Not knowing the right words
to express entirely how this feels,
I cry.

In the middle of the night,
as I go through the day,
whether its for work or play,
I stop.

When uncertainty isn't enough,
and every conversation is tough,
I breakdown.

Because there is nothing left,
and nothing will ever feel right;
For I lost,
and I am loss.

Whoever said paper cuts are the worst kind of pain, has never seen their prince go off with the wrong princess.

sometimes
i apologize so much
i feel like i'm saying sorry for my existence

I want to rewind it all.
I'm watching the snow fall out my window and I can't help but daydream about catching it on my tongue all those years ago.
Back when I'd breathe onto windows so I could draw pictures, back when the whole world was my canvas.
It seems the whole world's already been colored in though, like there's no more room left for us dreamers.
I read a poem in junior high asking where dreams go, but now I care more about where the dreamers went.
I want to rewind it all.
Back to when I thought the sky was another world's ocean,
Back before I had ever heard the word stratosphere or had failed a biology test.
I want life to be recorded on a VCR, little green and red buttons putting my mind at ease.
Then again, I haven't owned a VCR in years...

I want to set someone's soul on fire
to be their first wondering in the morning
and their last thought before they fall asleep.
I want to be someone's 11:11 wish
or their dream on a shooting star.

I want to be someone's everything,
instead of the mid-way nothing that I'm used to.
I want to be the one thing they're afraid of losing
that they can't imagine their life without,
and I want to be their last first kiss.

I want to count the galaxies in their eyes while we lay together,
to start counting their stars but lose track because there are too many.
I want to sing their favorite song while we kiss
and trace our favorite words on their back;
I want to make them come alive.

"Forever?"* is too long;
"Love me?" is too difficult;
"Stay?" is too needy;
"Hold me?" is too awkward...

Some how my questions are always wrong,
I just want to regain the love that I once felt;
But I'm left with broken bones and broken heart on the ground pleading,
And he dusts himself off, walking away telling me to *"keep going onward."

You have to be lost
To eventually find
where you belong