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Its so easy for these feelings to take back over..
I fight them off for a few weeks but they always win..
But I fight and fight again,
Just simply to begin..

So I continue the good fight..  
All it takes is just a few moments..
To gather myself strong..
To stay away from the wrong..

Just don't get it off your chest..
Keep it to yourself..
If no one truly knows..
Then there is nowhere for it to go..

It can stay with me..
Inside like water..
Taking shape but always pushing..
Against this emotional dam thats leaking..

In the end its me..
Me getting through this..
Me fighting me..
Me making myself see..

Its the other me that doubts me..
Its the me that believes in me..
Constant conflict and compromise..
Emotions in disguise...
Some of the everyday good fights we all go through..  None of which are simple.  Don't know why these words came to me. But I liked where they ended..
 May 2017 Emilia Delemontex
Sofia
darling delilah
what a pretty little thing you are
tell me,
when the philistines promised you the world for samson’s heart
did you know this was strength?

anne anne anne boleyn
what a cunning little thing you are
tell me,
when you sliced through rome with the kiss of a king
did you know this was destiny?

cleopatra my love
what a lovely little thing you are,
tell me,
when you drew caesar to your bed for the nile and for yourself
did you know this was power?

holy holy joan of arc
what a mighty little thing you are
tell me,
when you were burned at the stake for hearing god’s voice at fourteen
did you wish it was the devil instead?

golden girl marie antoinette
what a sweet little thing you are
tell me,
when your shiny blonde head rolled down the steps of a revolution
did you finally feel like a girl?

eve mother of eden eve
what a wicked little thing you are
tell me,
when you sunk your teeth into the secrets of the universe
did you feel like a god too?
 May 2017 Emilia Delemontex
Erin
His fingers were in her hair,
gold twine wrapped around ivory stumps.
Their legs were thoughtlessly intertwined,
ivy twisting and curling with ease.
Together,
they moved so gracefully;
at the quiet melody of Bach
or the deafening sound of cannon fodder,
they would never miss a single nuance,
a single chance to lay limb and limb.
His eyes, silvery taupe,
laid upon her languidly,
skimming over her sweet cream skin
and thinking of its syrupy taste
while she only thought of his bitter coffee mouth
and Daniel’s breath,
heavy on her face around two p.m.
And with that,
she thought of when she would come home
from whatever she had been doing that day,
a grin in her often somber eyes.
but when she would feel the mechanism click under her skin
and the metal would grind to open,
the light would be lost to pure black.
Shot glasses would be stacked like a house of cards on the coffee table.
pots and pans would be piled in the sink haphazardly,
like shrapnel from the afternoon’s disastrous activities.
And she would sigh,
a honeyed tone fogged with realization
as she would collect the bricks of his card house
and ran the water to dissolve what could be
from the collection of sharp tin in the kitchen.
Her eyes ringed with mascara,
she would shake him awake,
shaking herself like a leaf without the stability of its branch.
Once she saw the gunpowder eyes,
her fire would be extinguished.
He would groan and ask where she’d been.
She would say at work.
He would ask why she went.
She would tell him she didn’t want to,
didn’t want to leave him.
But in truth,
she had wanted to rekindle her flame,
to let it roar in the open air
instead of it being muffled by his touch.
She would apologize,
Her honey scent now sour
with guilt, forced upon her by the guard
who held a pistol to her head,
which held, without her knowledge,
no bullets.
To make it up to him,
to make it up to
anyone else she had hurt that day,
She let him wrap his ivy limbs around her frail body
and consume her -
adorn her with thorned roses
and stinging nettles.
He said they looked beautiful,
made her taste even sweeter,
smell even nicer
and she believed him.
The ****** marked her skin,
leaving red streaks along her arms,
but she thought of them as her flames
finally making an appearance.
She was satisfied in her forest,
where no one would hear her fall,
but everyone would see her burn.
 May 2017 Emilia Delemontex
Angel
Forever forgotten
Was the blue colored sky
Replaced by the milky white dome
Designed to fit their polluted time

As young children lay their head to rest
A pasty pillow
A chalky night dress
And their ivory ceilings
Covered in painted charcoal stars
An artificial image forever stained on their hearts

Never will they look out at the clear pearl moon
Thinking of someone
Wondering if they're thinking of you

No snow coats the grass
In the cool winter months
No alabaster dandelions lacing the air
You can't find any white nature here

But in this moment it’s 2017
And i’m laying on the hunter green grass
Amongst the stars and the trees
And I wonder when history books will talk of this time
When the sky wasn’t painted white
 May 2017 Emilia Delemontex
ryn
.

    oOOo           oOO      OOo     oOo                         
oOOOOo      OOo     Ooo      OO       oOo         
OoOoO                                               Oo          
ooO            •naked feet tread                
  with nonchalance•unafraid
    of what receding tides might
       bring•hardened heels soften
         to sunlit reverence•children
                   frolick accompanied by
                              unguarded peals
                                 that ring•towa-
                                     rd the ocean
                                      vast we halt
                                     to face•we
                                  look to the
                             horizon and
                         dream of un-
                   seen lands•we
          lift one foot with
   the other in place•
is this all we are...  
just impressions    
in the sand?•      

.
There should appear some respite,
despite
the fact, I am a Nyctophile
as I too love my collapsing sight
I too flicker in the bright.
Like an earner without his earning
The dark existence,
by the sphere that lurks, partially satiated
'See-Saw' a fodder for human poets
The other aspect, totally denied.
Skin is imbalanced
which showers mixed colors
Why not an equilibrium?
Vampires licking honeyed sanity
The sane too, join the party.
But, if he complies, they wouldn't
If she complies, they wouldn't
Fluctuations are eminent
There should appear some respite,
despite
the fact, I am a dust stained file
as I too love my collapsing might
I too flicker in the bright.
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