I'm here.
I am no one in particular.
I am a face in a crowd.
I am charted waters.
I am covered ground.
I am blurring into the lines.
I am collapsing in on myself.
All that I have left is my name.
I am not struggling.
I am not in love.
I am not fighting.
I am not feeling.
I am nothing but a name.

we both knew that we were in deep.
we knew before it even started.
actually, we're not even that deep.
only six feet under the ground.
prematurely dead and overly tortured.
both feet in the grave.
both with one hand over our eyes.
both with one hand over our mouths.
by the time we saw, there was nothing left to see.
by the time we spoke, no one could hear.
we were just that deep.
just deep enough that we can't go back.

the blood in my veins
is pumped by a heart that's in chains.
i'm bound by your love,
in a world that's devoid of
every color except for you.
and i wish that i could redo
the first day that we met.
i would've stayed in until the sun set.
to stay away from you and your
relentlessly
restricting
love.

Sometimes it seems like my nightmares last longer than my sleep.
Then I realize that I never slept at all.

ex-friend. boyfriend.
they both mean the end.
your love was fake.
we were built to break.
i flirt with people but
you act like you're not cut.
come on, boy, you know you're hurt.
upset that i got up and left you in the dirt.
watch me do what you thought i'd never.
obviously you're not the one named clever.
feelings can't fade if they never start.
not sorry if i broke your heart.

i'd love you, but i just don't.

anymore.

I've always thought that love was more like water than anything else.
It evaporates so fast, invisible to the untrained eye.
It changes with the moon, depends on the night.
It crashes so fast, eroding like the waves.
It stays unreliable, currents pulling hard.
It changes hands so easy, used by everyone.
It drowns you quick if you're not careful.
I guess that's it's sad that I'm afraid of the ocean.