Impatience is the impairment of patience
Where it is imperative, should be noted
That the implication of impatience
Is the lack of it thereof,
That is, patience
And not having the time to
Improve upon waiting

It's not necessarily a bad thing
Sometimes it's best to rip the bandaid quickly

There is a key
To an abyss of thoughts
So irrelevant, so minute
It surprises me what I remember
When the gate to these thoughts
Is opened

And is the reason why I'm still awake
Two hours after going to bed

All I ever wanted
was to be a gentleman.
What if those gentlemen I
aspired towards are proponents
of a patriarchal life-world.
Where does hope ever leave me?
All anyone ever wanted
was to be good. I know
I'm one of the bad guys. So it goes.

Might as well tell a joke befitting:
Why did god give man two nostrils?

A small bump of 4-MEC
[4-MethylEthCathinone]
It is a fairly typical
substituted cathinone.
Pleasant enough and
without excessive
tachycardia at
lower doses.

A little line
of Ketamine
goes down
well as
a chaser,
It put me
at ease after
the stim's quick-
fire breeze. I fall
into tranquility
but it's not the hole
we're all searching for.

My mate sneezes.

Suicide jokes aren't funny anymore.

At some point I knew,
or thought I knew,
that I was the only one
who could really look out for me.
How am I so terrible,
unable to trust?
Even the ones that love you
will let you down.
That thought burned over me,
molten metal, hardening fast
into some twisted selfish armor.
Protecting me from pain
but also love.
I have trouble taking it off.

Once again torn in two.
To go or stay.
To love or hate you.
Struggling to keep the doubts at bay.

It seems so silly to have so much pain,
we were so willing to throw it all away,
just yesterday,
can I really erase that from my brain?

Why is it when the sun shines I want to be here?
Why can't I stay mad at you my dear?
I go from wanting to hurt you,
to sticking to you like glue.

What is it about this place?
Making me at once both miserable and complete?
Maybe it is the pain that makes my heart race.
Maybe I'm an addict, making happiness a herculean feat.