Have  I ever told you- I still have your boutonniere?
Perched proudly upon my poetry books~
All of the memories of "Us" may have been stored-
hidden-
in a box solely for those memories
but that flower stands proudly,
untouched from the date- May 3rd

Fragile as it may be ( now dehydrated )
It remains a symbol of our love -
Filled with beauty, and fantasy-
but now dried out-
yet I still have it

Should I throw it away?
Forget and abandon it-
Or keep it as a memory?
and risk it growing on me
The longer it stays
the more questions arise...

Do you still have yours- Or is it gone forever?
*Do withered flowers lose their beauty?

I blamed our separation on the fact that the edges of the universe keep moving away from each other

never break my heart,
because I will take every piece
you so harshly left
and stab your mind
with poems and prose
and you will no longer
be just a person
who came and went,
you will turn into
destruction and paper thin
apologies that you will never rid of.
I will turn you into paper cuts
barely there, but painful nonetheless,
reminding you every time you
attempt to wash away your regrets.

Do not break a writers heart, they will find beauty in your destruction and never, ever let you forget it.

You could write a thousand words
but you could ne'er write the word
that whispers in the darkest night
that word is my soul.

I cannot explain you.

I cannot form my thoughts or emotions into words, but if I could make them into anything, they would be a rainbow of colors sky rocketing through the atmosphere and propelling themselves into the heavens.

You make me take compliments. You've forced me to see that I am worthy of life. I am not just taking up air. I am perfect to someone, even with all my flaws and misprints. I have a purpose. Even when I feel useless and so disconnected to the world, you yank me back down. You are an anchor, keeping me from floating too far away. You are a shoulder on which I can cry on. You are a raging fire when determined and calm water when provoked. You are kind and gentle and everything I want to try to be. If a person were to describe you in perfect detail five months ago, I wouldn't have believed them, couldn't of fathomed a person like you existing. But you do exist. And you let me exist and spin around you, like the moon to the earth. A satellite. You are my Earth. I am your Moon. And you are perfect.

I cannot say what I want to. I cannot express what I feel right now. But I hope you allow me the time to show you.

Since that day you left
I made myself a promise.
A promise to never let anyone hurt me as much as you hurt me.

Do you remember all our laughs,
our stupid, pointless talks?
Did you care?
Was I just a joke to you?

Since that day I forgot what it feels like to be happy.
I promised myself I will never put my happiness in someone else's hands.

You made me open my eyes.
You made me the bad guy.
All your friends hate me now because you told them about my secret.

I promised myself to never trust someone so easily as I trusted you.
Trust must be earned.
You took advantage and hurt me.

This only made me stronger.
Yes you built me up and broke me down, but that only made me build myself up and made me stronger.

So thank you.
Thank you for hurting me.

I promise myself I will be okay and I will be happy without you.

From your love so far I strayed,
I don't deserve to be forgiven.
So many times I have betrayed,
I never earned the life you've given.

So many times I disobeyed you,
I tried to win it on my own.
So many struggles I have pushed through,
Refused your help, and fought alone.

And still you give to me your grace,
You give to me your every blessing.
You've never turned away your face,
So in my heart I am professing,

That on the cross for me you died,
And all my sins you cast aside.