in a cage now.

attached to wires that beep and pulse and need constant energy.

I want to cut them away from me, but those wires are the only things connecting me to my world.

Do I want to be a half dead battery leaching away at my own life?

Could I escape before it’s to late?

I search for pleasure, distraction, entertainment, stimulation.

Make me feel again.

Anything.

Approve of me.

I have to escape this maze. Rip out these chords, let the blood remain on the ground.

Time to run to the silence, let me hear silence.

My ears will have to break the addiction too.

No more white lines blocking their sense.

Time to be alone with myself and finally hear the universes heart beat within me.

But what if my boss calls?

What if i am too late?

I will open the tiny box inside my chest, and it will be empty.

Darkness.

No light remaining.
 Nov 2014 Alan Black
Yael Zivan
I’m writing to you because I miss you.

And you may be my one true love.

My first at least.

Though i didn’t know it when I met you.

I miss you

I miss the way you welcome me in

The way you understand me.

I miss the way you can see my truest self.

I miss the way I become myself when I am near you.

the way you are me and apart from me all at once

The way the stars look reflected in your eyes.

I never fear you though others do

I embrace your wildness

Your resilient good humor.

Your unique, nothing else like this, feeling.

The tear tracks on your heart from a thousand brutal fights and you still have so much love.

I kiss you and I can taste it

I can taste the fire, and the sunlight,

the trees and the vast distant rolling savannah.

When i touch you I can feel it

The drumming.

The gum boots, the stampedes, the thunder.

And when I close my eyes,

I can hear it.

The lions roar, the elephants trumpeting.

The thousands of tons of water at Victoria falls

The fish eagles cry

The singing boys at the choir school

The bushman's clicking language.

The cheetah's purr.

The wall of fire from the wild burning days.

The laughing.

The dancing. The singing. The fighting.

And as I breath, you breath,

As I rest, you lie awake, a quiet guardian in the night.

I lift up my hand and you take my fruit.

You silly little bushbaby.

I’ll give you my pineapple forever.

I hide behind the small acacia tree. and I see you.

I see the great king of Africa.

Isilo the Elephant.

The eyes so wise.

The tusks so fierce.

I am protected by you.

Beauty is to small a word to describe the way your body curves.

The blue of your skin. the green hues, the deep orange gold of winter hills.
The purple sunset.

The wetness after a storm.

The glowing embers in the night.

The dragons back. the most magical thing I have ever held in my eyes.
I miss you

Little grandmother on the hill.
Who bakes and meditates.
and drinks tea and gets her way
because *******, I deserve respect!

And little chocolate friends.
Your shandy on the rocks.
Your cottage in the woods.
Your cats and now your coming twins.

And the neighbors who play with eagles.

And Barrie who let me fly in his plane after only knowing his name five minutes.

And the witch who lived next door and could turn into a leopard.
And my grandfathers paintings that cover the old hotel.

The way people say my name.
The way I become myself.
And for the first time in my life,
I know who I am.
Released from my old stale life, I was rooted in magic, and earth, and love, and sacred eternal energy.
ADVENTURES so magic... I could cry.
I miss you so
I miss who I am around you.
I wish I could find you here.
I will find you again.
I will come back to you.
My beautiful country
One day
my one true love, otp, miss you everyday, home, africa, love, forever,
If you ever go to war with me
just be aware that I'd
more likely run away
than confront my fears,
my anger,
or fight
{in any case, I would direct it on myself}.
I'm embittered by too much fighting,
I've been a veteran of too much
Tragedy.

So when you start a war,
please do not use bullet-coated words,
or arrows of logic,
or cold stone truths.

Only, look me in the eye,
smother me in love,
**** me with kindness,
And I will surrender
gladly.
Side Note: How to have a perfect relationship
 Nov 2014 Alan Black
Pigeon
Alcohol
 Nov 2014 Alan Black
Pigeon
I tried to drown the thoughts of him in the strongest drink, but they are unaffected
and have learned to swim.
 Nov 2014 Alan Black
WickedHope
Sometimes I tell myself I don't need you at all.
Love, I miss you so ******* much...

— The End —