Bittersweet
the rush of caffeine
the warmth inside my bones
it's social graces
but...
bitter yes
Ma'am where's the creamer again?

Cry your eyes blind
no longer recognize
forever lost, never to find
never to change your mind
the smell of sweet pine
the texture of its rind
you will never lay yours eyes

Oh to what surprise
crying your eyes blind
accomplishes nothing but anguish

We are each born
A box full of pieces
But as the years pass
We are faultily rearranged
Jammed into wrong spaces
Lost under the couch
And as the years pass
We look less of what we were
And now more of who we are

Luckily, unlike puzzles
Our pieces can be replaced
Our cut outs can be reshaped
And even if we are misplaced
Someone will put you back together

if you're lost without               direction
i will be one of maybe             just a few        
i can be    your  own                compass                  
let me        encompass          you, when
direction       is unknown       my arms
are a                 place to                move,
come                    in enjoy the warmth
for i                           will always face
north                            straight true
                          
when your life is all recessions
and really all  depressions  too
let me be
your
compass
let me come encompass you
your Longitude and Latitude are
all thrown
in a muck
let me get you to a place,
where you wont feel so stuck


               The tropic of cancer
       Is not a place for one to linger
  if you need to             grab my hand
hold on like i'm               your stringer
   when you cant                
       gasp another
           breathe and    
               there   isn't
                   anything
                       you  can do
come, and          let me be your    
compass,                let me come  
  and                        encompass you
   every sigh                  you relieve      
     will help                    find you on
          the map,                 and every
             time you             squeeze
                my hands, will help
                      you to relax
                      

this world is                     full of                     problems, one
thing that im                for sure, so                lets forget all
  the complacent           and replace               them with
    something               more,      wipe           away your
       tears you              wont         need        them where  
          we are          going.             if your    lost ill be
           your paddles                         we can find the
            way together                          and just like
              a little                                   compass ill
              be here                                     forever

You and I
we are imperfect
But your broken edges
fit perfectly around all of mine

We are selfish entities
I am my own demise
For I want you here
Here inside my day
I see your words
I hear your voice

Is that slang for me?
I hope it it is
But then I hope it isn't
I shrug it off
Cognitive dissonance
You're responsible
You're to blame for this
That's ridiculous
Your actions run deep in my veins
Your words play inside my brain
And I try in vein
But to no avail
The game we play
Is never fair

Let me help you
I know I can
You're a strong woman
And I'm just a man
But there's things to learn
I'm sure you understand
We are selfish
I want you to myself
But in the end
I know your full
Of doubts

Random,
Is difficult to find, And perhaps even nonexistent
See a flip of a coin
Can be decided based on gravitation pull and upward force
A die can be rolled
But the face it reveals can be calculated
Stars spotted in the sky
Are all red/blue shifting in measurable distances
A website URL
Is generated with algorithm by a programmer
Your social security card
Show where you were born, your group, and serial numbered
Any "random" thought you have
Is somehow thought up by a relating idea in the brain
Unrelated subsequential events
Are made into patterns based on how unrelated they are

So, no.
I don't think it's random we met.
I think there is a fate and a destiny
There are always answers to what happens next
But whoever is deciding what does
Is doing a pretty **** good job

As a child, it was not I, but my mother
Who loved mud
Every morning of my adolescence
I observed my mother in her rituals
She kept a special red tin
Full of her desired delicacy
She would toss the tin cap aside
Eyes weary and hands slow
She would scoop a few cups into a machine
Without thought, or hesitation
She would fill up the mud *** with water
Glancing toward the pre-measured dashes
And pour it into the contraception
As she closed the top she would often say
"Good morning son, how did you sleep?"
My reply was always the same, "good"
Not in disrespect, but because served me to be short
Plus I had further examinations
A few minutes would pass and the mud
Would be begin to boil
And drip into the largest compartment
Once it's bubbling and popping subsided
She would find a ceramic cup
Pouring it herself up to the brim
Hovering over its steam
Clasping the dish close to her
When she was done and I was feeling daring
I'd sneak to her dismissed glassware
Wipe my finger against the bottom
Stick it in my mouth
Without fail my face would pucker
And my mother, as if to add to the dream
Would say something like
"You should have added sugar and cream"

I found myself wandering
through a woods near my home
and I relized that I
for once
started to feel alone
Like the leaves beneath my feet
the rustle was just there
both things present yes,
but neither I really cared

As my walk continued
I stumbled upon a creek
a beautiful blissful babbeler
Winding through the trees
to me it seemed that it was a sight
that few before me had seen
I only wished I had someone
besides the leaves beneath my feet
to share a place so beautiful and so discrete...

The trees they mocked me
each branch had many more
to share the blissful sight
of and eagle taking a soar
and every step further that I took
I realized even more
That loneliness digs deeper
Then your deepest inner core

I've wandered through this woods
Since many years ago
and though I've tried to find someone
no one really knows
what started as just a thought
has consumed where I go
Now I truly understand what it's like to be alone.

You let these things consume your life
the darkness of the night
the wicked and twisted positions you've been pushed in
You let them form your mold
you think about it everyday
you feel it in everything you say
you become sharp at its subject
but why let something consume you?
Your power as a person allows you for better
Your antics don't have to be effected
and your former self should not be ejected
even if this isn't how your future as projected
Be the person you would've expected

I sit in the park
With nothing
But a coffee and the paper
Around me are platano trees
It's fall.
And the colors glow in the sun.

Yellow, and orange, but abscent is red.
What a wonderful oddity.

