even after everything
if i could go back
to the first moment we met
i wouldn't run
from the heartache
i'd only tell myself
just how worth it
you were.

i'm drowning
under the weight of our goodbye,
knowing i'll never
catch my breath again.

i said never again,
but maybe this time
you would be different.
maybe it would hurt less,
when you handed
my love back to me.
maybe we were still
made of stardust,
desperate for another chance
to make it.
wanting to do better,
to finish what we started.
but you walked out the door
and once again,
i'm left alone
with my ******* heart
and the unwavering need
to love that which can destroy me.

more than every drop of water
in every ocean
more than every grain of sand
in every desert
more than every single star
in the night sky

i'm going to miss you
just as much as i would've loved you.

we find ways to steal moments together, knowing our time is running out. clinging to each other like inmates on death row, facing the realisation that soon we will no longer exist. each time your eyes find mine my heart breaks. you move the stars in my sky and send fireworks through my soul. the ghost of you stays with me, the feeling of your body against mine and of my lips finding yours in the dark are infused in my very being. in those moments we were immortal. i'd give anything for one more night to surrender to you, to fully explore what was robbed from us the first time. **** i'd even take 10 minutes. just you & i hidden from the world, left to speak in the only language our souls understand. i dream that we got that. that somehow, somewhere we got a real goodbye. they say at the end you see it all infront of you, now you're all i see and i'm terrified of a life without you in it. you are my inferno.

again i find myself
drowning in you
****** together
like waves on the shore.
i'm ready to go under
and feel you fill my lungs
you are my oxygen.

i sometimes wonder
what i did wrong
perhaps i was too much to handle,
incapable of loving small.
i tie myself wholly
in an act of pure devotion
ready for worship
maybe that's what made you run
but i can't apologise
for wanting a love
that eats me whole.