"you can not cry"
"crying shows weakness, you are not weak"
"push away the feelings you don't want them"
"what is that weight you're holding"
i feel the tears building
my throat clogging
my tense hands trembling with fear
but not the fear of being seen as weak.
i could give a **** about that.
the fear of feelings,
letting them flow,
saying goodbye.

I watch them as they go,

flow down my cheeks

to my pillows

to my floor

making a puddle so i can see
my imperfect reflection staring back at me

All I want is you
But you’re exactly who I cant have

Im so sad right now,
If only I could be in your arms.

Your smile is the moon
It brightens even the darkest of times
Your laughter is a wind chime on a windy day
Loud and cheerful
Your hugs are blankets
Warm and comforting
Your voice is a soft breeze
Singing me goodnight lullabies

Soon, Your smile is a blank canvas
Your laughter is a small wave
Your hugs are cold
Your voice is a loud unbearable e song
And I sing you goodbye lullabies
as your breath becomes chimney smoke

i love you so dearly
but you are dying me blue
from the tips of my toes
to the tears you make me cry
i know you’re too clueless to understand the emotions of a hopeless romantic like me
but i hope you can understand one day
that i am doing this because i love you too much.
for so long i never understood why people left the ones they loved
“Why do such a silly thing to yourself?” I would ask the stars accompanying venus
but now i understand that the silly thing would be to stay
because as much as i love you
i need to love me too.
so for now i’ll sail my ship far away
and maybe one day you’ll grow up as i did
and love me as a love you.
and it pains me to say this
this pain is like no other
i would rather take a bullet straight through my head
but we all have to make sacrifices
and so now i will take a bullet straight through my heart
goodbye.
~ you know who you are. i love you too much to stay. i hope you can forgive me but for now let me forgive myself.~

Tears,
Words,
Stories,
Memories;
Sometimes--
They run from my eyes,
And down my cheeks,
And off my chin,
And fall on their face.
On the cold
Cement.
Their story Over,
But not Forgotten.
They tell tales
A Broken
Can't speak.
Stories no one should recount.
More powerful than laughter;
Stronger than steel.

Not everything is ever as it seems.