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  Mar 2015 Afraa
Theia Gwen
1.
I'm sorry I'll never be able to have dinner with your family, that I'll never be able to sit down to a meal that your mother cooked, hold your hand under the table, and feel like an insider. I'll always decline to stay for dinner because I know that the anxiety over eating, over saying the wrong things would get to me and the plate set in front of me would feel like a mountain to be climbed, a spotlight exposing the fact that I am a fraud and I'm sorry for that.
2.
I'll never grow out of it. I've grown into it. The lines between It and I have become hazy and some days I don't know who I am. Some days I'm going to be a *****, some days I'm going to withdraw, some days I'm going to need you to hold me and kiss me. Some days I'll let you see the most vulnerable parts of me and other days you're not going to recognize the girl you fell in love with.
3.
I'm addicted to my eating disorder. I need the control, the pain, the punishment. The feeling of my bones under my skin keeps me going, the promise of tomorrow.
4.
They say it's love when he's the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of before you go to bed. But my weight is always at the forefront, perpetually waiting for morning to come so I can drag myself out of bed, weigh myself and wait for the day that I feel satisfied and I know it shouldn't be this way.
5.
I love you more than I hate myself.
6.
I will never leave you here by yourself. It doesn't matter what I feel, I will never leave you wondering why. I can hurt myself, but I could never hurt you like that.
7.
  I know you're trying to understand what I'm dealing with, but I honestly don't understand it myself.
8.
I'm sorry that we'll never be able to order pizza and cuddle while watching Doctor Who, I'm sorry you'll never treat me to a fancy restaurant, I'm sorry I don't know why you love me, I'm sorry I'll skip out on doing things just because I don't want to confront food, I'm sorry I'll never go trick or treating with you, I'm sorry my problems are affecting our relationship. I'm sorry that I've made it personal. I'm sorry that I've put a face to the words 'eating disorder,' I'm sorry that it's a face that you love.
  Mar 2015 Afraa
ephemeral
"she's a bad friend, just a heads up.
I know she seems really great
and fun and understanding.
she's like that, at first.
she'll be positive and friendly, and you'll feel like you can trust her with your most-prized possession.
you'll want to tell her things, even if you're not a very open person.
she has that effect on people.
after a while, though, she starts to seem rough around the edges.
she'll go through very dramatic
mood swings-
she's a bit like the weather in NYC.
sometimes she'll be cheerful
and she'll laugh at the most
random of things.
those times, she'll be like a fresh spring day, around 72 degrees.
other times, she'll be the most pessimistic person you know. it'll feel like she's draining the positivity right out of you. those times, she'll be like a bitter winter's day, below zero and freezing.
on occasion, she'll change
back and forth between those
two seasons in a day.
it'll get to be very tiring for you,
trying to keep up with her many moods and feelings and attitudes.
you won't really know how
to handle her.
and eventually, it'll feel like she's
not really handling you.
she won't talk to you as often as she used to. she wont know what's happening in your life anymore, and you won't be able to remember the last time she told you about anything happening in hers.
eventually, you'll be the only one putting effort into the relationship.
but you'll continue to see her with other friends, laughing and sharing inside jokes and telling stories.
and it'll be so painful for you, because you're technically
still friends with her- it's not like
you had a fall-out or anything.
things will just be different between you two. she'll be distant, and so will you.
eventually, you'll just stop trying
to talk to her. all you'll do is smile briefly at each other in the hallways, sometimes talk for a few minutes about classes.
and it'll almost seem like you're strangers again.
so if I were you, don't bother with her. find someone worthy of your time and love and affection."
this isn't really a poem, more of a rant. people that I used to talk to for hours haven't had a real conversation with me in a few months. I know they're falling apart, and I should be there for them, and I'm not. so this is kind of an apology poem.
  Mar 2015 Afraa
IvyB Xx
"How Are You?"
BROKEN.USELESS.ALONE.
CLUELESS.FUSED.
BETRAYED.FRAGILE.DEPR­ESSED.
ANXIOUS.
PATHETIC.DEFEATED.NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.
BITTER.CRUSHED.NOTHING.

"Fine"
Ivy Botticelli
  Mar 2015 Afraa
witchy woman
No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.
The titles also a radiohead song. But it doesnt seem like a bad idea. Erase everyones memories of me and just leave. Fall back into the everlong seas of black unconcious and then hopefully to the end of time- the extraterrestrial, super inconcievable meaning of life. I believe we find it when we die. I dont even know, I dont think anyone loves me so its about that time.
  Mar 2015 Afraa
Eris
He'll love you more than he loved me because with you, you're perfect. Being your everything it's the greatest thing he can give to you.
                                    
I just want to say a few things, I want to tell you how lucky you are because you and him? You may as well be a perfect match and with that I want you to appreciate him. Appreciate his presence because girl, that's what I'm longing for. Show him how much you care and how much you admire him despite his imperfections (I tell you though you'll find beauty in them too)

I could never compare to you. The way he looks at you, it's much more meaningful. You are the sun, moon, stars that give him warmth when it's cold. When he thinks of you he just can't help but smile because you are his sunshine, something to look forward to everyday. You will be gravity that holds things perfectly in place, you will be his queen. All the things I never was and never could be will be you.
You will be his Juliet,
his Cossette,
his Elizabeth Bennett.        
And I
Will be no one.

Take care of him, love him with a love greater than mine. If you can.

Sincerely,
The girl he loved before
My mind is just sooooooo messy. My thoughts are killing me. They're drowning me, torturing me, cutting my heart and skin exposing my faults, downfalls and my shortcomings when it comes to loving him.
  Mar 2015 Afraa
Aylin Soto-Aleman
Mom
My mother is...

A superhero with no powers,
A knight with no armor,
A queen with no kingdom,
A gift with no ribbons,
A star with no award.

My mother is...

A tiger with stripes,
A life giver,
A home,
A friend,
A hug,
A kiss,
A frown,
A smile.

My mother is...

Hope,
Love,
Compassion,
Trust,
Happiness,
Anger.

My mother is...

My reason for existence,
My inspiration,
My motivation,
& God's creation.

Happy Mothers Day!
  Mar 2015 Afraa
Shaima Al-Marzouqi
I always thought that when time comes, when I fall in love, everything would be just perfect. Even the imperfections would seem perfect to me. I would even love the things I hate

Okay. You fall in love.. Now what?
What changes? He doesn't love you so what do you do?

I fell in love and all I did was cry
Love came bearing gifts shaped in insomnia and heartbreak
Love came with self hate
Love came with questions of what's wrong with me? Why am I not good enough? How much is good enough?

Love was never kind to me
Love made me suffer
Love made me sad
Because I am always the one who loves more, always the one who loves, never the one loved

What do you do when you love someone who doesn't love you back?
What do you do with those feelings?
Where do you put them?
What do you do with the unwanted feelings that you love and want to keep?

Love was never kind to me
Love is painfully beautiful
Love hurts but I don't want it to stop
I am addicted to you but I don't want to be recovered
How could you be both my source of pain and my pain killer?

I'm addicted to you, stay with me... Even if it's just in my dreams. Hold me and... Stay.
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