I finish the paper and the coffee
Still I sit.
The bench grips my wool shirt,
Each fiber tangled in pine
The smell of the grass
Fills my lungs and makes me whole

The sun shines down on me
And promises warmth.
A fountain whispers sweetly
And I feel complete.

However.
I know the sun will go down.
The fountain turns off at nine
I've been down this road
Ten different times
And my humble aboad
Just might be better.

I sit uneasy.
But which will best?
The wooden bench and it's sweet caress?
Or my stable home where I am alone?

As a matter of fact
How did I get here?
How did I end up on this bench?
How did...

A woman in red approaches me.
"Hello" she says.

half empty coffee cups litter the desk
tools of various origin find their place
my bed lacks a duvet and matching skirt
a fish tank glows in the darkness
Each corner presents a new darkness
collared shirts line the floor
lined in such a way to form loose paths
you can still see the floor
but only through crumble ideas
and lost thoughts
The carpet wears thin where I pace
the blinds hardly dim the sun
the carpet lacks partitioning

Peace in a world of chaos.

And surprisingly,
Your kiss on my spine
Is always enough

Stick in my mouth
Hairs dangle in my face
Burnt to sour
My mind it wanders
And enjoys the taste
Remorses haste
Endorses fate
Source creates
Melancholy
Violin's string harmoniously
Cheetos

a little coffee cup
meant to be filled
waits eagerly in the cupboard
with all of her will

a small cup she was
but she could do the job
just waiting for someone
to pull the door ****

she'd show them her colors
and her half heart handle
she'd be filled up with coffee
and set on the mantle

Suddenly
something illuminates the dim
lips pressed against her brim
she'd get a chill if she ever had skin

warm hands held her tight
her job was finally fulfilled
she must be quite the sight
but her owner was not to skilled
down she tumble
off the window sill
and right before everything went black
a deafening CRACK!

in the night
we toss and turn
we battle and fight
but i want nothing more
than your body against mine
than your fingers entangled in mine
than your cool skin against the heat of mine

in the night
we seek a position
we look for comfort
but i want nothing more
than your lips against mine
than your hands on my skin
than your heavy breathe on my neck

in the night
we fight for  space
we steal the blankets
but i want nothing more
than your heart in my hands
than your thoughts in my head
than your words to embrace me again

i want nothing more...
but dear i could use some sleep

I am happy
I love deeply
I see clearly
I hold tighter
I give emotions
I miss dearly
I hope constantly
And I dream endlessly

But i am in darkness
My temper is short
My love is imperfect
My visions are blurred
My  grip slips
My heart is a locked door
My ignorance ignores longing
My hope is lost
My dreams become misshapen

So come my light, fore I need you

I smell your air across the room
the kind you used to wear
I can feel the textile of your hair
and your smile forming
I just can't see it now
because you're never there

You were there
and you may ask when
but I couldn't tell you
do you remember me
my little pea
my livid lover
the one who thinks like I do

I miss the bed by the lake
and the longing feeling of
background noise television
but in the end, I really just miss you around.

My jaw clenches with every word you speak
My hand grips the futon a little bit tighter.
And I get weak in the knees
As you questions pass in between us
Answers are given
By maybe not wanted to be received
Because maybe, you want the same thing
Slowly
As the conversation changes
Blankets get added
And positions rearranged
We began to entangle ourselves
With something we didn't expect
The ***.
You explained
Was less about the ******
But the moments right after
And in between the laughter
My hormones are a disaster
My cold sweat drips
But you only see yours
I examine your lips
Jealous of your finger tips
As you continue to release
My hand slides to your calf
But wishes it was your thighs
I was little aware, of this little surprise

Stop.

She loves me
I love her
Man, how my stomach stirs
when she says words
and when she looks in my direction
Let's just say there's blurs
I'm not really sure
how we ended up here
there were fights on the way
but hey, I've forgotten them now
how can she be so... wow just wow
I could talk abut her hair
I could talk about her smile
I could talk about her.. for quite the while
i would probably crawl a mile
in a pile of crushed viles
Just to hear her say I love you
and I know she does
from the things she does
because throughout the however many months
Everything I wanted she was
Pause.
she just looked this way and I forgot what I was going to say.
but anyways I hope she stays
so together we can number our days
in a number of ways
And I can do my favorite thing
listen to her say
I love you.

to learn something
has never been easier than now
but fibers of a page never cease to excite
the tips of my fingers
and the corners of my mind

Who is she?
She asks impolitely
A fire lit in her eyes
Before I can speak
My lips are bound
She doesn't care
Who she is
Just that she is
The problem is
I enjoy her presence
And she enjoys mine
But I could never tell her that
She wouldn't understand
See she is beautiful
Yet she understands me
When I see her
My heart skips a beat
When I see her
I get weak in the knees
So while my lips are restrained
I can only think
I am so much better off with her

I see you hurt
But I can't watch your pain
Let me in
Together we'll sustain

Options
Are dangerous things
Because each action
Has another one it brings

But despite popular belief and contrary to hopes and dreams.

We don't always have a choice
And no matter how our conscious screams
Sometimes we have no voice

Then again judgement is just an interpretation of what's right and wrong in that moment.

When frost picked a path
It didn't matter at the time
But look at the impact it had

Options are options
But in the end maybe they aren't choices

I look around my room
shadows cast in every direction
I look around my room
giving all my things a close inspection
I look around my room
for inspiration for the day
my eyes land on her picture
and I know
today
will be okay