To make this a challenge,
I'm doing me.
So, good things on me....
I can write pretty well
I finished NaNoWriMo
Uh.....
I type pretty fast when I get into it
I'm in chorus
I can do school stuff if I try
Uh....
I'm alive?
Is that a good thing?
Not everyone hates me
I may have a few friends
Um.....
I don't know any more
But thank you Andy
For that challenge,
It sort of did help.

anorexia you inside of me
hysteria is all you'll ever be.
you're a struggle
and you caused me a lot of trouble
yes you made me skinny
all with that stupid theory
but i'm gonna win in the end
even though you are my only friend

i will not die today
just have to get back what i threw away
i called you my master for way too long
but i just realized where i belong
i have my friends here
and they take away my fear

i might have been close to death
but only beacuse of your stupid threat
"you're gonna get fat"
and then we had the calorie chat
but i'm forcing you to leave
so i can freedom achieve

If you had a bad day today
I just wanted to remind you
That you are wonderful
And you are worthy of life
I am here if you need to talk
I am here if you need to vent
Nothing anyone ever says
Nothing that ever happens
Is worth tearing yourself apart over
because this life
is yours
don't let society
take your life
away from you
you are a beautiful soul :)

when my son was younger
he asked -

how old are the mountains
from where did the First People come
why does the sun sleep in the ocean
what is the color of rain

now that my son is older
stronger, wiser and bolder
he asks -

how old are the mountains...
...what is the color of rain


some things don't change.

Let me put my hands in your hair, and feel your mouth on mine.
Let me sigh with pleasure, when we've only just begun.
Let me take off your tie, unbutton your shirt.
Let me lick your skin, ache with so much want I hurt.
Let me slip off my dress, drop it to the floor.
Let me straddle you, craving, needing more.
Let me in your pants, to caress you with hungry delight.
Let me consume you, *******, only the start of the night.
Let me **** on you indulging, after you eat at me.
Let me bend and break at your very touch, all for you to see.
Let me be a toy, play with me, tease and tantalize.
Let me be yours, make me moan, make me scream- let us be vulgarized.

I am awoken by a nagging in my head
its in my mothers voice
the urgency,
I don't know what for, its 5 am.
my submission doesn't speak.
I fill the air with the sound
of my nonsense, a rambling of dreams,
"dont burst the bubble, burst the bubble, burst the-"
a never ending melody.
Because there is nothing louder than this, I have wanted to crawl out of my skin long before I knew it was mine.
And theirs, not mine entirely, composed of DNA so imperfect
even the gods would've laughed.
If you ever want to **** something up to the point its unrecognizable,
give it to me, look what I did to my own potential.
Squander doesn't begin to cover it, almost out of spite.
and i must stop it before it reaches my eyes
it has a certain way of clouding them over
and I just dont want people to realize
that I am swallowing a lump
at the back of my throat
what seems like forever
trying not to get my eyes to burn or
dig my nails deep into someones throat
just to feel their artery and scream
"YOU ******* FEEL IT DONT YOU?
ARE YOU ALIVE? ARE YOU REALLY HERE?
YOU ARE ALIVE, ALIVE ALIVE!."
Then place the sharp bits of my nails
against my skin, hard
and not feel
anything
I struggle with self control
especially with ***
and drugs
and alcohol.

I yell too often, never loud enough to make them hear me.
I am afraid of my own voice
telling people to shut up
Jack knows its not a good thing if I whisper
last time I did I said
"I don't have a pulse, I cant find my pulse."
Before I freaked out and smashed that vase against the wall
and laughed at what a sad broken cliche I have become.
My anger came out in sputtering sobs

And he tried to hold me
because that's what people do in movies
cue the background music
but I didn't let him because I was never any good at acting,

and he never got mad when I hit him
I can hear that "Sshhhh" at the back of
my ear
Forever.
and I could wince at my own humiliation if I gave a ****.
I wont lie it was awkward he sounded scared
"aww dont c-c-ry"
thought I saw a tear there too